Part 54: Imraan makes a proposal

My family's visit was so good. I went out of my way to prepare for them but ofcorse my mother and Dadi came with a wagon worth of prepared meals to stock my freezer and fridge.

"now my wife won't cook for me for months!", Imraan said when he saw the loot.

"I'm surprised she cooks at all!", Sabera chimed in.

"Oh, we'll see what kind of a housewife you make!", I shot back at her

"I will be a kept women", Sabera sighed, pretending to study her manicure..." Besides, Dadi said she'll come once a week to cook for me!"

"Ja-Ja, tharu maathu!", Dadi retorted, eyeballing Sabera with disapproval.

My mother just shook her head at us as she helped me tidy up after lunch.

I made tea for us and then the four of us sat down for panchaat as my father went of with Imraan to inspect something in the garden.

I could see why my mother was so concerned about my Dad, he really looked tired and drained out. My mamagee had scheduled him for an ECG and a check up with a physician. My father was playing delay tactics.

As we sat and chatted about this and that, various members of the family and the latest in Muslim fashion, my father and Imraan came back in...both of them had a strange look on their faces.

We all looked at them waiting for them to speak...my father sat down and cleared his throat ... Then he stirred the cup of tea my mother had poured for him. The tension was thick.

I couldn't begin to imagine what was so serious but I had a small clue from the way Imraan kept glancing at Sabera.

Finally my father spoke.

"Imraan has made a proposal of sorts...", he said gravely.

What! My mother, Sabera and Dadi looked at him so confused.

I giggled at my fathers choice of words.

Imraan had mentioned to me that his friend Luqmaan had been asking about Sabera recently, ever since he saw her a few months ago when he bumped into us the weekend of Nasreen's baby shower.

Sabera too, had confided in me that he had invited her on Facebook as a friend.

My father explained to the three that Imraan had asked if it is okay for Luqmaan and his dad to come up to Port Shepstone to see Sabera.

Since Luqmaans mum had past away not to long ago and his brother lived in Johannesburg, Imraan and I would accompany them.

Even though Sabera had seemed chilled about the Facebook invite, I wasn't sure how she would react to the proposal. However, one look at her face said it all...she was red red red like a tomato...not from anger though! My sister was blushing!!!!!

I smiled across at Imraan as Sabera nodded her head at my father, telling him its okay for Luqmaan to come home.

My father smiled as my mother hugged her, trying to hide the tears in her eyes.
We all kind of had a feeling that " this was it" for Sabera. It was a bitter sweet moment.

Part 53: Dodged a bullet...

After I calmed down on Saturday night, we managed to have a beautiful date under the stars.

Imraan and I spoke about everything and life has more or less settled down into a happy routine.

Now that Imraan isn't working crazy hours, we can spend more time together and enjoy the last few months of our pregnancy. I can't believe that in 2 months we will be a family if four!

I changed my hospital booking to a hospital here to make life easier for us.

We spent yesterday exploring midmar dam and even took a short drive to the quaint little town of Nottingham Road. Imraan has booked us a weekend away at Midlands saddle and trout that I am really looking forward to.

But before that, we will be hosting my family and ofcorse there is that proposal ambush my mother has planned for Sabera. I don't think my mother is very good at deception though, because Sabera called me today, in a panic.

"Fatima! You have to help me stop mummy from inviting those people from coming to see me!!!", she practically yelled into the phone.
I didn't even get to ask her how she found out about it because she was off on another tangent.

"You remember my friend Serisha?...", Sabera asked.

"-yes! The one that's engaged to a Muslim boy?", I replied...remembering Sabera's pretty friend who came home for iftaar every night one Ramadaan, a scarf neatly perched on her head. She had explained that she had met a Muslim boy and they were going to get married , so she was practicing from now. That was years ago...what did she have to do with any of this!

" well yes! She's pregnant...-", Sabera said.

" oh wow, that's great, how far along is she? You didn't tell me she got married, did she marry the same guy?..", I said excitedly.

" she didn't! Fatima pay attention!!", Sabera said, impatiently.

