reader Rums, sent me this adorable list! lovely trip down memory lane!
Most romantic moment=the proposal(nikah papers)
Most emotional happy moment=imraan sending tracker2find fatti
Most memorable moment=picnic on t roof
Most cherishable moment=anniversary gift
Most funny=mil scene at t award
Most funny2=imraan rushing fatti 2mamajee in fatti pj top
Most shocking=wen summaya heard hubby wanted a 2nd wife-shukr nevi happen
Most adorable=the make up after misunderstanding fight
share your favourite moments in the comments if you wish:)
xree
Thursday 19 March 2015
Saturday 14 March 2015
Thank You!!!!
thank you to every single person who ever read this blog...the stats always made me smile!
thank you to every person who commented, emailed and shared their thoughts... I appreciate your words so much.
thank you to all those who know me and get so excited to figure out I was writing this story! Too cute!
This story is over, I tried to make it complete...to keep it real. The storyline wrote itself...i never set out to write a sad blog...it just happened. I tried to change it, but my mind didn't allow it. I hope you enjoyed it even though it wasn't the perfect happy ending...
so before I say goodbye, I just wanted to include some trivia:
this blog was written, posted, maintained and edited entirely from a mobile phone. Every episode is saved as a note on my phone.
I wrote most of the post while on maternity leave when my son was sleeping, and I should have been sleeping too!
in the original first post, Fatima and Imraan didn't have names, I was just writing.
in the first few post I didn't know what work Fatima did, only after I wrote the post on how they met it fell into place, and I went back and added it to earlier post.
I choose Port Shepstone as her home town because I lived there briefly in 2013 (best memories ever), so I was familiar with the landmarks.
Ahmed was invented just to protray all the pre-marriage drama. Dilnaas's name was originally Mariam,but when I was reading my sisters blog, I saw that a couple in her story had the same names...changing her name had changed her personality though lol...a Dilnaas couldn't be anything less than fabulous;)
Kats and luths are actually the real names of my own good friends, while the characters weren't based on them, it just some how happened and I figured every girl needs amazing friends like mine...even frictional ones.
my husband only managed to read 3 post of this blog before he decided it was too long and boring. :)
I didn't want Imraan to die...i tried to rewrite the post 6times.
lol, hope you found the story, behind the story, just as fun.
much love, till my next venture...
Ree
thank you to every person who commented, emailed and shared their thoughts... I appreciate your words so much.
thank you to all those who know me and get so excited to figure out I was writing this story! Too cute!
This story is over, I tried to make it complete...to keep it real. The storyline wrote itself...i never set out to write a sad blog...it just happened. I tried to change it, but my mind didn't allow it. I hope you enjoyed it even though it wasn't the perfect happy ending...
so before I say goodbye, I just wanted to include some trivia:
this blog was written, posted, maintained and edited entirely from a mobile phone. Every episode is saved as a note on my phone.
I wrote most of the post while on maternity leave when my son was sleeping, and I should have been sleeping too!
in the original first post, Fatima and Imraan didn't have names, I was just writing.
in the first few post I didn't know what work Fatima did, only after I wrote the post on how they met it fell into place, and I went back and added it to earlier post.
I choose Port Shepstone as her home town because I lived there briefly in 2013 (best memories ever), so I was familiar with the landmarks.
Ahmed was invented just to protray all the pre-marriage drama. Dilnaas's name was originally Mariam,but when I was reading my sisters blog, I saw that a couple in her story had the same names...changing her name had changed her personality though lol...a Dilnaas couldn't be anything less than fabulous;)
Kats and luths are actually the real names of my own good friends, while the characters weren't based on them, it just some how happened and I figured every girl needs amazing friends like mine...even frictional ones.
my husband only managed to read 3 post of this blog before he decided it was too long and boring. :)
I didn't want Imraan to die...i tried to rewrite the post 6times.
lol, hope you found the story, behind the story, just as fun.
much love, till my next venture...
Ree
Epilogue: Surprise!!!!;
Today is my birthday, I turn 16th. Its not that special, since i share my birthday with another human that lives in my house! but, Today, my mother gave me the best gift I could have ever asked for...a glimpse into my past...her past...the past.
For 16 years I have asked my mother to tell me about my father, his family, her family.
I wanted to know who I was and where I belong, I wanted some history.
My mother always avoided the topic. The only family I really remember growing up was my granny, I called her Nani, she was my mothers mother.
For most of my childhood Nani use to visit every month for one weekend, she was amazing. She brought us gifts and told me stories' about my Nana and about my mother when she was young.
