Part 66: Emerging...

I felt like I was struggling beneath the surface, drowning...but not wanting to emerge.

Slowly the weeks were ticking by and life was going on for everybody else...
For everybody else except me!

I submerged myself in tilawaat and zikr...it was the only solace for my broken heart.

It was all I could now do for Imraan.

I felt nothing about life or the world, I barely knew what day it was and I certainly wasn't aware of the passing of time.

But, alas...time waits for no man.

Shireen came to visit, amongst the sea of other visitors, her visit stuck out.

Most people who came, asked how I am awkwardly..they mumbled kind words and duas and then they felt lost looking at me, I didn't blame them...even I was lost. Most people usually turned to mummy or dilnaas or sabera, whoever else was there...they usually spoke about me in stage whispers, as if I wasn't there.

"Kaam che? Shame man...she's eating ne hando?bechari...whoo kaari?"

I usually just shut it out and continue my ibbadaat, my essale sawaab.

The more I turned to Allah, the better I felt. I was doing something worthwhile for Imraan...i was doing all I could do!

Shireens visit was different, after the awkwardness, she burst forth with news, to exciting to contain...she was pregnant again!

Her happiness and excitement was evident as she gushed about this and that. She didn't seem to mind my lack of response nor did she notice my growing anger.

After she left I was reeling. How dare she! She was cruel and heartless!!! Here I was, a widow before 30...with two fatherless children and all she cared about was herself! I didn't need a reminder how perfect everybody else life was! I was so angry, I cried hot angry tears into my pillow.

Emotions gushed out of me from deep within my soul. I begged Allah to fill my heart with sukoon. I couldn't take this pain anymore.

Once I had calmed down I could think straight and I realized how wrong I was. Shireen had every right to be happy...every right to enjoy her good fortune...every right to bask in the glow of her pregnancy. What right did I have to wish her less joy?

Death had left my children fatherless but my well of self pity was leaving them motherless!

Nobody knows better than me, how short life is...perfect can be snatched away in a minute. Happiness can turn to sadness, in only a second...

I lost my husband but I shouldn't be robbing my babies of a mother too.

I woke up and washed my face...i creped into Ahmeds old room just as my mother was preparing a bottle to feed Zeyaan.

I took the bottle from her and lifted the baby, wordlessly. My mother looked surprised but she didn't say anything. I sat with Zeyaan as he nestled against me his crying immediately stopped as I placed the bottle at his little rosebud lips.

His eyes were the exact same colour that Imraan's had been, I realized as Zeyaan looked up at me. His eyes never left my face as he drank his feed in my arms.

Before I could even burp him, he softly tucked into the nook of my arm and fell asleep.

I looked up to were mummy had been standing, watching us...only to realize she had slowly left without me noticing.

I carried my baby son to the bed and laid down next to him. I glanced at Zehrah sleeping in the cot next to the bed and I fell asleep.

I woke up from the first restfull sleep since the accident. I gazed at my two perfect little babies and  realized that, that moment...that single moment, was the most peaceful one, I had had, in weeks.

It was almost perfect....almost, but not quite.

this sadness will always hang at the edge some where...but it doesn't have to consume me. It tinges my life and thoughts, but it cannot cripple me.

I am no longer Imraan's wife...but I am Zehrah and Zeyaans mother.
Imraan is no longer here...but I am!

I am all that they have...and I owe it to them to be strong. I owe it to Imraan, to be the best that I can be.

Who else would be able to tell them what an amazing man their father was?
Was...were...had been.
All we have left, are memories.

Part 42: babies and birth plans

Meeting Nasreen's little Baba on Friday was so lovely, he was tiny and too precious. Small eyes, little nose, a tiny rosebud mouth, wrinkled fingers...aww and the smell! That sweet sweet newborn smell, ahhh.

Imraan ofcorse didn't leave his Guji mentality in the car park, as soon he looked at baby Nabeel, he started with the "He looks just like...".

Nasreen wasn't hearing any of it, "My son looks just like himself, nobody else...dont project your speculation on to him."

...shew! I forget sometimes how blunt Nasreen can be.

Imraan wasn't phased though...he was use to it, his sister Ayesha was alot like Nasreen in that regard.