"She didn't marry him, he never even introduced her to his family...he just kept promising that soon has his finished with his studies. She believed him because he was doing hifiz etc. Then she fell pregnant and when she told him he got very angry and said she was trying to trap him and he never wanted to see her again!", Sabera said in a rush.

Omw...i was shocked! Why was Sabera telling me all this but.

"Fatima, this is the same guy mummy wants me to meet.", Sabera finished with a sigh.

" Whaaaaaaaaaat!", I gasped, horrified.

Shoh! No wonder Sabera was so against it. The cheek of this boy, to string along a sweet girl, promising her the world and using her...and then dropping her to save your own reputation. No regard for her, her future and the child you fathered....and then, find a nice innocent girl to marry, who is non the wiser of your past! The story made me sick!

I told Sabera not to worry, I would sort it out. Later I called my mother and told her Imraan and I weren't willing to host these people because we have heard some very unflattering things. My mother sounded very annoyed  over my vague excuse but since it is our home, she couldn't push it. She did start stressing over what to tell the family so I suggested that she let Gori Foi, as the go between, to deal with it.

My mother called me back very late last night to tell me that a friend of hers was visiting and she confided in her about the dilemma over the proposal...some how, tue story about Serisha had reached this lady's ears and my mother was both shocked and grateful that we had managed to call off the meeting.

Dodged a bullet there...

Part 51: Matchmaking and ambushing

My mother called me back to tell me the real reason she called!
Gori Foi had phoned to say her  say that her neighbour was looking for a 'nice girl' for her son.

"Ettlo haro pooiro che!, kurta, beard ne hando!", Gori foi had said to mummy.

So the lovely boy wants to meet Sabera.
Sabera however, is just not interested!

Mummy said that after much persuasion Sabera had relented and agreed to atleast meet him, she even got curious about his name and surname and mummy had thought she was finally coming around. Then all of a sudden she flew of the handle and changed her mind. She was refusing to meet him.

Mummy and Gori Foi decided that telling the boys family not to come now was just rude, so they arranged for them to meet at my home!
Sabers is going to be furious! I begged mummy not to put me in the middle of this. My mother somehow talked me into agreeing and I just had a nasty feeling.

My mother thinks Sabera is just being difficult, this boy was from a respected family, he was a hafiz, he is an accountant and already has a job...in my mothers eyes, it was already a match.

Once I got of the phone with my mother, I too was thinking that no harm could come from them just meeting. Nobody was asking Sabera to marry him on the spot, or even like him...but she could at least meet him.

Imraan didn't like my mothers sneaky idea about ambushing Sabera into meeting this guy. Imraan felt like Sabera probably had a good reason to refuse...

"A good reason like what!", I challenged him.

" like maybe she already has somebody else in her life or on her mind.", Imraan suggested.

WHAT!!!!

How could Imraan even suggest that!
I was so mad at him.

He smiled slyly..." Maybe her big sister thought her a thing or too...!", he winked.

I couldn't help but laugh!

"Well, if it doesn't work out with this guy, there is somebody I would like to introduce her too...", Imraan said offhandedly.

Whaaaaat! Who?!;!

Imraan that monkey...he just winked again and left for work.

Part 50: Errands and Excuses

As hard as Imraan and I have been trying, we seemed to be getting lost in the whole humdrum of life. It seems as if little things are making huge spaces between us.
I have been so focused on setting up home and Imraan is very busy with work, I between all that was MiLs drop -in and now my Gori Foi is acting up.

When we moved to PMB I didn't think that my Aunty would decide that we her new taxi drivers. She phones me every fee days with some errand or the other.

"Fatima bethi, can you please give me lift to the hair salon, so many days I never dye my hair."

"Salaam Likum Fati, how you! You know that fabric shop down their on church street, must tell me if you going that side, no hurry hurry, I just want to get some material before the sale finishes."

"Fatima, when you get a chance must take me to the dress maker."

Argh!!! Im pregnant, I hate driving around in the heat. Im also not familiar with the streets and Gori Fois directions are just terrible!!

" Turn over there!"
"go back go back!"
"little bit more"
" next to the black car is the driveway"

It was way to stressful so I started making excuses, doctors appointments...dentist...gyni...vomiting...leg cramps...stomach pains...anything I could think of!