I looked forward to Nanis visits more than anything else.
My mother calls me Imirani. My brother and I live a quiet life in a small town. We are twins, but we look nothing alike! We different on the inside too. He is very outgoing, crazy and ready to take on the world. I am more book-smart and domestic, if you can call it that.
this town is 10 years behind time, even for me! I rather be overseas to visit my Kala in London- we only went once. My mothers brother and his wife live in Australia, they Skype often, but I don't know them at all.
we lived this isolated life all these years,my mother teachers at the local primary school and she works so hard. She has been the deputy principal for 10 years.
Now, i feel like everything is going to change ... We are going to a town 3hours away-Pietermaritizburg.
I think that is why my mother gave me access to her diary, this place has something to do with the past.
....
I stayed up all night reading my mothers old online diary, I cried...i laughed, I am amazed and in awe...
my mother has been incredibly strong, the last post in her diary, has me reeling.
------------------------
"I finally took over the care of my precious children and in this kidmaat I find solace. If only Imraan's mother could find her peace.
my iddaat is coming to an end, I want to go home and stand on my own two feet. Imraan's mother is threatening to lock down our house, she claims it is part of his estate. She still blames me for his death...she wants me to feel what she feels, as if i dont already...
She wants me to give her Zeyaan. I can't bear the thought of giving up my child...these children are all I have.
I wish I could take my babies and just disappear, some how just slip under the Rader.
I dreamt of Imraan again...he was in a beautiful garden and I was trying to run towards him...but I couldn't reach him...he was saying something to me...i stopped running and tried to listen...i woke up in a cold sweat.
"go...go...don't look back!" "
----------------------------------------
I went to the privacy settings on the blog and changed it to public. It was time for the world to know my mothers story.
at the first signs of day break, I crept into my mothers room. I found her still on her musallah. I hugged her as we cried together. Our tears washing away years of fear and pain.
"She is gone?", I asked my mother.
"No, she is very ill...she phoned to apologies after all these years...she wants to give me the house. I think she wants to see you both too" My mother said.
My mother was talking about my fathers mother, the person who would have been my Dadi...the person who spewed lies and accusations against my mother, tricked her into signing away her rights and shares from her marriage to my father. A women who ignored my mothers pain 16years ago and a women who tried to split our family further.
yet, my mother spoke with complete peace. She showed no anger or bitterness.
everything made sense now, why we lived such a quiet life, so isolated. Why we hardly knew any family.
"let's go tell Zeyaan...", I said.
my mother started laughing. "Oh, imirani...you remind me so much of your father!" she said with eyes filled with memories. " I don't think your brother will be happy to be awoken at this hour! Lets wait till breakfast atleast", she said.
" no this is important!!!!", I insisted as I hopped off to his room.
my name is Zehrah Imirani...and today, my family is going home!
For 16 years I have asked my mother to tell me about my father, his family, her family.
I wanted to know who I was and where I belong, I wanted some history.
My mother always avoided the topic. The only family I really remember growing up was my granny, I called her Nani, she was my mothers mother.
For most of my childhood Nani use to visit every month for one weekend, she was amazing. She brought us gifts and told me stories' about my Nana and about my mother when she was young.
I looked forward to Nanis visits more than anything else.
My mother calls me Imirani. My brother and I live a quiet life in a small town. We are twins, but we look nothing alike! We different on the inside too. He is very outgoing, crazy and ready to take on the world. I am more book-smart and domestic, if you can call it that.
this town is 10 years behind time, even for me! I rather be overseas to visit my Kala in London- we only went once. My mothers brother and his wife live in Australia, they Skype often, but I don't know them at all.
we lived this isolated life all these years,my mother teachers at the local primary school and she works so hard. She has been the deputy principal for 10 years.
Now, i feel like everything is going to change ... We are going to a town 3hours away-Pietermaritizburg.
I think that is why my mother gave me access to her diary, this place has something to do with the past.
....
I stayed up all night reading my mothers old online diary, I cried...i laughed, I am amazed and in awe...
my mother has been incredibly strong, the last post in her diary, has me reeling.
------------------------
"I finally took over the care of my precious children and in this kidmaat I find solace. If only Imraan's mother could find her peace.
my iddaat is coming to an end, I want to go home and stand on my own two feet. Imraan's mother is threatening to lock down our house, she claims it is part of his estate. She still blames me for his death...she wants me to feel what she feels, as if i dont already...
She wants me to give her Zeyaan. I can't bear the thought of giving up my child...these children are all I have.