We had a lovely visit with Nasreen but once we got to the car Imraan asked me why we were the only visitors their...i had to explain to him that Nasreen only started telling people she had a baby now, and we were amongst the first few to know...he was beyond shocked!

She wanted her labour and delivery to be a private affair, her mum and MiL will only meet the baby this evening and they can start telling the rest of the family but Nasreen won't be accepting visitors for the next two weeks.

Imraan was having a hard time swallowing all this...

"What she going to do if people come to visit by her mums place?, there won't be nurses to keep them away!", Imraan said

" she's not going by her mum, she's going home, she has a doula who will come to show her how to bath her baby etc...her mum is considered a visitor too...", I explained

Imraan was blown away, " I get no visitors, kind off...but not even her mother!!!"

Lol, how do you explain to Imraan, Nasreen's crazy philosophies'...

" She wants her post delivery period to be about their new little family, just her, Muhammad and baby. she doesn't want disruptions, inconvenience and irritation...she says that it would be a nightmare dealing with visitors when you should be bonding with the baby..." I tried to explain.

"she also doesn't want her mum or MiL because they will want to help by taking over the baby, she doesn't need that, she needs help running errands and doing house work. the baby must be her only job...something about other peoples scents and perfumes interfering with establishing breastfeeding."

I could see Imraan being completely lost...

" All I remember is that when Ayesha had her baby she came to stay for over a month, I was in matric and the house was crazy!", Imraan said

" There was alot of people around and my mother was so busy seeing to Ayesha, plus the baby, plus the visitors...Mummy really got tired."

" Ayesha's son use to cry so much, all the time...he was always hungry I think."

" Thank goodness when she had the second fellow, I was staying on campus! Maybe Nasreen has a point!", Imraan said with a laugh.

I suddenly started thinking about what kind off boundaries I want to set for when I have my babies...

That made me realize I really needed to think about it, it was going to be a logistical nightmare!

I will be living in PMB by then, our hospital was in Durban. If I wanted to do traditional Huwawar Il have to go to Sheppy, traveling for an hour with two small newborns?...shew!

Imraan must have read my mind..." don't worry, lets move first then we can make a birth plan"

I burst out laughing...a birth plan is for the labour I told him!

He smiled, " Lucky you booked us in for those prenatal classes, then"

I decided he was right, Il wait for the classes and then make informed decisions that would suit our needs.

When we got home, a familiar car was parked in the driveway...one we hadn't seen in awhile but!

" Ayesha's here!", Imraan said excitedly.

Imraan's sister barely visits nowdays, which is too bad, she such a riot! I couldn't wait to hear all her funny stories'...

The weekend looked very interesting....and it was!

Part 36: Kiss Me!

I woke up with the most aweful pain in my chest! I couldn't breath, it was so tight. It hurt to take air in, to move, to talk...i started panicking. I thought I was having a heart attack.

I ran into the bathroom to get Imraan's attention. When he saw me double over in pain he almost had a heart attack himself!

He dropped his shaver into the basin and hurried for his phone as I tried to explain to him my symptoms. He poured me a glass of water as he frantically tried to reach my uncle.

I started crying as the pain got worse, it was in my chest but I could only think that something is wrong with my babies.

Imraan gave up on mamagee after my maamee said his still in the shower and wanted to take a message. Imraan tried the Gyni, while he threw on some clothes. The Gyni wasn't in yet, he didn't even wait to explain to the receptionist, he just cut the call and grabbed his keys.

"Lets go baby, Il take you into emergency.", he said.

I didn't even try to protest, the pain was excruciating!

I slipped on an abayaa as Imraan helped me out.

"mummy I'm taking Fatima to the hospital!", he shouted as we went passed the kitchen and hurried towards the door.

I could hear my MiLs frantic, what-why-how, but Imraan didn't slow down, he was practically carrying me.

We just got to the end of the road when my mamagee returned Imraan's call, his wife had already explained to him the symptoms Imraan had described.

"get her gaviscon...", was what my Mamagee said first.

What! He thinks I have heartburn? Is he crazy! My babies are in danger! I could be dying and my uncle wants me to drink antacid! I know what's heartburn, Imraan is a cronic sufferer, this is NOT heartburn!!!!!!!

