The trip to Port Shepstone was uneventful. I remember the last trip we made after Ramadaan back when we just found out we were pregnant.
Sabera looked absolutely stunning for her meeting with Luqmaan. She wore a simple but lovely knee-length top with jeans and her scarf and shoes just tied the outfit together. She looked stunning but no different from the way she dresses usually. I was so glad she didn't try to make herself into something she isn't.
Luqmaan wore jeans and a shirt tucked in, in a very smart casual look that suited him perfectly. I could already think of him as a 'brother', he looked very intimidated when he created Ahmed which was funny because Luqmaan was a year older than Ahmed, but Ahmed had that effect on people.
I couldn't help but notice that Luqmaan was wearing a shirt that was the exact shade of grey that Sabera loves, her room curtains were the very same colour. I wonder if it was a coincidence or he panned that.
My mother went all out for the visit and made a million little eats for them. I felt very privileged that even though I was technically from the "boys side", it was my parents home so nobody raised eyebrows when I heaped my plate multiple times and whacked lashings of chutney's.
Dadi kept saying, "kaah...kaah..." and eat I did!
When Sabera and Luqmaan came back from their brief chat, they looked like deer and doe caught in headlights. My heart went all melty...
This looked like a done deal but ofcorse Luqmaan left with a question he would have to wait for the answer too.
As soon as they left, Ahmed, Imraan and I turned to torment Sabera but she was way smarter than that...she rushed of to her room saying she had istikara to make.
Imraan and I had decided that we would spend the rest of the weekend with my parents. So I am totally looking forward to full share of spoiling. Ofcorse I am suddenly feeling for everything.
Showing posts with label port shepstone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label port shepstone. Show all posts
Saturday, 22 November 2014
Monday, 18 August 2014
Road Trip Series-Part 3: Flattery will get you everywhere...
The weekend turned out to be as awesome as I had wanted it to be...and it was all over way to quickly!
On Saturday morning Imraan and I drove along marine drive stopping at some of my favorite beaches, St Micheals, the lagoon in Uvongo and finally ended up in Margate. We parked on the pier and roamed around eating ice cream from a little shop by the rocks, inevitably we found ourselves at the funfair, as we walked between the children's rides we started talking about how nice it would be to bring our own little two here, which led us to talking about names for twins...we decided to make list and then narrow them down, I wanted matching first letters, I think its so cute!
By lunch time we were back in Sheppy and ordered my favorite pizza for lunch. After lunch Sabera and I went shopping with my mum touring both Shelly Centre and South Coast Mall. I love small towns, everything is so close by. We had so much fun and I really needed time to be with them and just relax.
Imraan went to a fish shop in Marburg to get everything on his mothers list.
When we got home Imraan was sitting in the garden chatting to my twin cousins from upstairs' Omir and Umaar.
What is it with twins, I'm surrounded by them, looks like they were always in my taqdeer.
These two however are like twideldee and twideldum. I never liked them, I don't know how Imraan manages to talk to them, I suppose he was just bored.
Even when we were growing up, they didn't have that mischievous spark like Shireens Yusuf and Yusair.
By supper time I was so tired I fell asleep while chatting to my father in the lounge...imraan must have carried me to the room because when I woke up I was in my bed and it was already Sunday! s
I washed up and went looking for Imraan, I found him in the kitchen teasing my Dadi, while she made him tea and eggs.
"I think Rehana is a very nice name, Dadi...it suits you!", he was telling her.
Dadi was quiet chaffed at all the attention.
"Dadi what is this lutchoo telling you, he just wants breakfast from you coz nobody else is awake yet."
"Dadi laughed, leave him leave him, I miss making breakfast for Dada...he use to have eggs and tarkari every Sundy too!"
Imraan winked at me..
I just shook my head at him, it was awesome how he was so chilled in my family home, I hope Sabera finds somebody like that too.
Imraan always wants to 'hook her up' with his friends so he'll have company. As I walked away I heard Dadi complaining to Imraan about Dilnaas.
When did my husband become a panchaat dadoo.
After brunch we left for Durban, it was so sad leaving but both Imraan and I felt so much more lighter and rested after our break. We finally told my family that the doctor said we expecting twins, everybody was super excited.
We had a very hard time packing the car once again, my mother obviously thinks that I don't eat in Durban, she sent things for my MiL, Kala and Mamagee too!
The lady Imraan delivered the pickles too had a 'parcel' that needed to go back to Durban too!
My aunty from upstairs needed us to buy some stuff from the spice shop in Durban and send it up when somebody was coming...
then came all our goodbyes and warnings to drive safely, call when we reach, come again soon, etc etc...it's funny how the goodbyes can be longer than the visit sometimes, hehe...
I really needed this time with my family though, I miss them...once you get married, it's never the way it use to be.