I wish I could take my babies and just disappear, some how just slip under the Rader.
I dreamt of Imraan again...he was in a beautiful garden and I was trying to run towards him...but I couldn't reach him...he was saying something to me...i stopped running and tried to listen...i woke up in a cold sweat.
"go...go...don't look back!" "
----------------------------------------
I went to the privacy settings on the blog and changed it to public. It was time for the world to know my mothers story.
at the first signs of day break, I crept into my mothers room. I found her still on her musallah. I hugged her as we cried together. Our tears washing away years of fear and pain.
"She is gone?", I asked my mother.
"No, she is very ill...she phoned to apologies after all these years...she wants to give me the house. I think she wants to see you both too" My mother said.
My mother was talking about my fathers mother, the person who would have been my Dadi...the person who spewed lies and accusations against my mother, tricked her into signing away her rights and shares from her marriage to my father. A women who ignored my mothers pain 16years ago and a women who tried to split our family further.
yet, my mother spoke with complete peace. She showed no anger or bitterness.
everything made sense now, why we lived such a quiet life, so isolated. Why we hardly knew any family.
"let's go tell Zeyaan...", I said.
my mother started laughing. "Oh, imirani...you remind me so much of your father!" she said with eyes filled with memories. " I don't think your brother will be happy to be awoken at this hour! Lets wait till breakfast atleast", she said.
" no this is important!!!!", I insisted as I hopped off to his room.
my name is Zehrah Imirani...and today, my family is going home!
Saturday 28 February 2015
an update from the MiA author:)
As salaam mu alikum
I'm pleased to announce that I'm logging in after nearly a month!
I wish I could say "I'm back", but I can't. My plate is really full right now and the blog has taken a back seat.
shukraan, many of you have stayed this journey with me from the start, the ups and downs. You have tolerated my erratic posting schedules and long breaks. I must thank you.
so, I can't leave this story and the characters that became so dear to me, just hanging in mid air...i have to end it.
insha'Allah, there will be, one final installment of this story soon, for those that still check this blog, for the people that email to ask if its ending, for my friends that check if I still have a pulse :)
soon, I promise!
much love,
ree
I'm pleased to announce that I'm logging in after nearly a month!
I wish I could say "I'm back", but I can't. My plate is really full right now and the blog has taken a back seat.
shukraan, many of you have stayed this journey with me from the start, the ups and downs. You have tolerated my erratic posting schedules and long breaks. I must thank you.
so, I can't leave this story and the characters that became so dear to me, just hanging in mid air...i have to end it.
insha'Allah, there will be, one final installment of this story soon, for those that still check this blog, for the people that email to ask if its ending, for my friends that check if I still have a pulse :)
soon, I promise!
much love,
ree
Tuesday 20 January 2015
Part 66: Emerging...
I felt like I was struggling beneath the surface, drowning...but not wanting to emerge.
Slowly the weeks were ticking by and life was going on for everybody else...
For everybody else except me!
I submerged myself in tilawaat and zikr...it was the only solace for my broken heart.
It was all I could now do for Imraan.
I felt nothing about life or the world, I barely knew what day it was and I certainly wasn't aware of the passing of time.
But, alas...time waits for no man.
Shireen came to visit, amongst the sea of other visitors, her visit stuck out.
Most people who came, asked how I am awkwardly..they mumbled kind words and duas and then they felt lost looking at me, I didn't blame them...even I was lost. Most people usually turned to mummy or dilnaas or sabera, whoever else was there...they usually spoke about me in stage whispers, as if I wasn't there.
"Kaam che? Shame man...she's eating ne hando?bechari...whoo kaari?"
I usually just shut it out and continue my ibbadaat, my essale sawaab.
The more I turned to Allah, the better I felt. I was doing something worthwhile for Imraan...i was doing all I could do!
Shireens visit was different, after the awkwardness, she burst forth with news, to exciting to contain...she was pregnant again!
Her happiness and excitement was evident as she gushed about this and that. She didn't seem to mind my lack of response nor did she notice my growing anger.
After she left I was reeling. How dare she! She was cruel and heartless!!! Here I was, a widow before 30...with two fatherless children and all she cared about was herself! I didn't need a reminder how perfect everybody else life was! I was so angry, I cried hot angry tears into my pillow.
Emotions gushed out of me from deep within my soul. I begged Allah to fill my heart with sukoon. I couldn't take this pain anymore.