Imraan pulled off on the side of the road, obviously believing my uncle, he opened the cubby and grabbed some sachets, he tore one and gave me, I didn't know whatelse to do, so I took it and the two more he offered me.
In my head I wanted to scream and smack my husband! I also wanted to find out if my uncle bought his medical degree from 'ok bazaar'.

As I sat there, furious at them, I suddenly realized I was breathing normally again...the pain was fading away...

To late though...Imraan was already pressing the intercom outside my uncles house...

As we walked in, I caught sight of us in their entrance mirror, I burst out laughing...
Imraan was wearing yesterdays gym pants upside down and my purple oversized sleepshirt with glitter writing saying "kiss me". 
His beard was usually so neatly kept, today one cheek was shaved the other had shaving cream!

Omw! I couldn't stop laughing...Imraan looked at me with concern again.

" I take it you feeling better now...heartburn in pregnancy is something else I have been told!", my mamagee said walking in.

My cousin Ibrahim was on his way out, when he saw Imraan he did a double take!

He grabbed Imraan around the neck and said "Nice outfit man!", then he planted a big fat kiss on Imraan's cheek!

" WHAT THE......!!!!!!", Imraan shouted, shoving him away.

"just doing what your shirt says, dude!", Ibrahim laughed all the way to his car!

Imraan turned, looked in the mirror and muttered, 'ill be in the car', he walked out red as a tomatoe!

I thanked my uncle and promised to visit under more appropriate circumstances.

Then I went back to the car and also followed the instructions on my husband shirt...luckily Imraan was over the embarrassment now that he had a jacket on and was laughing as he wiped his face with his gym towel...

"feeling better?", he asked me, as we drove home.

I can't believe how bad the heartburn was...mamagee said something about the babies pushing the acid from my stomach up...

Shew! What a start to a Friday!

Destination Mini Series: Part 2-Girls having fun

Blantyre was hardly a change from this city, just a few more shops and restaurants. It was quiet a drive there and back.

Saleema had invited me for what was  Masti raat...so while Imraan was off with Saleem and his cousins, I was meeting Saleemas friends and family.

These girls were to funny. They had ladies hired to do waxing and threading and massages, I had to tell them I'm pregnant because they were insisting I get a massage and I had read its not good while pregnant...myth or fact, I don't care...im not going to take a chance.

One of Saleemas schools friends read out a letter that Saleema had allegedly wrote describing what she wanted her future husband to look like and be like!there must have been some truth to it because Saleema seemed so embarrassed.

Saleemas SiL and sister played a game, they had each asked Saleem and Saleema 10 questions before the party, they read out the answers to compare what each had said.
Two of her friends did a skit of how Saleem and Saleem would act on their first night together, it was hilarious.
"Acting Saleem: erm so how you?
Acting Saleema: who me?, I'm okay...how you?
Saleem: I'm okay...erm, can I hold your hand....
Saleema: ( looking around nervously) errr no...maybe we should start slow...
Saleem: yah you right...let me hold your finger."

Omw! The way they did it, they had us in stitches!

Then one of Saleemas cousins took over with a stand up comedy routine called "Saleem doesn't know what his in for", she made jokes about Saleema that had Saleema begging her to stop!

My favorite was her joke about Saleema in the future...she said, " so one day saleemas going to tell Saleem that he is having a daughter...and ofcorse his gona get so excited,but when he calms down, he'll ask her how she knows its going to be a girl, what if its a boy...and Saleema will say, don't be stupid, ofcorse its a girl...the test showed two pink lines not two blue ones!"

I enjoyed my evening so much...it was such an awesome laid back party, many of her friends were staying the night, she begged me to stay but I insisted that she needs this time with her Malawi friends, she and I will have more than enough time in Durban soon enough.

The driver dropped off those of us staying at the hotel, I was amazed that it was close to 1 am...Imraan had just returned too, he too, seemed surprised to see me getting back so late! He also looked like he had a great time, he went on an on about his fish and prawn braai.

This trip was really lovely. Today we visiting Mongochi and will spend a night at a cottage on Lake Malawi. I am going armed with enough mosquito spray and a double sleeping net. I already know I'm not attending the traditional bon fire...i don't want to get bitten.

Tomorrow we going to visit a locality were there is a Madrassa for natives run by a local Islamic organization that dose huge charity operations in Malawi.