I must have over did it abit coz my mother called last night, her voice full of worry!
" Fatima are you okay batchoo?"

" Jee I am fine mummy."

" you sure? I just spoke to Gori Foi now and she says you always feeling sick and going to the doctors."

I felt so guilty, good thing my mother couldn't see my red face through the phone!

" if you want me to come stay with you for a few days, just let me know!"

I felt horrible now, my mother didn't need the stress, my dad wasn't feeling well and mummy was taken a strain because of it.

" no no mummy, I'm okay I promise. Sometimes I just make things more dramatic because Gori Foi always needs a lift here and there", I finally admited

"What!!! She's using you to take her around! In your condition! I'll tell Dadi about this", my mother fumed

Oh-0, now I was really causing it.

"Mummy stop fussing, I'm fine really...hows daddy?"

My mother heaved a huge sigh and I immediately felt her worry stress as she spoke about my fathers lack of energy, chest pains and stubbornness. He was still refusing to go to the doctor!

My mother said she was thinking of inviting mamagee up for lunch on Sunday so he could by the way talk some sense into my father and perhaps check him out!

"He still wants ghee rotis and oily oily achaar, Fatima!", my mother said sounding so upset.
I got of the phone feeling horrible, I decided I really needed to go visit my parents soon.

As luck would have it...they decided to come to see me. 

Road Trip Series-Part 3: Flattery will get you everywhere...

The weekend turned out to be as awesome as I had wanted it to be...and it was all over way to quickly!

On Saturday morning Imraan and I drove along marine drive stopping at some of my favorite beaches, St Micheals, the lagoon in Uvongo and finally ended up in Margate. We parked on the pier and roamed around eating ice cream from a little shop by the rocks, inevitably we found ourselves at the funfair, as we walked between the children's rides we started talking about how nice it would be to bring our own little two here, which led us to talking about names for twins...we decided to make list and then narrow them down, I wanted matching first letters, I think its so cute! 

By lunch time we were back in Sheppy and ordered my favorite pizza for lunch. After lunch Sabera and I went shopping with my mum touring both Shelly Centre and South Coast Mall. I love small towns, everything is so close by. We had so much fun and I really needed time to be with them and just relax.

Imraan went to a fish shop in Marburg to get everything on his mothers list.

When we got home Imraan was sitting in the garden chatting to my twin cousins from upstairs' Omir and Umaar.

What is it with twins, I'm surrounded by them, looks like they were always in my taqdeer.

These two however are like twideldee and twideldum. I never liked them, I don't know how Imraan manages to talk to them, I suppose he was just bored.
Even when we were growing up, they didn't have that mischievous spark like Shireens Yusuf and Yusair.

By supper time I was so tired I fell asleep while chatting to my father in the lounge...imraan must have carried me to the room because when I woke up I was in my bed and it was already Sunday! s

I washed up and went looking for Imraan, I found him in the kitchen teasing my Dadi, while she made him tea and eggs.
"I think Rehana is a very nice name, Dadi...it suits you!", he was telling her.
Dadi was quiet chaffed at all the attention.
"Dadi what is this lutchoo telling you, he just wants breakfast from you coz nobody else is awake yet."
"Dadi laughed, leave him leave him, I miss making breakfast for Dada...he use to have eggs and tarkari every Sundy too!"
Imraan winked at me..
I just shook my head at him, it was awesome how he was so chilled in my family home, I hope Sabera finds somebody like that too.

 Imraan always wants to 'hook her up' with his friends so he'll have company. As I walked away I heard Dadi complaining to Imraan about Dilnaas. 

When did my husband become a panchaat dadoo.

After brunch we left for Durban, it was so sad leaving but both Imraan and I felt so much more lighter and rested after our break. We finally told my family that the doctor said we expecting twins, everybody was super excited.

We had a very hard time packing the car once again, my mother obviously thinks that I don't eat in Durban, she sent things for my MiL, Kala and Mamagee too!

The lady Imraan delivered the pickles too had a 'parcel' that needed to go back to Durban too!
 My aunty from upstairs needed us to buy some stuff from the spice shop in Durban and send it up when somebody was coming...

then came all our goodbyes and warnings to drive safely, call when we reach, come again soon, etc etc...it's funny how the goodbyes can be longer than the visit sometimes, hehe...