Once I had calmed down I could think straight and I realized how wrong I was. Shireen had every right to be happy...every right to enjoy her good fortune...every right to bask in the glow of her pregnancy. What right did I have to wish her less joy?
Death had left my children fatherless but my well of self pity was leaving them motherless!
Nobody knows better than me, how short life is...perfect can be snatched away in a minute. Happiness can turn to sadness, in only a second...
I lost my husband but I shouldn't be robbing my babies of a mother too.
I woke up and washed my face...i creped into Ahmeds old room just as my mother was preparing a bottle to feed Zeyaan.
I took the bottle from her and lifted the baby, wordlessly. My mother looked surprised but she didn't say anything. I sat with Zeyaan as he nestled against me his crying immediately stopped as I placed the bottle at his little rosebud lips.
His eyes were the exact same colour that Imraan's had been, I realized as Zeyaan looked up at me. His eyes never left my face as he drank his feed in my arms.
Before I could even burp him, he softly tucked into the nook of my arm and fell asleep.
I looked up to were mummy had been standing, watching us...only to realize she had slowly left without me noticing.
I carried my baby son to the bed and laid down next to him. I glanced at Zehrah sleeping in the cot next to the bed and I fell asleep.
I woke up from the first restfull sleep since the accident. I gazed at my two perfect little babies and realized that, that moment...that single moment, was the most peaceful one, I had had, in weeks.
It was almost perfect....almost, but not quite.
this sadness will always hang at the edge some where...but it doesn't have to consume me. It tinges my life and thoughts, but it cannot cripple me.
I am no longer Imraan's wife...but I am Zehrah and Zeyaans mother.
Imraan is no longer here...but I am!
I am all that they have...and I owe it to them to be strong. I owe it to Imraan, to be the best that I can be.
Who else would be able to tell them what an amazing man their father was?
Was...were...had been.
All we have left, are memories.
Slowly the weeks were ticking by and life was going on for everybody else...
For everybody else except me!
I submerged myself in tilawaat and zikr...it was the only solace for my broken heart.
It was all I could now do for Imraan.
I felt nothing about life or the world, I barely knew what day it was and I certainly wasn't aware of the passing of time.
But, alas...time waits for no man.
Shireen came to visit, amongst the sea of other visitors, her visit stuck out.
Most people who came, asked how I am awkwardly..they mumbled kind words and duas and then they felt lost looking at me, I didn't blame them...even I was lost. Most people usually turned to mummy or dilnaas or sabera, whoever else was there...they usually spoke about me in stage whispers, as if I wasn't there.
"Kaam che? Shame man...she's eating ne hando?bechari...whoo kaari?"
I usually just shut it out and continue my ibbadaat, my essale sawaab.
The more I turned to Allah, the better I felt. I was doing something worthwhile for Imraan...i was doing all I could do!
Shireens visit was different, after the awkwardness, she burst forth with news, to exciting to contain...she was pregnant again!
Her happiness and excitement was evident as she gushed about this and that. She didn't seem to mind my lack of response nor did she notice my growing anger.
After she left I was reeling. How dare she! She was cruel and heartless!!! Here I was, a widow before 30...with two fatherless children and all she cared about was herself! I didn't need a reminder how perfect everybody else life was! I was so angry, I cried hot angry tears into my pillow.
Emotions gushed out of me from deep within my soul. I begged Allah to fill my heart with sukoon. I couldn't take this pain anymore.
Once I had calmed down I could think straight and I realized how wrong I was. Shireen had every right to be happy...every right to enjoy her good fortune...every right to bask in the glow of her pregnancy. What right did I have to wish her less joy?
Death had left my children fatherless but my well of self pity was leaving them motherless!
Nobody knows better than me, how short life is...perfect can be snatched away in a minute. Happiness can turn to sadness, in only a second...
I lost my husband but I shouldn't be robbing my babies of a mother too.
I woke up and washed my face...i creped into Ahmeds old room just as my mother was preparing a bottle to feed Zeyaan.
I took the bottle from her and lifted the baby, wordlessly. My mother looked surprised but she didn't say anything. I sat with Zeyaan as he nestled against me his crying immediately stopped as I placed the bottle at his little rosebud lips.
His eyes were the exact same colour that Imraan's had been, I realized as Zeyaan looked up at me. His eyes never left my face as he drank his feed in my arms.
Before I could even burp him, he softly tucked into the nook of my arm and fell asleep.
I looked up to were mummy had been standing, watching us...only to realize she had slowly left without me noticing.
I carried my baby son to the bed and laid down next to him. I glanced at Zehrah sleeping in the cot next to the bed and I fell asleep.
