Epilogue: Surprise!!!!;

Today is my birthday, I turn 16th. Its not that special, since i share my birthday with another human that lives in my house! but, Today, my mother gave me the best gift I could have ever asked for...a glimpse into my past...her past...the past.

For 16 years I have asked my mother to tell me about my father, his family, her family.
I wanted to know who I was and where I belong, I wanted some history.

My mother always avoided the topic. The only family I really remember growing up was my granny, I called her Nani, she was my mothers mother.
 For most of my childhood Nani use to visit every month for one weekend, she was amazing. She brought us gifts and told me stories' about my Nana and about my mother when she was young.
I looked forward to Nanis visits more than anything else.

My mother calls me Imirani. My brother and I live a quiet life in a small town. We are twins, but we look nothing alike! We different on the inside too. He is very outgoing, crazy and ready to take on the world. I am more book-smart and domestic, if you can call it that.

this town is 10 years behind time, even for me! I rather be overseas to visit my Kala in London- we only went once. My mothers brother and his wife live in Australia, they Skype often, but I don't know them at all.

we lived this isolated life all these years,my mother teachers at the local primary school and she works so hard. She has been the deputy principal for 10 years.

Now, i feel like everything is going to change ... We are going to a town 3hours away-Pietermaritizburg.

I think that is why my mother gave me access to her diary, this place has something to do with the past.

....


I stayed up all night reading my mothers old online diary, I cried...i laughed, I am amazed and in awe...

my mother has been incredibly strong, the last post in her diary, has me reeling.

------------------------

"I finally took over the care of my precious children and in this kidmaat I find solace. If only Imraan's mother could find her peace.

my iddaat is coming to an end, I want to go home and stand on my own two feet. Imraan's mother is threatening to lock down our house, she claims it is part of his estate. She still blames me for his death...she wants me to feel what she feels, as if i dont already...

She wants me to give her Zeyaan. I can't bear the thought of giving up my child...these children are all I have.

I wish I could take my babies and just disappear, some how just slip under the Rader.

I dreamt of Imraan again...he was in a beautiful garden and I was trying to run towards him...but I couldn't reach him...he was saying something to me...i stopped running and tried to listen...i woke up in a cold sweat.

"go...go...don't look back!" "

----------------------------------------

I went to the privacy settings on the blog and changed it to public. It was time for the world to know my mothers story.

at the first signs of day break, I crept into my mothers room. I found her still on her musallah. I hugged her as we cried together. Our tears washing away years of fear and pain.

"She is gone?", I asked my mother.

"No, she is very ill...she phoned to apologies after all these years...she wants to give me the house. I think she wants to see you both too" My mother said.

My mother was talking about my fathers mother, the person who would have been my Dadi...the person who spewed lies and accusations against my mother, tricked her into signing away her rights and shares from her marriage to my father. A women who ignored my mothers pain 16years ago and a women who tried to split our family further.

yet, my mother spoke with complete peace. She showed no anger or bitterness.

everything made sense now, why we lived such a quiet life, so isolated. Why we hardly knew any family.

"let's go tell Zeyaan...", I said.

my mother started laughing. "Oh, imirani...you remind me so much of your father!" she said with eyes filled with memories. " I don't think your brother will be happy to be awoken at this hour! Lets wait till breakfast atleast", she said.

" no this is important!!!!", I insisted as I hopped off to his room.

my name is Zehrah Imirani...and today, my family is going home!