Oki, I'm beat...
Yawn...can't.keep.my.eyes.open.any.longer...time for a nap!

Part 20: Leftovers and loving Indian...

Last night we had an Indo-pak supper of butter chicken, lamb karai, beef nihari with rogni naan and aloo parathas.

i love indo-Pak cuisine but Dadi really did go abit overboard with the ordering!
"I thought they kanjoos", she explained.

My MiL was shocked to see the table full of take-away tubs and papper wrappers...she couldn't believe Dadi had ordered food, after years of insisting on 'Ghar nu kawaanu'.

There was so much aloo paratha left over I decided to take a few extra for some of the teachers at school, there was still too much so I wrapped a few in individual foils and decided to give it to some people on the way to work.

in a household as big as ours we have alot of leftovers and sometimes its too much for tumi and thembi even.

Naturally I gave some to the beggars at the robots. I also gave the guy trying to sell me sunglasses, he looked hungry. I was like spreading paratha love...

When I got to the parking lot of the building that houses our school the man that parks next to me drove up right behind me, I had noticed him in my rear-view for quiet awhile, his beat up vw caddy was hard to miss.

usually when he sees me he greets with a polite 'Good morning' as we ride the lift together in silence but today he had a question...

"what was that you gave out at the intersection back there?", he asked.
"erm, some left over food from supper. Potatoe breads...", I kind of explained.
" oh do you mean aa-looo paa-raaathaa? I love those!", he said.
"yes, that, we had so many left over, do you want some?", I offered him.
He took one with a happy smile and as I left the lift he called out, "thanks, I do love myself some Indian!"

Ofcorse, half the staff heard him and looked at me funny, "his talking about food.", I muttered to them as I went into the front doors that was the entrance to our school.


When I told Imraan the story, he roared with laughter and told me not to run away with my green eyed gora.


Recently, I have been paying more attention to Shireens two, I know I'm really in for an adventure. Nobody knows better than me that no two children are alike, not even siblings, I know all about nature vs nurture, but I'm still very nervous!
I can't even tell Shireen's boys apart even after all this time and I find them more than a handful.

I want to raise my children differently but I wonder how that would work . Imraan and I have alot to think about.

Right now, Imraan is still stressing about work, he has been given his biggest case yet, with alot of responsibility, he told me that he feels like his being tested...but why?

I don't know how to calm his nerves. We suppose to be finalizing our Malawi trip for Saleems wedding but Imraan's having second thoughts.

 With this stress at work and my being pregnant, he feels like we should cancel our plans.

Both my mamagee and the Gyni have cleared me for flying, it is early enough in my pregnancy and shukaar I have no complications for them to be concerned.

 *There is malaria tablets that are safe to take while pregnant too so neither doctor saw any reason why I shouldn't go.

But Imraan, being Imraan...can't help but worry!

Now his reasoning that if he has to be unemployed he'd rather be saving that money...
Sigh...i hope we get some clarity on all fronts, soon...

*once again the medical information in this post is not based on any truth or research, the Author just made it up for the sake of the storyline and continuity...always seek the advice of medical professionals.

Road Trip Series-Part 3: Flattery will get you everywhere...

The weekend turned out to be as awesome as I had wanted it to be...and it was all over way to quickly!

On Saturday morning Imraan and I drove along marine drive stopping at some of my favorite beaches, St Micheals, the lagoon in Uvongo and finally ended up in Margate. We parked on the pier and roamed around eating ice cream from a little shop by the rocks, inevitably we found ourselves at the funfair, as we walked between the children's rides we started talking about how nice it would be to bring our own little two here, which led us to talking about names for twins...we decided to make list and then narrow them down, I wanted matching first letters, I think its so cute! 

By lunch time we were back in Sheppy and ordered my favorite pizza for lunch. After lunch Sabera and I went shopping with my mum touring both Shelly Centre and South Coast Mall. I love small towns, everything is so close by. We had so much fun and I really needed time to be with them and just relax.

Imraan went to a fish shop in Marburg to get everything on his mothers list.

When we got home Imraan was sitting in the garden chatting to my twin cousins from upstairs' Omir and Umaar.

What is it with twins, I'm surrounded by them, looks like they were always in my taqdeer.