I woke up from the first restfull sleep since the accident. I gazed at my two perfect little babies and realized that, that moment...that single moment, was the most peaceful one, I had had, in weeks.
It was almost perfect....almost, but not quite.
this sadness will always hang at the edge some where...but it doesn't have to consume me. It tinges my life and thoughts, but it cannot cripple me.
I am no longer Imraan's wife...but I am Zehrah and Zeyaans mother.
Imraan is no longer here...but I am!
I am all that they have...and I owe it to them to be strong. I owe it to Imraan, to be the best that I can be.
Who else would be able to tell them what an amazing man their father was?
Was...were...had been.
All we have left, are memories.
Sunday 11 January 2015
Part 65: The darkness continued
The hardest days of my life filled my world with a permanent sadness.
I went from young bride, to young mother, to young widow...in the blink of an eye.
I was spared the identification of the mayyit as Imraan's family took care of such arrangements. I still can't believe I am in Iddaat.
I feel like it must just be a bad dream. One I will wake up from to see Imraan smiling at me like he was watching me sleep.
At night I reach for him and when I feel an empty space for a minute I think he must be in PMB...but only for a sleepy minute before reality rushes to the surface and I wake up screaming.
I could hear the whispers at the funeral, as people watched me weep. Some weeped with me but far more gossiped.
"Tragedy...poor thing...Joowan pooiri...whoo karai? Allah paak! "
People were baffled, confused, curious...
I was distraught.
The actual mayyit was a blurr, I felt like it was an out of body experience. The reality of it hit me as they lifted the janaaza to take it away. I don't remember much but I know that I was held back by mighty forces as I tried to break free. Every part of my being aches for my beloved husband. A part of me truly died the day Allah called him home.
My mind knows taqdeer and mauth.I know that none of us are ment live forever but you get married and dream of growing old. You don't think that life really is that short.
Your mind knows so much, but your heart feels none of it. My heart is a heavy stone, it bleeds and weeps. It is truly broken.
I cry every waking moment, when sleep does come, its no escape. I dream only of my Imraan and even in slumber my conscious mind intrudes and reminds me of the nightmare that is now my reality.
I wish I could just sleep undisturbed, forever. Coz when I sleep, I dream...and in my dreams, Imraan is alive. But, when reality dawns...i can't hold it together. Not even for my precious children.
Everybody keeps saying I need to be strong for them, but I can't. Looking at them breaks my heart. They are a reminder of everything we have lost.
Imraan's mother was hysterical after the mayyit. She blames me for his passing, I did nothing to change her mind.
They came today with a ton of paper work for me to sign. I barely read it as I penned away wherever Bilal asked me to. They said it was about the accident and car but I couldn't careless. I didn't want to think of any of it, I don't care about insurance or claims.. It won't change anything and won't bring my husband back. I definitely don't want to think of the accident.
Luqmaan was furious that they made me sign documentation, without him present. But, i really don't want to be bothered about any legal issues.
Right now mummy is taking care of the twins mostly. I just don't have the energy right now.
I just want to be left alone.
I went from young bride, to young mother, to young widow...in the blink of an eye.
I was spared the identification of the mayyit as Imraan's family took care of such arrangements. I still can't believe I am in Iddaat.
I feel like it must just be a bad dream. One I will wake up from to see Imraan smiling at me like he was watching me sleep.
At night I reach for him and when I feel an empty space for a minute I think he must be in PMB...but only for a sleepy minute before reality rushes to the surface and I wake up screaming.
I could hear the whispers at the funeral, as people watched me weep. Some weeped with me but far more gossiped.
"Tragedy...poor thing...Joowan pooiri...whoo karai? Allah paak! "
People were baffled, confused, curious...
I was distraught.
The actual mayyit was a blurr, I felt like it was an out of body experience. The reality of it hit me as they lifted the janaaza to take it away. I don't remember much but I know that I was held back by mighty forces as I tried to break free. Every part of my being aches for my beloved husband. A part of me truly died the day Allah called him home.
My mind knows taqdeer and mauth.I know that none of us are ment live forever but you get married and dream of growing old. You don't think that life really is that short.
Your mind knows so much, but your heart feels none of it. My heart is a heavy stone, it bleeds and weeps. It is truly broken.
I cry every waking moment, when sleep does come, its no escape. I dream only of my Imraan and even in slumber my conscious mind intrudes and reminds me of the nightmare that is now my reality.