We slowly backed out of the driveway, as much as its sad to leave, i dont mind so much coz im leaving with my amazing hubby, our marriage and life together is every bit as important as my childhood and the years I spent here...i waved at my family till I couldn't see them in the side mirror anymore and ofcorse I was fast asleep before we even got to the freeway...
On Saturday morning Imraan and I drove along marine drive stopping at some of my favorite beaches, St Micheals, the lagoon in Uvongo and finally ended up in Margate. We parked on the pier and roamed around eating ice cream from a little shop by the rocks, inevitably we found ourselves at the funfair, as we walked between the children's rides we started talking about how nice it would be to bring our own little two here, which led us to talking about names for twins...we decided to make list and then narrow them down, I wanted matching first letters, I think its so cute!
By lunch time we were back in Sheppy and ordered my favorite pizza for lunch. After lunch Sabera and I went shopping with my mum touring both Shelly Centre and South Coast Mall. I love small towns, everything is so close by. We had so much fun and I really needed time to be with them and just relax.
Imraan went to a fish shop in Marburg to get everything on his mothers list.
When we got home Imraan was sitting in the garden chatting to my twin cousins from upstairs' Omir and Umaar.
What is it with twins, I'm surrounded by them, looks like they were always in my taqdeer.
These two however are like twideldee and twideldum. I never liked them, I don't know how Imraan manages to talk to them, I suppose he was just bored.
Even when we were growing up, they didn't have that mischievous spark like Shireens Yusuf and Yusair.
By supper time I was so tired I fell asleep while chatting to my father in the lounge...imraan must have carried me to the room because when I woke up I was in my bed and it was already Sunday! s
I washed up and went looking for Imraan, I found him in the kitchen teasing my Dadi, while she made him tea and eggs.
"I think Rehana is a very nice name, Dadi...it suits you!", he was telling her.
Dadi was quiet chaffed at all the attention.
"Dadi what is this lutchoo telling you, he just wants breakfast from you coz nobody else is awake yet."
"Dadi laughed, leave him leave him, I miss making breakfast for Dada...he use to have eggs and tarkari every Sundy too!"
Imraan winked at me..
I just shook my head at him, it was awesome how he was so chilled in my family home, I hope Sabera finds somebody like that too.
Imraan always wants to 'hook her up' with his friends so he'll have company. As I walked away I heard Dadi complaining to Imraan about Dilnaas.
When did my husband become a panchaat dadoo.
After brunch we left for Durban, it was so sad leaving but both Imraan and I felt so much more lighter and rested after our break. We finally told my family that the doctor said we expecting twins, everybody was super excited.
We had a very hard time packing the car once again, my mother obviously thinks that I don't eat in Durban, she sent things for my MiL, Kala and Mamagee too!
The lady Imraan delivered the pickles too had a 'parcel' that needed to go back to Durban too!
My aunty from upstairs needed us to buy some stuff from the spice shop in Durban and send it up when somebody was coming...
then came all our goodbyes and warnings to drive safely, call when we reach, come again soon, etc etc...it's funny how the goodbyes can be longer than the visit sometimes, hehe...
I really needed this time with my family though, I miss them...once you get married, it's never the way it use to be.
We slowly backed out of the driveway, as much as its sad to leave, i dont mind so much coz im leaving with my amazing hubby, our marriage and life together is every bit as important as my childhood and the years I spent here...i waved at my family till I couldn't see them in the side mirror anymore and ofcorse I was fast asleep before we even got to the freeway...
Friday, 15 August 2014
Road Trip Series-Part 2: Nails on a Chalkboard
Last nights supper was off the hook...Mummy made all my favorites and most of Imraan's...i definitely ate for three!
That's still unbelievable, Imraan and I haven't told anybody yet, for some reason. We liked keeping it a secret.
Imraan and I woke up little later than normal for a Friday but we were on holiday right!
besides, my mother said I must sleep as much as I can now, because once baby comes I won't get a chance too...i told her the sleepless nights don't last forever?
She gave me a funny look and said I have a lot to learn...
Dadi explained it little better, she said that even though your baby will eventually sleep all night, your sleep would never be the same, once you become a mother its like the centre of your universe...nothing else matters except your child or children...even if they adults you will still have sleepless nights worrying about them.
I understood the words, but not in the way my mother seemed to understand, it almost tied them together, like an invisible thread, they understood a secret, one I will soon be finding out about.
My sister was all over me with constant teasing and comments, she has always been like this. We are Irish twins, I was born 11 months before her, which would have made her the 'mistake' baby, but my brother Ahmed was born 11 months before me!
guess we were Irish triplets?
Growing up, they always told me that I was the mistake, they were perfectly spaced...
Growing up was nice, we were very close and did everything together. Our troubles only started towards the end of high school.
When Ahmed was in Matric he got into a relationship with a girl in Saberas class, she was from a very strict family so she used Sabera and I as excuses to get out of the house...she soon got caught and her relationship with Ahmed was exposed.
