Destination Mini Series: Part1- Touchdown Malawi

Imraan and I landed shortly after midday yesterday in Lilongwe, Malawi. Saleema had a driver waiting for us thankfully.

It was almost a 45 minute drive from the airport to the hotel and there wasn't much to see except countryside and dust.

I gazed out of the window for awhile as Imraan made conversation with the driver, I found myself absent mindedly playing with the bracelet on my left wrist.

I lifted it up and studied it in the bright sunshine as the land cruiser swerved one way , then another to avoid potholes and other obstacles. Shew, I should tell him I'm pregnant!!

The bracelet was Imraan's gift to me for our anniversary, it was a specially crafted 24k charm bracelet that had two charms already and place for quite a few more.

The first charm was a little heart engraved with our names on each side, for our love and marriage, Imraan had explained.

The second was a number 1 with a little square diamond at the top, for our 1st anniversary, Imraan had said.

I had asked him if he planned on giving me a number each year now, but he laughed and said no, he wanted to give me different charms as the occasions presented themselves...like a little foot he had seen with a ruby or sapphire stone as the big toe for a baby boy or girl...and a mini graduation cap for when I complete my masters...i couldn't help but laugh...it was sweet and cute but it was going to end up costing a fortune!
I love it though...

I must have dozed off because Imraan woke me up saying we were at the hotel..i couldn't believe it! I didn't expect to find a hotel like this in Malawi...when Saleema said a 'nice' hotel I thought a decent kind if hut thing with running hot water, not modern 5 star accommodation...wow!
The room was stunning...the view, not so much!

We read zohar and freshened up, we had been invited to Saleemas home for lunch, I couldn't wait to finally meet her.

Once again, I was blown away...her home wasn't what I expected at all! It was modern, classy, tasteful...in stark contrast to the outside world.

As much as I was enjoying all the splendor and grandeur, I was starting to wonder if I would see the 'real' Malawi while here...the affluence of the Indian settlers was rather in your face.

Saleemas home was understandably busy...there were servants rushing to and fore and many people, I was hustled to a pink lounge while Imraan's was led away by a male servant. What seemed to be a Nanny was playing with a few children.

Finally a beautiful girl stepped into the lounge, I recognized her as Saleema from a picture Saleem had shown me, but the picture didn't do her justice. She was slim and very fair with beautiful hazel eyes...a Guji MiL would fall over herself for a DiL like this, except Saleema was not Surti, in the so called 'castings', she was Memon.

She smiled warmly as I rose from my seat and rushed forward to hug me in welcome. She was so friendly...

When she spoke, her voice was soft and low, her accent a cute mix of almost Indian but not quiet...like everything else, she too, was a contrast.

I soon met her mum, who looked as if she stepped out of India in a simple panjabi and orni drapped elegantly. This was a culture so different from ours, yet we are all descendents of the same country.

Lunch was delicious, and quiet a feast...i was lost in the chattery around me, a mixture of Memon, English and Chichewa. The workers served the meal.

After lunch we returned to the hotel, Saleema had a hectic week planned for us, with pre wedding functions and touring...

I was so glad that Imraan also seemed eager to see the real Malawi.

today we did some local sight seeing, there wasn't much to see...Lilongwe might be the capital city but it isn't much.

 I decided to catch up on some zzzzz's while Imraan went to catch up with Saleem, he and most of his family were staying at the same hotel, so there is enough South Africans around.

I am looking forward to a party Saleema invited me to tomorrow, some of her friends and family were getting together for some mischief making.

Tonight we had supper at a local Indian restaurant, the food was lovely and there was even a hookah lounge...i was amazed to see so many girls gathered around the pipes, puffing away...

Tomorrow, we have an early start, we visiting another city in Malawi called Blantyre.

This was turning into some trip...i was loving the culture shock!

Oh, but the reception here is so bad, some days a diary entry will have to be sacrificed...

Part 26: Sweet memories and moments still to be

Today I have to put the finishing touches to Imraan's anniversary gift. It took me forever to figure out what to give him.

I know there are old English sayings about first anniversaries being paper and modern sayings about giving clocks...

Some people would say that following these traditions are haraam...
Others would say that its all about the intentions behind everything...

My MiL says its all a paaya wasting scheme...

I just think that celebrating the anniversary of the day you made Nikaah is a wonderful thing. Nikkah is such a huge act of Ibaadah, its the completion of half your deen. In the current time, with divorce so rife, every year together is definitely worth celebrating, besides, day to day, we get so caught up in everyday life that we forget to tell our partners how much we do value them.

 having a day to celebrate each other, is special and perfect for al the right reasons.

I know Imraan's taking me out for lunch. he wanted to know if I don't mind going for lunch instead of supper because we need an early night ahead of our traveling on Sunday.

I am cool with that, I get very tired even though I'm so early in my pregnancy. Growing two babies is hard work.

I decided to do a light breakfast in bed for Imraan...his favourite breakfast menu on a tray in bed, should start the day just right.