I wish I could just sleep undisturbed, forever. Coz when I sleep, I dream...and in my dreams, Imraan is alive. But, when reality dawns...i can't hold it together. Not even for my precious children.
Everybody keeps saying I need to be strong for them, but I can't. Looking at them breaks my heart. They are a reminder of everything we have lost.
Imraan's mother was hysterical after the mayyit. She blames me for his passing, I did nothing to change her mind.
They came today with a ton of paper work for me to sign. I barely read it as I penned away wherever Bilal asked me to. They said it was about the accident and car but I couldn't careless. I didn't want to think of any of it, I don't care about insurance or claims.. It won't change anything and won't bring my husband back. I definitely don't want to think of the accident.
Luqmaan was furious that they made me sign documentation, without him present. But, i really don't want to be bothered about any legal issues.
Right now mummy is taking care of the twins mostly. I just don't have the energy right now.
I just want to be left alone.
Sunday 4 January 2015
Part 64: The darkest day
My heart froze in fear for a second but then I breathed a sigh of relief as I recognized Luqmaans car.
"Hey Tima!", Sabera greeted me as she came in.
"Just need to grab my jacket, didn't pack it and the evenings at the beach get so cold!", she said.
I just hmmmed as I tried to crane my neck to try and see down the road. I was half glad to see Luqmaan and Sabera, being alone was giving me an eerie feeling that I couldn't shake! I wish Imraan would get her already.
Luqmaan sat quietly on the armrest and stared at the floor awkwardly. Shy or not, I was glad for his presence right now.
"Why don't you'll read Magrib here", I said to him, hoping to extend their stay at least until Imraan gets here.
Erm, I think we'll make it back to the hotel, no problem. , Luqmaan replied shyly.
I heard the sound of a car, I just hope this is Imraan now.
But as the car turned into our driveway, the flashing blue lights reflected off every wall and filled the house.
No! No no no! There must be a mistake, no....i felt my world literally fall apart at that moment!
Luqmaan had stood up and was already heading to the door, but he stopped and looked at me confused. I hadn't realized that I had shouted No! Out aloud. I couldn't explain...the knock on the door took his attention again.
I knew before they spoke...they didn't have to say a word. I couldn't breath...my throat was constricting.
"Good Evening Officers, can I help you?"Luqmaan greeted them so pleasantly.
They asked for me by full name...in that moment, my world changed forever.
The look in their eyes said it all..the pity...the sympathy. They didn't have to speak, I was shaking my head. I don't want to hear it!
"Im sorry ma'am...there has been an accident. Your husband...his gone ma'am. I am so sorry" one officer said.
I fell to the floor. Tears streamed down my face!
Luqmaan looked horrified. "There must be a mistake, sir!", he said angrily! " have you checked your facts before you brought such anguish!", he demanded...furious, unbelieving....not wanting to believe.
But I knew, I knew in my heart...it was the truth. "What happen?", I stammered.
"What's going on?", sabera said...she looked between the officers, her new husband and me on the floor.
" a drunk driver...wrong lane...head on.."
The officers were explaining but I couldn't listen. This had to be a dream...an awful nightmare. Where is my father? My,brother? Where's Ahmed! Where's Ahmed? He would fix this.
Ahmed and Imraan always fix everything.
Imraan, my Imraan.
I couldn't believe he was gone! Could it really be true? No no no...
I stood up like a crazy person...i rushed for my phone. The screen saver was a pic of a smiling Imraan sitting with the twins in hospital.
I hit call under his number and pressed the phone to my ears...
It just rang and rang and rang...
The officers and Luqmaan were just staring at me.
Sabera came to take the phone away from me just as the automatic voice said "the subscriber you trying to reach is unavailable at present..."
My blood ran cold...unavailable forever...
I was never going to hear his voice again...smell his scent...be comforted in his embrace!
I had two children to raise alone. Orphans! Two orphans...they will never know their father...or the part of their mother that died with him today.
But even as all these thoughts were running through my mind, still, a part of me couldn't believe it. Maybe there was a mistake.
"Ma'am...i think its best you come with us to identify the body, my colleagues already informed the other person on the ICE card."
ICE?
Oh! Incase of emergency!!! His father...Imraans father.
I couldn't think anymore, I couldn't breath... I just felt lost.
"Hey Tima!", Sabera greeted me as she came in.
"Just need to grab my jacket, didn't pack it and the evenings at the beach get so cold!", she said.
I just hmmmed as I tried to crane my neck to try and see down the road. I was half glad to see Luqmaan and Sabera, being alone was giving me an eerie feeling that I couldn't shake! I wish Imraan would get her already.