These two however are like twideldee and twideldum. I never liked them, I don't know how Imraan manages to talk to them, I suppose he was just bored.
Even when we were growing up, they didn't have that mischievous spark like Shireens Yusuf and Yusair.

By supper time I was so tired I fell asleep while chatting to my father in the lounge...imraan must have carried me to the room because when I woke up I was in my bed and it was already Sunday! s

I washed up and went looking for Imraan, I found him in the kitchen teasing my Dadi, while she made him tea and eggs.
"I think Rehana is a very nice name, Dadi...it suits you!", he was telling her.
Dadi was quiet chaffed at all the attention.
"Dadi what is this lutchoo telling you, he just wants breakfast from you coz nobody else is awake yet."
"Dadi laughed, leave him leave him, I miss making breakfast for Dada...he use to have eggs and tarkari every Sundy too!"
Imraan winked at me..
I just shook my head at him, it was awesome how he was so chilled in my family home, I hope Sabera finds somebody like that too.

 Imraan always wants to 'hook her up' with his friends so he'll have company. As I walked away I heard Dadi complaining to Imraan about Dilnaas. 

When did my husband become a panchaat dadoo.

After brunch we left for Durban, it was so sad leaving but both Imraan and I felt so much more lighter and rested after our break. We finally told my family that the doctor said we expecting twins, everybody was super excited.

We had a very hard time packing the car once again, my mother obviously thinks that I don't eat in Durban, she sent things for my MiL, Kala and Mamagee too!

The lady Imraan delivered the pickles too had a 'parcel' that needed to go back to Durban too!
 My aunty from upstairs needed us to buy some stuff from the spice shop in Durban and send it up when somebody was coming...

then came all our goodbyes and warnings to drive safely, call when we reach, come again soon, etc etc...it's funny how the goodbyes can be longer than the visit sometimes, hehe...

I really needed this time with my family though, I miss them...once you get married, it's never the way it use to be.

We slowly backed out of the driveway, as much as its sad to leave, i dont mind so much coz im leaving with my amazing hubby, our marriage and life together is every bit as important as my childhood and the years I spent here...i waved at my family till I couldn't see them in the side mirror anymore and ofcorse I was fast asleep before we even got to the freeway...

Part 17: A little blimp...or two!

Imraan and I were so excited over our first visit to the Gyni, I was lucky to get an appointment so soon too, the waiting list is really long.

When we got there I was shocked at how full the waiting room was with pregnant women...
I filled out my details, was told not to pee till after I saw Dr. and made to weigh myself.

The man sitting next to the scale actually looked at the weight reading while I was taking it! How rude! I gave him a dirty look.
 
I flipped through old pregnancy magazines while Imraan fiddled with his phone, I knew he was nervous, so was I...i don't know why.

Finally it was our turn, the Dr was nice looking in a fatherly way and I immediately felt comfortable as he made salaam and shook Imraan's hand asking him if they had met before etc. Imraan admitted that he had went to school with Drs son. We discussed my general health and medical history, symptoms and fears.
*I explained that I had fell pregnant while on birthcontrol, and think I might have missed one without realizing, however I stopped taking them them the day we found out I was pregnant. Dr assured me I have nothing to worry about regarding the pill affecting the fetal development.* I also mentioned I had started folic acid already on advice from my GP, when he saw my Mamagees name on the card he said they had been in Med school together. I admitted that my GP was also my mothers brother. The Dr laughed and said this seems to be a 'contection call' to which Imraan replied, "yah, 45th cutting connections". The Drs mannerisms, warmth and humour made me feel sure of my decision to see him.

He did the Ultrasound and said, "Masha'Allah your baby looks very healthy and is growing well, there is good blood flow to the placenta, the dates must be off but because the measurements are showing less than the predicted gestation. Lets check the heartbeat first then Il redo your expected due date, due dates are not important, Allah decides when and where we are born, but its nice to have an idea to track progress."

Dr flipped a switch, moved the scanner around pressing it harder against my abdomen until a 'dum dum dum' sound filled the room..."that's your baby's heart" he said. 
What a beautiful moment, I looked into Imraan's eyes and saw the amazement and love there.
Dr was still,fiddling around, his brow frowning, the heartbeat sound was coming and going, he was moving the scanner to two locations...
His concentration scares me...something was wrong!