I really needed this time with my family though, I miss them...once you get married, it's never the way it use to be.

We slowly backed out of the driveway, as much as its sad to leave, i dont mind so much coz im leaving with my amazing hubby, our marriage and life together is every bit as important as my childhood and the years I spent here...i waved at my family till I couldn't see them in the side mirror anymore and ofcorse I was fast asleep before we even got to the freeway...

Road Trip Series-Part 2: Nails on a Chalkboard

Last nights supper was off the hook...Mummy made all my favorites and most of Imraan's...i definitely ate for three!
 That's still unbelievable, Imraan and I haven't told anybody yet, for some reason. We liked keeping it a secret.

Imraan and I woke up little later than normal for a Friday but we were on holiday right!

besides, my mother said I must sleep as much as I can now, because once baby comes I won't get a chance too...i told her the sleepless nights don't last forever?

She gave me a funny look and said I have a lot to learn...

Dadi explained it little better, she said that even though your baby will eventually sleep all night, your sleep would never be the same, once you become a mother its like the centre of your universe...nothing else matters except your child or children...even if they adults you will still have sleepless nights worrying about them.

I understood the words, but not in the way my mother seemed to understand, it almost tied them together, like an invisible thread, they understood a secret, one I will soon be finding out about.

My sister was all over me with constant teasing and comments, she has always been like this. We are Irish twins, I was born 11 months before her, which would have made her the 'mistake' baby, but my brother Ahmed was born 11 months before me!

guess we were Irish triplets?
 
Growing up, they always told me that I was the mistake, they were perfectly spaced...

Growing up was nice, we were very close and did everything together. Our troubles only started towards the end of high school.

When Ahmed was in Matric he got into a relationship with a girl in Saberas class, she was from a very strict family so she used Sabera and I as excuses to get out of the house...she soon got caught and her relationship with Ahmed was exposed.

Dilnaas is from a wealthy and very strict family. Her parents were understandably furious but the way they made demands without discussion, consensus and understanding caused even more problems.

The minute they found out, they were all over my parents demanding that Ahmed marry Dilnaas immediately!

 It was just before final's and my father thought it would be better to have everything calm down and then all 4 of them could come together and discuss the issue at hand. 

Her father was hearing none if it, he said they were children and need to be told what to do, not asked. To which my father reasoned that, children shouldn't be forced into marriages or be placed in the position of having to get married without proper thought and mashoora. If you not old enough to be asked an opinion on something that would change your life how can you be old enough to get married?

My parents thought that an amicable solution of taking away privileges, imposing a no contact rule and deferring the marriage talk would have been worth it. Ahmed would have been leaving for UCT in January.

My parents tried talking to Ahmed but with all the heat from her parents and Dilnaas's emotional reaction and his looming final's, Ahmed couldn't stop and think straight either. My father pleaded with him to hold off till things were calmer but Ahmed worried what Dilnaas would do if she thought he was abandoning her to face her family alone.

Dilnaas's father felt like my family was condoning Zinna.  

They ended up making Nikkah in her family lounge, mere days before Ahmed's exams, my parents weren't even there. 

Instead of completing school and enjoying the carefree freedom of holiday where it seems like you have the rest of your life in front of you, Ahmed completed school and became son-in-law to a tyrant.

Sabera and I didn't like Dilnaas in school because of all her airs and graces and showing off because of her families wealth...now she was our SiL???!!!!

My parents were so disappointed and hurt, this wasn't the dreams they had for their first born and only son.
Marriage should have come a few years into the future and under better circumstances. It wasn't that they were okay with a relationship before marriage, they just thought the situation could be handled differently.

Ahmed had deferred the Mehar the night of the Nikkah and it was quiet a large sum, in all her ' fragile emotions' Dilnaas was still a princess enough to demand a handsome sum.

Initially Ahmed and Dilnaas lived in their respective homes, with Ahmed visiting her often. He gave up his scholarship to UCT and decided to study BCom.Accounting via Unisa so he could remain in Port Shepstone. He started working for my Uncle too. 