Luqmaan sat quietly on the armrest and stared at the floor awkwardly. Shy or not, I was glad for his presence right now.
"Why don't you'll read Magrib here", I said to him, hoping to extend their stay at least until Imraan gets here.
Erm, I think we'll make it back to the hotel, no problem. , Luqmaan replied shyly.
I heard the sound of a car, I just hope this is Imraan now.
But as the car turned into our driveway, the flashing blue lights reflected off every wall and filled the house.
No! No no no! There must be a mistake, no....i felt my world literally fall apart at that moment!
Luqmaan had stood up and was already heading to the door, but he stopped and looked at me confused. I hadn't realized that I had shouted No! Out aloud. I couldn't explain...the knock on the door took his attention again.
I knew before they spoke...they didn't have to say a word. I couldn't breath...my throat was constricting.
"Good Evening Officers, can I help you?"Luqmaan greeted them so pleasantly.
They asked for me by full name...in that moment, my world changed forever.
The look in their eyes said it all..the pity...the sympathy. They didn't have to speak, I was shaking my head. I don't want to hear it!
"Im sorry ma'am...there has been an accident. Your husband...his gone ma'am. I am so sorry" one officer said.
I fell to the floor. Tears streamed down my face!
Luqmaan looked horrified. "There must be a mistake, sir!", he said angrily! " have you checked your facts before you brought such anguish!", he demanded...furious, unbelieving....not wanting to believe.
But I knew, I knew in my heart...it was the truth. "What happen?", I stammered.
"What's going on?", sabera said...she looked between the officers, her new husband and me on the floor.
" a drunk driver...wrong lane...head on.."
The officers were explaining but I couldn't listen. This had to be a dream...an awful nightmare. Where is my father? My,brother? Where's Ahmed! Where's Ahmed? He would fix this.
Ahmed and Imraan always fix everything.
Imraan, my Imraan.
I couldn't believe he was gone! Could it really be true? No no no...
I stood up like a crazy person...i rushed for my phone. The screen saver was a pic of a smiling Imraan sitting with the twins in hospital.
I hit call under his number and pressed the phone to my ears...
It just rang and rang and rang...
The officers and Luqmaan were just staring at me.
Sabera came to take the phone away from me just as the automatic voice said "the subscriber you trying to reach is unavailable at present..."
My blood ran cold...unavailable forever...
I was never going to hear his voice again...smell his scent...be comforted in his embrace!
I had two children to raise alone. Orphans! Two orphans...they will never know their father...or the part of their mother that died with him today.
But even as all these thoughts were running through my mind, still, a part of me couldn't believe it. Maybe there was a mistake.
"Ma'am...i think its best you come with us to identify the body, my colleagues already informed the other person on the ICE card."
ICE?
Oh! Incase of emergency!!! His father...Imraans father.
I couldn't think anymore, I couldn't breath... I just felt lost.
Saturday 3 January 2015
Part 63: The beginning of the End
sat in the lounge of my parents home as I had many, many times before. I kept looking out of the window even though I knew there was nothing new to see...
It's funny how you can keep looking out when you waiting for somebody, you know they not there yet, but you keep checking, just to be sure.
I was waiting for Imraan. I would hear him turn into the drive before I see the car, but o can't stop looking out.
Imraan's doing this drive for the last time. He sounded so happy on the phone when he called me a few minutes ago. He was passing hibberdene. He was coming to fetch me. Tonight we would go to visit our babies and tomorrow we will go to fetch them!
Yes...thats right!
Tomorrow, we taking Zehraah and Zeyaan home. The news has thrilled us to the core. Tomorrow is going to feel,like the first day of the rest of our lives.
Imraan couldn't contain himself over the phone, "Babe, I love you so much...i love our babies so much. I want nothing more than to take your'll home! "
I smiled to myself now, replaying his words. These last few months have been so hard! I shook my head to clear my thoughts and took a deep breath, no sad thoughts tonight!
I couldn't shake out the funny feeling in my tummy ever since Imraan phoned. I was waiting almost anxiously for him to come. He was taking ages!
It would be Magrib soon...i need to put the lights on, I thought.
As I stood up, I checked the time on my phone again. 30minutes since Imraan phoned! What was taking him so long.
A pair of headlights flashes across the yard and I sighed deeply as the sound of the engine reached my ears. Finally!
My parents were gone to visit their friends down the road for supper and I was alone. I rushed to open the door as the car engine shut off outside. When I heard two doors closing, I realized it could not be Imraan.
