Destination Mini Series: Part 3-Real Malawi

When I saw Saleemas home that first day, I wondered if she would be content with the little granny flat Saleem built for them behind his family home.

Yesterday, after visiting the real locations of Malawi, I felt grateful just for having running water, leave alone a warm shower in the morning. It was difficult and amazing at the same time, to see how people live.

The abject poverty is heart breaking, the genuine kindness and happiness...heart warming!

How is it that, people with so little have so much to give, of that which truly counts.
I met little children, so thin and under nourished that their built didn't match their age...

In school you learn about rickets and Kwashiorkor, but they just terms...here, you see the reality of it.

Imraan immediately took pics to email back to his office in the hope of getting a water well sponsorships, even though it is a non-muslin firm, they do alot  of charity work.

Imraan himself, made a modest donation towards food distribution and we even talked about sending the money for our babies aqeeqahs to be made and distributed here by the Ulema organization, Insha'Allah.

I was exhausted after our day out, I felt wrung out too but it was this leg of the trip that truly made me feel like I had seen Malawi.

Today we were invited to Saleemas home for Jumuah Lunch, they made a delicious memon akni...it was the first time I ate goat meat.
You would think goat meat would have put me off but shukaar I'm having an 'easy  pregnancy' so far, I can't believe I'm already into the second trimester.

Tomorrow is Saleem and Saleema's Wedding, tonight they putting Mendhi for the bride...i can't wait to see what a Memon wedding in Malawi is like.

Imraan and I are leaving on Sunday and should be home late Sunday night. Imraan needs to get back to the office. Mean while the two newly weds will fly to Mauritius and then Cape town for their 2 week honeymoon before coming home to begin their life as husband and wife!

as much as I am enjoying this trip I'm really feeling the heat and I'm tired...im ready to head back to South African soil!

Destination Mini Series: Part 2-Girls having fun

Blantyre was hardly a change from this city, just a few more shops and restaurants. It was quiet a drive there and back.

Saleema had invited me for what was  Masti raat...so while Imraan was off with Saleem and his cousins, I was meeting Saleemas friends and family.

These girls were to funny. They had ladies hired to do waxing and threading and massages, I had to tell them I'm pregnant because they were insisting I get a massage and I had read its not good while pregnant...myth or fact, I don't care...im not going to take a chance.

One of Saleemas schools friends read out a letter that Saleema had allegedly wrote describing what she wanted her future husband to look like and be like!there must have been some truth to it because Saleema seemed so embarrassed.

Saleemas SiL and sister played a game, they had each asked Saleem and Saleema 10 questions before the party, they read out the answers to compare what each had said.
Two of her friends did a skit of how Saleem and Saleem would act on their first night together, it was hilarious.
"Acting Saleem: erm so how you?
Acting Saleema: who me?, I'm okay...how you?
Saleem: I'm okay...erm, can I hold your hand....
Saleema: ( looking around nervously) errr no...maybe we should start slow...
Saleem: yah you right...let me hold your finger."

Omw! The way they did it, they had us in stitches!

Then one of Saleemas cousins took over with a stand up comedy routine called "Saleem doesn't know what his in for", she made jokes about Saleema that had Saleema begging her to stop!

My favorite was her joke about Saleema in the future...she said, " so one day saleemas going to tell Saleem that he is having a daughter...and ofcorse his gona get so excited,but when he calms down, he'll ask her how she knows its going to be a girl, what if its a boy...and Saleema will say, don't be stupid, ofcorse its a girl...the test showed two pink lines not two blue ones!"

I enjoyed my evening so much...it was such an awesome laid back party, many of her friends were staying the night, she begged me to stay but I insisted that she needs this time with her Malawi friends, she and I will have more than enough time in Durban soon enough.

The driver dropped off those of us staying at the hotel, I was amazed that it was close to 1 am...Imraan had just returned too, he too, seemed surprised to see me getting back so late! He also looked like he had a great time, he went on an on about his fish and prawn braai.

This trip was really lovely. Today we visiting Mongochi and will spend a night at a cottage on Lake Malawi. I am going armed with enough mosquito spray and a double sleeping net. I already know I'm not attending the traditional bon fire...i don't want to get bitten.