"there is two heartbeats, Alhumdulliah...", he began.
"two heart beats! I panicked, not giving him a chance to finish, is something wrong with my baby!" tears filled my eyes.

Imraan placed a hand on my knee, let him finish Tima...(he had heard this story once before)

Dr cleared his throat, "Fatima, it means you carrying twins, Masha'Allah, that is why the dates and measurements don't match, I'm going to try a more dynamic view to see if I can find the other baby, this one is blocking it but they move around alot, even though you can't feel it yet..." he said gently.

Twins...TWINS...twins!!! OMW...i thought of the two at home...what was I in for!...

**The Author fabricated much of the medical information provided in this post for purposes of the story and continuity, please don't consider any of it to be true. Always contact a medical practioner for advice.

Part 13-The end of the beginning...

When Imraan got to the china mall he barely acknowledged the other man, he just gave him a business card and said, "call me after Eid, Il sort you out...get your car assessed...give your details to my friend, I'll file an AR form later, right now my wife needs,medical attention.

He leaned into the car and asked me how I felt, if anything was sore...when I said no, he helped me out, he hugged me and said, come, your uncles expecting us.

"My car?", i asked Imraan.
"Luqmaan will drive Dadi home and take your car in.", Imraan replied offhandedly.

"jaja, koonche Luqmaan1! I'm coming with your", Dadi said.
"Dadi this is private...",Imraan started...
"Ma bee accident ma wagu2...i got hypertension too! I can feel my heart beating!" Dadi said dramatically

Luqmaan,Imraan's friend from work, roared with laughter!

"okay, okay, come both of you...Luqmaan just take the car by your ballie...I'll phone him one of the days." Imraan said

I remembered that Luqmaans father was a mechanic and owned a full auto yard and workshop. As he drove away, I had a fleeting thought about forgetting serviettes and deco in the backseat.

When we got to my mamagees3 surgery he sent Dadi to the nurse to get checked while he took my vitals.
"Fati fati...what have you done batchoo, okay lay on the bed for me, lift your abayaa little, lets do an ultrasound.", he said.

"everything seems okay Fatima, I'm guessing its a healthy fetus of about 6-8 weeks. Alhumdulliah"

"Imraan, the next 48 hours are crucial, she can't be on her feet, that means nothing for her to do for Eid. I mean it! She's stubborn, I know, but this is important...the slightest pain and she needs to be taken into casualties...we don't know if there will be any after effects from the jerk."
" Fatima, the receptionist will give you a list of good Obs&Gyni, there are some excellent Muslim females on the list, choose somebody from that list. You need to start taking folic acid, Il give you a script. Look after her Imraan, insha'Allah everything will be okay"

"oh and maybe keep her away from the roads too, for our safety more than hers" my uncle joked. "even Nasreen scared us by hitting a bar case last month, she was 6 months pregnant!"...
"oh you know, the garage might take very long with her car", Imraan said seriously
"it wasn't such a big smash", I protested
"you a panel beater now, are you?", Imraan teased me.
"go go you'll...I'll see you tomorrow, don't forget, supper at my house." my mamagee said

Dadi and I went home with clean bills of health. Dadi and Imraan ensured I was of my feet and on Eid morning we told our families, everybody was thrilled, Sumaya hugged me warmly. My mother started crying over the phone when she heard everything that had happened plus my news...i told her Imraan and I would be visiting the coming weekend, Insha'Allah.

Eid went very well, I found some time in the Dadi to ask Dadi how she guessed I was pregnant.
"no guess guess like your dress Barbie, when you get as old as me, you know when a paatri paatri pooiri3 gets a small pehtu4 and starts making ulthi5 all the time and starts looking more roopari than before, then she must be getting a batchoo6."
Wow!I was amazed...
"orrh, and Imraan let me use your bathroom for wudu fajr time yesterday...that pink test something box was by the sink...i chupchaapti7 put it in the bin", Dadi said with a naughty wink!
Un.believe.able!! I laughed so much, even Talha seemed to hear me.

In the evening I met the heavily pregnant Nasreen who was too thrilled about my news...
"you must go to Dr. B,at Crompton...he is beyond excellent...and quiet good looking too, you know, for an old man.." 
Oh this girl! She will never change! 