It was a very difficult time, my parents still wished that Dilnaas parents were able to discuss the issue and had not been so hasty. 
Eventually Ahmed started spending more and more time with Dilnaas and her family and once again, without discussion or consensus, he moved in!
He became a 'ghar jamai' and it tore into everything my parents stood for.
 
My father is humble school teacher, now principal, and as much as we not wealthy, we were always comfortable. Our home wasn't big but Ahmed had his own room and had they discusses living together, my parents would have preferred to have Dilnaas move in, instead of Ahmed leave to live with her parents.

It took along time, with many threatened divorces and other drama but things seem to finally be getting better. Sabera and I still feel like we lost the brother we grew up with, Ahmed had been thrown into adulthood, prematurely.

That Friday morning as I drank tea outside talking to Imraan while he fussed about his car stinking of pickle because his foi's neighbour had packed atchaar in the box she sent with us, the latest M3 pulled into the driveway.the sound of the engine had Imraan whistling...i knew immediately  that it was Ahmed and Dilnaas.

I went and stood next to my husband as Dilnaas got out with a screeched, "Faaaaaa-tiiiiiiiii-mmmmmmwah!", I heard you were in town, darling!"

She wore a stunning Hanayan abaya, pencil heels that made her atleast 5cm taller than Ahmed and her scarf perched elegantly over the raised bun on her head. her make up was flawless! Oh, why did my mother invite her...sigh.
She hobbled over to us and Imraan quickly bent down into the booth as if he was busy, I looked down at my slept in pj's and old slippers and felt like a hermit in front of the Muslimah version of a porcelain Barbie doll.

"when Ahmed's mummy phoned and said you'll are here for lunch, I had to make those red and blue valvet cuppies Imraan lurrrrrvvvies- Salaams Imraaaaaan, how are you BiL!!", Imraan muttered something even I didn't understand. 

As Ahmed tried to lead his wife away, her heel snagged on the hem of her flowy abaya, to which Ahmed said, "I told you not to wear those damn shoes or this dress for that matter!", "but its Jumuah! You have to look your best, besides we are guest.",Dilnaas replied.

"right, I'm off baby...see you in a bit.", Imraan said, kissing me.
Which caused my annoying cousins from upstairs to wolf whistle.
In my ear he whispered, I need to get rid of this shit before the whole car smells like methi! And I can't stay here and listen to nails on a chalkboard, sorry...(referring to Dilnaas)...

After he was gone, Ahmed came back out,  leaving for work..."how are you sis, heard you got one in the oven,congrats!", he said giving me a side hug.
I looked up into the face I use to know so well, it was different now, older, tired...it lacked the sparkle and mischief of our childhood. "thanks bro"
"can't wait to have my own too, but I'll spoil yours rotten!", he laughed.

He got into his car and drove off, after finishing his degree he had joined his father-in-laws business. He and Dilnaas had since moved out of the house and now lived in a sea facing apartment in an expensive estate in Uvongo. No doubt a generous gift from daddy dearest.

When I went inside Dilnaas was talking my mothers ear off while mummy and Dadi cooked, "put that radio off, mummy! I hate the sound of some of those adverts!", Sabera stormed in, she has never been a morning person. When she saw Dilnaas she realizes her error and stormed out again- there had been no radio on! 

"Fatima, why don't you and Dilnaas go to the lounge, I'm sure you'll got lots to catch up on.

"Later, I need to bath and read Quraan before Imraan gets back."

I too made a quick exit...

Lunch was soooo yum, mummy made mutton biryani and chicken akni, both of which I love. Why two dishes? Well, the princess doesn't eat lentils ofcorse.
As usual, Imraan covered his entire helping of biryani with a ton of dhai, he can eat anything with dhai!

Usually it causes comments and jokes when others see this but today Dilnaas stole the thunder when she asked for a fork and knife and then proceeded to eat her akni using them...however, nobody said anything, even Sabera was speechless!...for now...

it occurred to me that once Dilnaas and Ahmed left my mum and dadi would complain about Dilnaas and Sabera and I would add our two sense...aa much as I hate to admit it, we as bad as any in-laws...

its a vicious cycle that we suffer from, as a community...daughters are diamonds and daughter-in-laws are diamanties.

was the onesided way we treated Dilnaas any different to the way my MiL treated me?