Tomorrow we going to visit a locality were there is a Madrassa for natives run by a local Islamic organization that dose huge charity operations in Malawi.

Oki, I'm beat...
Yawn...can't.keep.my.eyes.open.any.longer...time for a nap!

Destination Mini Series: Part1- Touchdown Malawi

Imraan and I landed shortly after midday yesterday in Lilongwe, Malawi. Saleema had a driver waiting for us thankfully.

It was almost a 45 minute drive from the airport to the hotel and there wasn't much to see except countryside and dust.

I gazed out of the window for awhile as Imraan made conversation with the driver, I found myself absent mindedly playing with the bracelet on my left wrist.

I lifted it up and studied it in the bright sunshine as the land cruiser swerved one way , then another to avoid potholes and other obstacles. Shew, I should tell him I'm pregnant!!

The bracelet was Imraan's gift to me for our anniversary, it was a specially crafted 24k charm bracelet that had two charms already and place for quite a few more.

The first charm was a little heart engraved with our names on each side, for our love and marriage, Imraan had explained.

The second was a number 1 with a little square diamond at the top, for our 1st anniversary, Imraan had said.

I had asked him if he planned on giving me a number each year now, but he laughed and said no, he wanted to give me different charms as the occasions presented themselves...like a little foot he had seen with a ruby or sapphire stone as the big toe for a baby boy or girl...and a mini graduation cap for when I complete my masters...i couldn't help but laugh...it was sweet and cute but it was going to end up costing a fortune!
I love it though...

I must have dozed off because Imraan woke me up saying we were at the hotel..i couldn't believe it! I didn't expect to find a hotel like this in Malawi...when Saleema said a 'nice' hotel I thought a decent kind if hut thing with running hot water, not modern 5 star accommodation...wow!
The room was stunning...the view, not so much!

We read zohar and freshened up, we had been invited to Saleemas home for lunch, I couldn't wait to finally meet her.

Once again, I was blown away...her home wasn't what I expected at all! It was modern, classy, tasteful...in stark contrast to the outside world.

As much as I was enjoying all the splendor and grandeur, I was starting to wonder if I would see the 'real' Malawi while here...the affluence of the Indian settlers was rather in your face.

Saleemas home was understandably busy...there were servants rushing to and fore and many people, I was hustled to a pink lounge while Imraan's was led away by a male servant. What seemed to be a Nanny was playing with a few children.

Finally a beautiful girl stepped into the lounge, I recognized her as Saleema from a picture Saleem had shown me, but the picture didn't do her justice. She was slim and very fair with beautiful hazel eyes...a Guji MiL would fall over herself for a DiL like this, except Saleema was not Surti, in the so called 'castings', she was Memon.

She smiled warmly as I rose from my seat and rushed forward to hug me in welcome. She was so friendly...

When she spoke, her voice was soft and low, her accent a cute mix of almost Indian but not quiet...like everything else, she too, was a contrast.

I soon met her mum, who looked as if she stepped out of India in a simple panjabi and orni drapped elegantly. This was a culture so different from ours, yet we are all descendents of the same country.

Lunch was delicious, and quiet a feast...i was lost in the chattery around me, a mixture of Memon, English and Chichewa. The workers served the meal.

After lunch we returned to the hotel, Saleema had a hectic week planned for us, with pre wedding functions and touring...

I was so glad that Imraan also seemed eager to see the real Malawi.

today we did some local sight seeing, there wasn't much to see...Lilongwe might be the capital city but it isn't much.

 I decided to catch up on some zzzzz's while Imraan went to catch up with Saleem, he and most of his family were staying at the same hotel, so there is enough South Africans around.

I am looking forward to a party Saleema invited me to tomorrow, some of her friends and family were getting together for some mischief making.

Tonight we had supper at a local Indian restaurant, the food was lovely and there was even a hookah lounge...i was amazed to see so many girls gathered around the pipes, puffing away...

Tomorrow, we have an early start, we visiting another city in Malawi called Blantyre.

This was turning into some trip...i was loving the culture shock!

Oh, but the reception here is so bad, some days a diary entry will have to be sacrificed...