That night as I lay in bed I studied my husbands face...
"what you think...", he asked.
"it feels like the end of a chapter, doesn't it...the newlyweds phase is almost over, we going to be parents Insha'Allah.", I replied.
"Ameen, I'm really looking forward to it..."
"so am I,baby... so am I...we held hands and fell asleep..."

Glossary:

1. what!whos Luqmaan.
2. i also got hurt.
3. thin, thin girl
4. stomach
5. vomiting
6. baby
7. quietly

Part 12-Maru naam, Tahru kaam (your hard work, I take the credit)

Today at sehri Imraan and I were like love sick teenagers...we had a secret and it made us feel closer than ever.

After sehri nobody went back to sleep, there was tons to be done. Imraan warned me to take it easy and gave Sumaya instructions to watch me carefully because I was still 'not completely recovered."

Sumaya took over the mithai1 making for which I was grateful, my burfee was too hit-or-miss and I didn't want to 'hit a miss' and face MiL.

Shireen was still recovering from the 'shock' but said she wanted to make mini cakes and desserts.
My mother-in-law insisted that chevroo2 and the biryani3 was her forte every year and shouldn't be touched.

That left biscuit making for me...something I was very good at! I had a secret for making tons...

Dadi Ma presided over the kitchen, watching Sumaya and I...that left MiL free to torment Tumi and Thembi.
'Sula lapa, shiya la, Anza lo, boyica le inntor...' could only be heard from her lips...kitchen Zulu at its best.

Dadi entertained us as we worked with stories of the 'olden days' which made us laugh, baby Tariq was content in his playpen in the corner, I kept looking at him, wondering what my baby would be like...


As I pulled my last batch from the oven I remembered I hadn't bought serviettes and table decor for the lunch tables yet.
"Sumaya do you want to come with me to china mall?"
"oh no, Fatima I have so much still to do...i need to get everything ready for the chevroo and biryani for mummy still" she replied.
Whaaaaat
"Haa! Taru kaam-Inu naam "4, Dadi said crossly...
"wait wait Fatima, I'll come with you"...

Okay, now this was going to be interesting...
Surprisingly, Dadi was great company and didn't slow me down at all, we were done in record time and she had great taste. I actually really liked her!

As I was driving out of the mall parking, Dadi hit me for a six..." so you pregnant Fatima...when the batchoo going to come"
I slammed brakes so hard and fast without thinking...what kinda spooky intuition dose this women have!!!

Before I could reply, the car behind me rammed into us, causing us to jerk forward...
OMW...
I got out on shaky legs, Dadi was already busy with her phone...i felt dizzy...
I heard her say, " Imraan betha, its Dadi, you must come quick...Fatima and I had an accident at china mall..."

Oh! 0...

The driver of the other car, a Muslim man, was walking towards me, red in the face...
He was already screaming and swearing at me...
"you stupid young girls don't deserve cars!..who taught you to drive like this, you must be bought your license .."
"as salaamu alaikum, I'm Fatima...my husbands on his way, his a lawyer...I'd like to wait for him"
The man said, maaf maaf, you okay? And he went to sit in his car...
if My husband wasn't a lawyer, he would probably still be hurling abuse me...agh some
people!

I moved my car to the side and slumped back against the seat, Dadi put her hand on mine, she was reading Ayatul Kurse5...I closed my eyes and waited...i could only imagine the state Imraan was driving in...


Glossary

1. indian sweetmeats
2. spicy cerel and nuts snack
3. rice and lentil dish
4. her name, your hard work
5. prayer of protection

Part 10- Golden brown samoosas and 10-10 kilos Burfee

We into the final few days of Ramadaan, I have to seriously up my Ibadaat now. No Facebook time till after Eid. 
However I still need diary time, penning my thoughts has always kept me sane. I always wrote, but never a diary like this one...another first amongst many.

I need to energize though, there is a ton of baking, mithia making and chocolate decorating to do, ahead of Eid!

I also don't know what funny chores MiL will come up with too since this is my first Eid married. 

Which reminds me! I need to find something awesome to give Imraan for Eid then I need to think of a gift for him for our anniversary next month. Maybe Sumaya would come shopping with me after Jumuah...luckily i am off from today till the day after Eid because i worked during the holiday-care program.