For his gift, I really struggled. I wanted something meaningful...something that not only showed my appreciation for our (short) past but also all the hope for our future together.

 It took me awhile, but I think I came up with  gift Imraan would definitely 'get' and appreciate.

I purchased a black horizontal panel frame that could hold 6 pictures.
 I found a picture on my phone of our hands when he put the engagement ring for me, I edited the picture and added the words "our journey began..." at the top.

Next I took a picture from our walima day, it was a close up of a rose Imraan had given me, the picture showed of our wedding rings, I added text below "...as sweet as the fragrance of a rose."

For the third picture i choose an image off the net of a couples hands with two little hands resting in theirs, i faded it into a background image and wrote over it "our journey continues with a sweet promise"

For the next two frames I made two photo size text boxes saying " I look forward to making...", "...many more memories of special moments..."

For the last picture I faded an image of two old wrinkled hands clasped together, I wrote over them "as we grow old together."

After I printed it, I was quiet pleased with the final effect...it was perfect, past, present and future, Insha'Allah.

I also got Imraan a silver branded watch I saw him admire, it was very elegant and masculine at the same time, it had no numbers or date on the face, just the hands...i added a little card to say "for the hours, minutes and seconds we spend that can't be measured...because they simply fill my heart with love."

I am all set for tomorrow...i can't believe its been a year! I made a cute BBM display pic to put up tomorrow as I daydreamed....

I am all set for tomorrow!

unfortunately, looking at the empty suitcases waiting to be packed, I can't say I'm ready for Sunday!

Leme get to it, then...

Part 25: The Calm after the Storm

The days following Dadis departure saw a kind of hush falling over the household. My MiL was filled with a mixture of relief and shame I think. Her subdued personality was a welcome relief for me in a way.

After Saturday mornings damaal, I almost forgot about Imraam's news, but we finally got a chance to talk. He explained that the firm was opening a smaller branch in KZN and he was the top consideration to head the office and team.

His eyes sparkled with excitement as he told me that such an offer was a huge deal at any stage but to be considered this early in your career for such a responsibility was almost unheard off.

All the details were still abit sketchy, but they wanted to let him in on the plans early so he could be part of the planing process.

I am just so so proud of him, I know it would mean longer hours and even more dedication but this is the time for us to work and set up our lives.

I was thrilled for him, Alhumdulliah.

He told me the next few weeks were going to be really hectic and even though his leave had been approved for our trip to Malawi, he was really having second thoughts now.

But, eventually we decided to go. if he took this promotion and with the babies on the way, it might be our last chance for a holiday for a while yet.

I spent most of the week planing and organizing a baby shower for Nasreen. The only upside to my tardiness was that it was truly going to be a surprise shower, she wouldn't see this one coming at all!

Instead of formal invites, I got a digital invite made by Trendy Invites, I found them on facebook and they made the cutest invite to match my candy stripe theme. So I just BMM'd and emailed that out to all our cousins and Nasreen's friends and family. Luckily Sabera was helping me quiet abit and Dilnaas offered to sort out all the food stuff from her side, Dilnaas and Nasreen got along surprisingly well...i never would have thought.

So there's just a few things left to do before we fly out on Sunday. Our flight from King Shaka International was very early in the morning and we had a brief stop over at OR Tambo before boarding a flight to Malawi.

I am really looking forward to this trip, I can't wait to meet Saleema and see some of the places she had on an itinerary for us.

The weekend after we get back, we'll be hosting Nasreen's Baby shower at Dilnaas's Durban holiday flat (lol) , hope Nas stays pregnant till then.

Saturday is a very important day for Imraan and I, its going to be .... exactly one year since we married, Alhumdulliah! I can't wait!

Part 14: Back to the present

I've spent so much time recently, thinking of the past and how Imraan and I met and our wedding. I'm really looking forward to our first wedding anniversary. I really need to find Imraan a awesome, memorable gift. We also had our up coming trip to Malawi for Saleems wedding, to finalize.

I am really looking forward to that too. Malawi is not a place i ever intended to visit, if it wasn't for Saleems wedding I doubt Imraan and I would have even considered it. But Saleem is Imraan's best friend and its so close to our anniversary, we would have went away somewhere anyway.

I have been chatting to Saleema, Saleems fiancee for awhile now. (yes, Saleem and Saleema...too cute hey!) I was so surprised that there are Indians in Malawi, for some reason I never thought of that, so when Imraan told me that Saleems getting engaged to a girl from Malawi,I had thought...well, I'm too embarrassed to admit, even in my diary, what the snob in me, had thought.

Turns out Saleema is more Indian than Il ever be! She and her brothers were actually born in India but her family moved to Malawi when she was only a few months old.

From chatting to her I learned that Malawi has a relatively large community of Indian Muslims, restaurants and even hotels. She already had an itinerary planned for our visit, I couldn't wait to go and to meet her.