Part 25: The Calm after the Storm

The days following Dadis departure saw a kind of hush falling over the household. My MiL was filled with a mixture of relief and shame I think. Her subdued personality was a welcome relief for me in a way.

After Saturday mornings damaal, I almost forgot about Imraam's news, but we finally got a chance to talk. He explained that the firm was opening a smaller branch in KZN and he was the top consideration to head the office and team.

His eyes sparkled with excitement as he told me that such an offer was a huge deal at any stage but to be considered this early in your career for such a responsibility was almost unheard off.

All the details were still abit sketchy, but they wanted to let him in on the plans early so he could be part of the planing process.

I am just so so proud of him, I know it would mean longer hours and even more dedication but this is the time for us to work and set up our lives.

I was thrilled for him, Alhumdulliah.

He told me the next few weeks were going to be really hectic and even though his leave had been approved for our trip to Malawi, he was really having second thoughts now.

But, eventually we decided to go. if he took this promotion and with the babies on the way, it might be our last chance for a holiday for a while yet.

I spent most of the week planing and organizing a baby shower for Nasreen. The only upside to my tardiness was that it was truly going to be a surprise shower, she wouldn't see this one coming at all!

Instead of formal invites, I got a digital invite made by Trendy Invites, I found them on facebook and they made the cutest invite to match my candy stripe theme. So I just BMM'd and emailed that out to all our cousins and Nasreen's friends and family. Luckily Sabera was helping me quiet abit and Dilnaas offered to sort out all the food stuff from her side, Dilnaas and Nasreen got along surprisingly well...i never would have thought.

So there's just a few things left to do before we fly out on Sunday. Our flight from King Shaka International was very early in the morning and we had a brief stop over at OR Tambo before boarding a flight to Malawi.

I am really looking forward to this trip, I can't wait to meet Saleema and see some of the places she had on an itinerary for us.

The weekend after we get back, we'll be hosting Nasreen's Baby shower at Dilnaas's Durban holiday flat (lol) , hope Nas stays pregnant till then.

Saturday is a very important day for Imraan and I, its going to be .... exactly one year since we married, Alhumdulliah! I can't wait!

Part 20: Leftovers and loving Indian...

Last night we had an Indo-pak supper of butter chicken, lamb karai, beef nihari with rogni naan and aloo parathas.

i love indo-Pak cuisine but Dadi really did go abit overboard with the ordering!
"I thought they kanjoos", she explained.

My MiL was shocked to see the table full of take-away tubs and papper wrappers...she couldn't believe Dadi had ordered food, after years of insisting on 'Ghar nu kawaanu'.

There was so much aloo paratha left over I decided to take a few extra for some of the teachers at school, there was still too much so I wrapped a few in individual foils and decided to give it to some people on the way to work.

in a household as big as ours we have alot of leftovers and sometimes its too much for tumi and thembi even.

Naturally I gave some to the beggars at the robots. I also gave the guy trying to sell me sunglasses, he looked hungry. I was like spreading paratha love...

When I got to the parking lot of the building that houses our school the man that parks next to me drove up right behind me, I had noticed him in my rear-view for quiet awhile, his beat up vw caddy was hard to miss.

usually when he sees me he greets with a polite 'Good morning' as we ride the lift together in silence but today he had a question...

"what was that you gave out at the intersection back there?", he asked.
"erm, some left over food from supper. Potatoe breads...", I kind of explained.
" oh do you mean aa-looo paa-raaathaa? I love those!", he said.
"yes, that, we had so many left over, do you want some?", I offered him.
He took one with a happy smile and as I left the lift he called out, "thanks, I do love myself some Indian!"

Ofcorse, half the staff heard him and looked at me funny, "his talking about food.", I muttered to them as I went into the front doors that was the entrance to our school.


When I told Imraan the story, he roared with laughter and told me not to run away with my green eyed gora.


Recently, I have been paying more attention to Shireens two, I know I'm really in for an adventure. Nobody knows better than me that no two children are alike, not even siblings, I know all about nature vs nurture, but I'm still very nervous!
I can't even tell Shireen's boys apart even after all this time and I find them more than a handful.