...too late, I had already flung the front door open.
It's funny how you can keep looking out when you waiting for somebody, you know they not there yet, but you keep checking, just to be sure.
I was waiting for Imraan. I would hear him turn into the drive before I see the car, but o can't stop looking out.
Imraan's doing this drive for the last time. He sounded so happy on the phone when he called me a few minutes ago. He was passing hibberdene. He was coming to fetch me. Tonight we would go to visit our babies and tomorrow we will go to fetch them!
Yes...thats right!
Tomorrow, we taking Zehraah and Zeyaan home. The news has thrilled us to the core. Tomorrow is going to feel,like the first day of the rest of our lives.
Imraan couldn't contain himself over the phone, "Babe, I love you so much...i love our babies so much. I want nothing more than to take your'll home! "
I smiled to myself now, replaying his words. These last few months have been so hard! I shook my head to clear my thoughts and took a deep breath, no sad thoughts tonight!
I couldn't shake out the funny feeling in my tummy ever since Imraan phoned. I was waiting almost anxiously for him to come. He was taking ages!
It would be Magrib soon...i need to put the lights on, I thought.
As I stood up, I checked the time on my phone again. 30minutes since Imraan phoned! What was taking him so long.
A pair of headlights flashes across the yard and I sighed deeply as the sound of the engine reached my ears. Finally!
My parents were gone to visit their friends down the road for supper and I was alone. I rushed to open the door as the car engine shut off outside. When I heard two doors closing, I realized it could not be Imraan.
...too late, I had already flung the front door open.
Friday 2 January 2015
Part 62:Zehraah and Zeyaan
I was wheeled to the NiCU to meet my precious babies.
Zehraah and Zeyaan
They are beautiful, sweet and so tiny.
The minute I saw them I fell in love! I also knew that they will make it, I just knew.
My father was okay. He had suffered a heart attack but for the most part he was fine.
I was released from hospital before the twins. I stayed in Port Shepstone and Ahmed or Sabera drove me to and from the hospital almost daily.
Imraan drove back and forth between Martizburg and Port Shepstone as often as he could manage. Some days he drove from PMB to Sheppie straight from work at 4, he would get to us at 7-8 pm and leave again after midnight, sleep in durban and drive to work in the morning. sometimes he would drive back to PMB after fajr to make it in time for work.It was exhausting. The only thing that made it easier was seeing how well our babies were doing.
We dreamed of taking them home and raising them. The last two months have been horrible. Imraan looks like a different person. He has lost so much weight, I can cry when I see him.
My mother has been running between me and my father as she nursed us both back to full strength.
I am doing alot better now. I can't wait to start our family life. It's all Imraan and I can talk about. The twins getting out of hospital and the four of us going home. The traveling is really hard on him too.
Sabera and Luqmaan are having a small nikkah this Friday after Jumuah and then the both families are hosting a joint Walima Lunch. Sabera is moving to PMB!!!
I'm so thrilled because she agreed to come home for a few hours each day to help me out with the twins.
Next week our babies will be ready to come home. Imraan is like a changed man already.
I can't wait!
Zehraah and Zeyaan
They are beautiful, sweet and so tiny.
The minute I saw them I fell in love! I also knew that they will make it, I just knew.
My father was okay. He had suffered a heart attack but for the most part he was fine.
I was released from hospital before the twins. I stayed in Port Shepstone and Ahmed or Sabera drove me to and from the hospital almost daily.
Imraan drove back and forth between Martizburg and Port Shepstone as often as he could manage. Some days he drove from PMB to Sheppie straight from work at 4, he would get to us at 7-8 pm and leave again after midnight, sleep in durban and drive to work in the morning. sometimes he would drive back to PMB after fajr to make it in time for work.It was exhausting. The only thing that made it easier was seeing how well our babies were doing.
We dreamed of taking them home and raising them. The last two months have been horrible. Imraan looks like a different person. He has lost so much weight, I can cry when I see him.
My mother has been running between me and my father as she nursed us both back to full strength.
I am doing alot better now. I can't wait to start our family life. It's all Imraan and I can talk about. The twins getting out of hospital and the four of us going home. The traveling is really hard on him too.
Sabera and Luqmaan are having a small nikkah this Friday after Jumuah and then the both families are hosting a joint Walima Lunch. Sabera is moving to PMB!!!
I'm so thrilled because she agreed to come home for a few hours each day to help me out with the twins.
Next week our babies will be ready to come home. Imraan is like a changed man already.
I can't wait!
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