I decided to be the change I wanted to see...to treat her the same way i expected Imraan's family to treat me...

oh! When did I get so mature, thoughtful and serious... i have a fabulous weekend ahead of me...

Road Trip Series-Part 1: Destination HOME

Today Imraan and i got off work early so we could load up and leave for Port Shepstone.

We were only going till Sunday so we shared a small suitcase,but you would never say! Our booth and backseat were full, granted we have a small polo Gti, but still. 

My MiL packed a million little this and that's for us for the 'road'...its only an hours drive, mind you. 

She also sent 'durban' things for my mother, coz you know how asmall place like NPS doesn't have shops. Although she did give Imraan a rather long sea food shopping list.

My Kala, Nasreens mum, had a 'parcel' to send for my mum.

Then, at the last minute, Imraan's Gori foi, Khatijah, phoned to ask if we can take one small parcel for her neighbors niece in Albersville, this lady also wanted to know if we will be stopping in Umzinto (coz you know its 'on the way') because she had a urgent wedding invite card she needed to send to her sister.

despite telling her we won't be going to umzinto, her son who came to drop of the 'parcel'- a big heavy box-handed us the invite, 'just in case you'll stop'...
(erm, stop? Why, do they live on the side of the freeway)

after we crammed everything into the car, we were finally ready to hit the road.

I last remembered passing Isipingo , my head heavy against the headrest. when I opened my eyes again we where just taking the Hibberdene turn-off. 

"Hi sleepy-head...can you hear anything?" Imraan asked me with amusement.
I listened for a moment, puzzled..."nope", I replied confused.
"Ah, good then, that snoring sound is gone!" he said, laughing at his own lame joke.
I swatted at his arm playfully and he jerked the steering wheel to right and back giving me a huge fright!
"don't do that!" I exclaimed loudly, placing a hand on my abdomen.
"I didn't, you the one that hit me!" he said
"oh please, just drive"..." yes boss" he winked back...i stuck out my tongue at him and turned to watch the ocean as afternoon turned to evening...

I really love my husband, we have so much to look forward too.

Before I knew it we were pulling into the driveway of my parents home in Shelly Beach. The ground floor of the house is where I grew up and got married from. Upstairs, my fathers brother lives, they have a view of the distant ocean from their lounge and balcony.

The minute I walked through the front door, I was a child again... I flopped onto the sofa while my mother and Dadi fussed over me.
" put your feet up""why you carrying things"" you want some tea"
ahh...the smell of my mummy's cooking, the ding ding of the old grandfather clock in the passage, the feel of our leather couches, the smell of Dadis favourite furniture polish...i was home!...only one part missing..


"oh, stop fussing over her!...she's pregnant not an invalid..."
"Shew, looks like you moving in with all the stuff you brought for the weekend!" my sister said sarcastically as she came into the lounge. I smiled brightly at her, "Nice to see you too, Sabera." I said happily....right, now i was truly home!

Imraan who was just bringing in the last of our stuff, had heard her..."don't give her all those gifts you bought her, Tima...this big mouth doesn't deserve them" 
I saw Sabera getting ready with a cheeky remark of her own, I quickly tuned them out...they would carry on for hours!

I headed to the kitchen to find my father...it was good to be home!

Flash Back Mini Series- Part 3: Happiness and Sadness

I had filled in two fields on that form...1. Bride's representative, 2. Contact number...

The following weekend, Imraan's family drove up to meet me.
 I was so glad that at least I kinda knew Sumaya. She was quiet and 6 months pregnant, but at least she was a familiar face, oh and Talha, who was so excited to be visiting Fatima ma'am at home. I think he was shocked teachers even had a home, he must have thought we live in school, lol.

I never had an engagement party, shortly after my proposal, Nani took ill...she had too move in with my Kala amidst wedding preps for Nasreen, things were hectic. 

One weekend while we were in Durban, Imraan, his mother and father, sister and SiLs came to my Kala's house, we set a date for less than a month after Ramadaan. They put a gold chain and that same ring on for me. 
My Kala then whipped out some Mithia she had left from Nasreen's kunchaas, and just like that Imraan and I were engaged.