I want to raise my children differently but I wonder how that would work . Imraan and I have alot to think about.

Right now, Imraan is still stressing about work, he has been given his biggest case yet, with alot of responsibility, he told me that he feels like his being tested...but why?

I don't know how to calm his nerves. We suppose to be finalizing our Malawi trip for Saleems wedding but Imraan's having second thoughts.

 With this stress at work and my being pregnant, he feels like we should cancel our plans.

Both my mamagee and the Gyni have cleared me for flying, it is early enough in my pregnancy and shukaar I have no complications for them to be concerned.

 *There is malaria tablets that are safe to take while pregnant too so neither doctor saw any reason why I shouldn't go.

But Imraan, being Imraan...can't help but worry!

Now his reasoning that if he has to be unemployed he'd rather be saving that money...
Sigh...i hope we get some clarity on all fronts, soon...

*once again the medical information in this post is not based on any truth or research, the Author just made it up for the sake of the storyline and continuity...always seek the advice of medical professionals.

Part 14: Back to the present

I've spent so much time recently, thinking of the past and how Imraan and I met and our wedding. I'm really looking forward to our first wedding anniversary. I really need to find Imraan a awesome, memorable gift. We also had our up coming trip to Malawi for Saleems wedding, to finalize.

I am really looking forward to that too. Malawi is not a place i ever intended to visit, if it wasn't for Saleems wedding I doubt Imraan and I would have even considered it. But Saleem is Imraan's best friend and its so close to our anniversary, we would have went away somewhere anyway.

I have been chatting to Saleema, Saleems fiancee for awhile now. (yes, Saleem and Saleema...too cute hey!) I was so surprised that there are Indians in Malawi, for some reason I never thought of that, so when Imraan told me that Saleems getting engaged to a girl from Malawi,I had thought...well, I'm too embarrassed to admit, even in my diary, what the snob in me, had thought.

Turns out Saleema is more Indian than Il ever be! She and her brothers were actually born in India but her family moved to Malawi when she was only a few months old.

From chatting to her I learned that Malawi has a relatively large community of Indian Muslims, restaurants and even hotels. She already had an itinerary planned for our visit, I couldn't wait to go and to meet her.

I was really looking forward to having some company too, usually when Imraan's friends go out, for fishing weekends or evening sports...I stay at home. I spend the time watching TV, catching up with series or playing with Talha or Tariq so Sumaya can have a break.

Very rarely do I make plans with my own friends or Nasreen that co-ordinate with Imraan's plans. Sometimes I visited my Kala or Mamagee during that time.

While I had met most of the other wives on different occasions, I only spent time with them when we attended weddings of  one of the other guys in the group.
Mainly because whenever the husbands made spur of the minute plans, the wives used it as extra time to visit their own families', which I would have done too, but my parents don't live 'around the corner' or 'down the road'. 

Saleema would be in the same boat as me and now I'd have the company to join in on some of the spur of the moment events, and go watch some of their games.

When Imraan and his friends plan longer outings for fishing over the holiday season, I always go home for that time...i don't know what Saleema will do or if Saleem would still go, leaving her alone.

I can't imagine what it must be like to marry and move to a whole new country. Saleemas brother married a South African girl from Johannesburg, who is Saleems first cousin, Saleema told me that Haseena is having a very hard time adapting to the different lifestyle. Malawi is a far cry from the fast-past life she was use to in Johannesburg. She also misses her family alot and feels isolated due to language differences, she is trying to adapt. Saleema worries that Haseena would feel more alone after Saleema herself marries.

I went back to work after Eid and I'm so glad I have a job that allows me flexibility...even though the children thrive on routine, at this point of the year they settle down well enough to interchange activities. 
I work mostly with those with birth defects and speech and hearing difficulties so changes to schedules doesn't cause any major setbacks.

However, those teachers who work with the Autistic children have much more rigid timetables as its part of their development needs. It takes alot of experience and patience to work within this sphere and I hope to enter that area once I complete my Honours program.

Imraan's Dadi has extend her visit with us and my MiL seems to be at her wits-end now. I get the feeling she is just waiting for a chance to politely tell her MiL it is time to go...

I wonder what this weekend has in store...