I was really looking forward to having some company too, usually when Imraan's friends go out, for fishing weekends or evening sports...I stay at home. I spend the time watching TV, catching up with series or playing with Talha or Tariq so Sumaya can have a break.

Very rarely do I make plans with my own friends or Nasreen that co-ordinate with Imraan's plans. Sometimes I visited my Kala or Mamagee during that time.

While I had met most of the other wives on different occasions, I only spent time with them when we attended weddings of  one of the other guys in the group.
Mainly because whenever the husbands made spur of the minute plans, the wives used it as extra time to visit their own families', which I would have done too, but my parents don't live 'around the corner' or 'down the road'. 

Saleema would be in the same boat as me and now I'd have the company to join in on some of the spur of the moment events, and go watch some of their games.

When Imraan and his friends plan longer outings for fishing over the holiday season, I always go home for that time...i don't know what Saleema will do or if Saleem would still go, leaving her alone.

I can't imagine what it must be like to marry and move to a whole new country. Saleemas brother married a South African girl from Johannesburg, who is Saleems first cousin, Saleema told me that Haseena is having a very hard time adapting to the different lifestyle. Malawi is a far cry from the fast-past life she was use to in Johannesburg. She also misses her family alot and feels isolated due to language differences, she is trying to adapt. Saleema worries that Haseena would feel more alone after Saleema herself marries.

I went back to work after Eid and I'm so glad I have a job that allows me flexibility...even though the children thrive on routine, at this point of the year they settle down well enough to interchange activities. 
I work mostly with those with birth defects and speech and hearing difficulties so changes to schedules doesn't cause any major setbacks.

However, those teachers who work with the Autistic children have much more rigid timetables as its part of their development needs. It takes alot of experience and patience to work within this sphere and I hope to enter that area once I complete my Honours program.

Imraan's Dadi has extend her visit with us and my MiL seems to be at her wits-end now. I get the feeling she is just waiting for a chance to politely tell her MiL it is time to go...

I wonder what this weekend has in store...

Part 6- Chicken Soup with a helping of Suspicion

The weekend passed in almost a blur, I spent most of it sick and in bed. This flu really got me messed up. Every time I thought I was feeling better and tried to get up, the nausea and vomiting would return. To top it all of, I was cranky and moody and bloated too, my period was also due.

My mother was very worried, I had to insist that she doesn't need to come from Port Shepstone to see me. Luckily my father was already sitting for Itiqaaf and she also needed to be home to prepare the supper basket for him so my brother could take it after Magrib.

Imraan was worse than my mother, he was insisting I go to the doctor, but really I hate tablets especially antibiotics so it would just be a waste. I wouldn't take them anyway. I'm very stubborn when I want to be.

To pacify everybody I called work and asked for 2 days off, I must have sounded very bad because the secretary didn't even try to guilt trip me...in a small school like ours, they can't afford to let the children catch anything. Germs spread like wildfire! That's probably why I got sick so fast, all the snotty noses and grubby fingers all day, but shame, I love my job. I hope they get somebody nice to sit with my kids.

My MiL has surprised me beyond measure, she and Sumaya have been up to my room so often to check in with me and take care of me. My MiL even brings me tea and soup in bed. Not 'cup-a-soup' too, real chicken invalid soup from Indian Delights!
 She has been forcing me to eat and drink a little every few hours, "You need the taarkit1 Fatima, thoo boor paatri che2"
My MiL has been so caring I'm actually suspicious, after the steak fiasco last week, I didn't expect this!
She's been in a bit of a panic mode this weekend too, cleaning every inch and square inch of the entire house, poor Tumi and Thembi must be finished! 

This week Imraan's Dadi will be coming to stay, she'll be here till after Eid. Its fun to watch my MiL turn into a stressed DiL for a little while, but I know from the last visit Dadi spent here, the minute Dadi around my MiLs big girl champals3 come back on and she tackles us with new energy. Okay,maybe I exaggerate a little...

I can't believe that we days away from Eid already, I still have a few Paras left to finish my Quraan Khataam. I also have so many recipes I want to try for Eid.

I'm a bit nervous and excited for this Eid, it is my first Eid married, so it's the first one Imraan and I will be spending together. 
My cousin Nasreen told me that on her first Eid married last year, all the old aunties kept touching her tummy asking when she's bringing one Baba and coming...Nasreen's very mischievous, she had gotten married just a month before Ramadaan so she kept telling them, "Oh, still 5 more months before my due date!"
I laughed myself silly when she described the look on their faces when they did the Math...it helped that she's a bit on the chubby side too, plus she had worn an Abayaa for Eid!
Neither less to say, her MiL didn't see the funny side to that story, she was fuming the next day after fielding off calls of 'concern' all morning...which was  like a double win for Nasreen, ofcorse.

This Eid falls exactly a month before my first wedding anniversary and when we got married, Imraan and I agreed to start talking about having a family once we pass the one year mark...

Looks like alot of 'first' on the horizon, waiting for me...

Glossary:

1. strenght
2. you very thin
3. sandals