Even though we chatted before our conversations now were different...less vague and light hearted, it was deeper, more honest and a bit shyer. He wasn't as bold as he had first appeared. He said he was relieved I was not as aloof as I had appeared.

We decided to limit our contact to one chat every evening and supervised visits every second weekend...we didn't want to get so familiar that we lose the true muhabaa and magic of marriage, this was our halfway point and it pleased our parents.

With Nani so sick and Nasreen's wedding on the horizon, my own wedding prep was getting left behind.

Imraan and I decided on a Nikkah for a Friday after Asr in Port Shepstone, no reception, a walima in Durban on Sunday.
My parents ended up having a huge lunch after Jumuah at the Marburg Hall for everybody. It wasn't fancy, I wore an abayaa and scarf like everybody else.

My friends from campus took over my wedding plans, they scheduled and made bookings for me, planned shopping trips etc, it was a huge relief.

Nani was in and out of hospital and getting weaker, Nasreen's wedding became the first family function that Nani wasn't directly involved in.

After Nasreens wedding, Nani took a turn for the worse. Nas cut her honeymoon short and came back home early.
About five days before Ramadaan, Nani woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, I sat up next to her...she had barely spoken recently, "Nani you okay?" I asked her? 
I quickly switched on the light.
"kaa che garjaal?" I pointed to the bedside clock, its half past 3 Nani.
Nani started getting out of bed, i rushed to help her...her breathing was laboured and wheezy...she felt so small and frail in my arms, its hard to believe that she once use to carry me around on her hip.

"must make wudu, must make wudu, fajr ke suru, fajr ke suru" 
I didn't know what else to do so I helped her into the bathroom and helped her make wudu, after she was done I wiped her face, hands and feet while she sat on the chair. She slowly tied her downy, still muttering about fajr time, her eyes seemed dazed-like she was far away, I wondered if she even realized I was there.

I quickly opened her musalah and faced it towards qiblaah, I was trying to turn her chair when she said, put me on the floor Fatima, I want to make sajdaa on the ground.

As soon as she began salaah, I rushed to my mothers room, in tears I told my mother Nani was reading fajr now, before time...
"Don't worry, don't worry, let her...come i'll make us some tea..."

I checked on Nani she was sitting on her musalaah still making dua. Soon Kala and everybody else woke up for fajr and mummy told them Nani had woken early to read, one by one they went into see her while she made dua.
 When I finished pray my fajr I realized Nani had been in sajdaa for very long now, when I went near I couldn't hear her wheezy breath anymore...I ran to the door shouting "mummy, mummy!!!!!"...then everything went black!

I awoke to my mothers voice," its okay Fatima, its okay..." 
Tears filled my mothers eyes and spilt over, running down her face...
It wasn't a dream then, I knew...I squeezed my eyes closed.
"She's gone batchoo, she's gone...she lived long and she had such a beautiful death, it was all she ever wanted baby, you have to be strong", my mother said to me.
I kept shaking my head, She didn't understand.
"I was right there mummy, right there...on the other musalaah...she never even made a sound."

My mother looked at my Mamajee,
 When did he get here? 
He will make Nani better, I know he will!
"I think she needs something, doc..."
My mamajee nodded,"Already on it Mumtaz".
I felt a pinch and once again everything was black.

I woke up two hours later feeling stronger , I had a dream of Nani, surrounded by a beautiful garden. I knew then, that she was in Jannah. 
I showered and changed, I wore my most beautiful abayaa. No doubt many ladies thought I had lost it, I looked like a rainbow in the sea of black.
I read and made Dua for Nani, I refused to talk to anybody while the Janaza was in the house. Lots of people whispered about me, no doubt thinking I had had a nervous breakdown.
"shame...so close to her wedding too."


Imraans SiLs and mother came, I acknowledged them with a nod.
After the funeral I phoned Imraan, in a quiet corner I broke down and told him it all...he quietly listened and made Dua, after that, I felt a bit whole again.

That Ramadaan was a blur. A few weeks after Eid was  my wedding day...Thank goodness for lutfi and Kat...I wouldn't have got anything done if it wasn't for them!