When I asked Sumaya to join me she looked like she was going to say No, my heart sunk...then she said, "I would love to come, really but I can't leave these boys here, Mummy won't manage and I worry they will get hurt when the twins rough play, I'm so sorry."
Oh! "why do you want to leave them?we can take them, Il help you push Tariqs pram too."
"you don't mind them coming along?oh that's great, I'll be ready straight after Jumuah"

I'm still not feeling 100% but I'm alot better, I taught the flu was over but this morning at sehri I couldn't take the smell of all the fried eggs with leftover aloo ghose1. I had to run for the bathroom to gag.
Imraan has been looking very worried, I know he'll start troubling me to go to the doctor again! 
I'm also starting to get suspicious about these symptoms...my period still hasn't arrived! Not that Imraan and I have had enough 'time' so to speak, recently...
Ramadaans so hectic and who wants to look freshly showered at the sehri tables...its a dead give away, I would be red faced through-out. 
I also know how loud the plumbing sounds late at night, I cringe, embarrassed on behalf of whoever it is...
Ah, the downsides to joint family living!

My shopping trip with Sumaya went so well, I found such a nice gift for Imraan and Sumaya got a few last minute gift shopping done too. Imraan and I had already purchased Eid gifts for everybody else.

We made it back home just in time...luckily it wasn't either of our turns in the kitchen! 
But when I got to the kitchen, I was met with sour faced MiL taking orders from Dadi. Shireen was nowhere to be seen. 

I was pouring Imraan's milkshake when I heard him come in, my MiL was all over him as soon as she saw him...

"Oh, batchoo! Rooparoo rooparoo2 gift bags, for me?"
"you'll get yours on Eid day mummy, these are for my lovely wife",Imraan gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek.
"Imraan!you fasting!" my MiL yelled, as if he drank a whole bowl of haleem.
"areh kayroon!one small butchor got you all bothered, you must learn to let your sons go, they married now!" Dadi said
"look who's talking!" my MiL muttered into the samoosa oil.

Dadi got up in a huff, "meri aankoo karaab hai, meri kaan perfect cher!3", she said and stalked out!

I could hear Imraan laughing all the way to our room.
"stop dreaming Fatima, these platters won't walk to the table you know!" MiL snapped.

At iftaar time, Imraan's big brother Muhammad made a rare comment
"these samoosas look unfried, so pale"

"don't eat them then!I had no help today too! Sumaya and Fatima went to naachwa4 in the mall", MiL shot back...
(shew things are getting heated today!)

"they deserved a break Ma, don't worry, tomorrow Sumaya will make them perfectly golden brown", Muhammad said 

"be careful you don't turn into a triangle bru", Imraan teased his brother
"watch out you don't get all pink pink like sarbaat milkshake", Muhammad retorted.

Their banter almost drowned out MiLs remark, but the look on Sumaya's face told me she had heard that"golden brown like her" comment too.

"I think Shireens complexion is perfect, like burfee5", my MiL said
"jee ha.." Dadi chirped in...
Everybody looked surprised, was Dadi agreeing with MiL???
"shireen looks just like burfee...she looks like she ate 10 -10 kilos of burfee!" Dadi said 
Everybody burst out laughing...thankfully shireen and Bilal were having iftaar with her family tonight!

When I went in our room after Magrib, Imraan gave me the smaller gift bag first, inside was a...pregnancy test!!!

"I was Google-Ing all your symptoms and every search led here" he explained.

I looked at the box quietly, it was a super sensitive test that could be taken at any time with 90% accuracy.

"what's in the other gift bag?" I asked.
Imraan handed me the bigger one, it contained a tray of Ferrero and a box of Lindor. I looked at him confused."what is this for Imi?"

"kinda depends on the result...might be a congratulations gift or sorry you really are sick, you need a doctor gift" he said

Only my husband...

Well nows as good a time as any I thought  nervously and I did need to pee, yet again.

I took the test and washed up while I waited for it to prove. Imraan was sitting at the edge of the bed...

I looked down at the result and back at him...
"Imraan, ...", I began saying.

Glossary:

1. mutton curry
2. beautiful
3. my eyes are bad, but my ears are perfect
4. gallivanting
5. rich indian sweetmeats