Dilnaas is from a wealthy and very strict family. Her parents were understandably furious but the way they made demands without discussion, consensus and understanding caused even more problems.
The minute they found out, they were all over my parents demanding that Ahmed marry Dilnaas immediately!
It was just before final's and my father thought it would be better to have everything calm down and then all 4 of them could come together and discuss the issue at hand.
Her father was hearing none if it, he said they were children and need to be told what to do, not asked. To which my father reasoned that, children shouldn't be forced into marriages or be placed in the position of having to get married without proper thought and mashoora. If you not old enough to be asked an opinion on something that would change your life how can you be old enough to get married?
My parents thought that an amicable solution of taking away privileges, imposing a no contact rule and deferring the marriage talk would have been worth it. Ahmed would have been leaving for UCT in January.
My parents tried talking to Ahmed but with all the heat from her parents and Dilnaas's emotional reaction and his looming final's, Ahmed couldn't stop and think straight either. My father pleaded with him to hold off till things were calmer but Ahmed worried what Dilnaas would do if she thought he was abandoning her to face her family alone.
Dilnaas's father felt like my family was condoning Zinna.
They ended up making Nikkah in her family lounge, mere days before Ahmed's exams, my parents weren't even there.
Instead of completing school and enjoying the carefree freedom of holiday where it seems like you have the rest of your life in front of you, Ahmed completed school and became son-in-law to a tyrant.
Sabera and I didn't like Dilnaas in school because of all her airs and graces and showing off because of her families wealth...now she was our SiL???!!!!
My parents were so disappointed and hurt, this wasn't the dreams they had for their first born and only son.
Marriage should have come a few years into the future and under better circumstances. It wasn't that they were okay with a relationship before marriage, they just thought the situation could be handled differently.
Ahmed had deferred the Mehar the night of the Nikkah and it was quiet a large sum, in all her ' fragile emotions' Dilnaas was still a princess enough to demand a handsome sum.
Initially Ahmed and Dilnaas lived in their respective homes, with Ahmed visiting her often. He gave up his scholarship to UCT and decided to study BCom.Accounting via Unisa so he could remain in Port Shepstone. He started working for my Uncle too.
It was a very difficult time, my parents still wished that Dilnaas parents were able to discuss the issue and had not been so hasty.
Eventually Ahmed started spending more and more time with Dilnaas and her family and once again, without discussion or consensus, he moved in!
He became a 'ghar jamai' and it tore into everything my parents stood for.
My father is humble school teacher, now principal, and as much as we not wealthy, we were always comfortable. Our home wasn't big but Ahmed had his own room and had they discusses living together, my parents would have preferred to have Dilnaas move in, instead of Ahmed leave to live with her parents.
It took along time, with many threatened divorces and other drama but things seem to finally be getting better. Sabera and I still feel like we lost the brother we grew up with, Ahmed had been thrown into adulthood, prematurely.
That Friday morning as I drank tea outside talking to Imraan while he fussed about his car stinking of pickle because his foi's neighbour had packed atchaar in the box she sent with us, the latest M3 pulled into the driveway.the sound of the engine had Imraan whistling...i knew immediately that it was Ahmed and Dilnaas.
I went and stood next to my husband as Dilnaas got out with a screeched, "Faaaaaa-tiiiiiiiii-mmmmmmwah!
She wore a stunning Hanayan abaya, pencil heels that made her atleast 5cm taller than Ahmed and her scarf perched elegantly over the raised bun on her head. her make up was flawless! Oh, why did my mother invite her...sigh.
She hobbled over to us and Imraan quickly bent down into the booth as if he was busy, I looked down at my slept in pj's and old slippers and felt like a hermit in front of the Muslimah version of a porcelain Barbie doll.
"when Ahmed's mummy phoned and said you'll are here for lunch, I had to make those red and blue valvet cuppies Imraan lurrrrrvvvies- Salaams Imraaaaaan, how are you BiL!!", Imraan muttered something even I didn't understand.
As Ahmed tried to lead his wife away, her heel snagged on the hem of her flowy abaya, to which Ahmed said, "I told you not to wear those damn shoes or this dress for that matter!", "but its Jumuah! You have to look your best, besides we are guest.",Dilnaas replied.
"right, I'm off baby...see you in a bit.", Imraan said, kissing me.
Which caused my annoying cousins from upstairs to wolf whistle.
In my ear he whispered, I need to get rid of this shit before the whole car smells like methi! And I can't stay here and listen to nails on a chalkboard, sorry...(referring to Dilnaas)...
After he was gone, Ahmed came back out, leaving for work..."how are you sis, heard you got one in the oven,congrats!", he said giving me a side hug.
I looked up into the face I use to know so well, it was different now, older, tired...it lacked the sparkle and mischief of our childhood. "thanks bro"
"can't wait to have my own too, but I'll spoil yours rotten!", he laughed.
He got into his car and drove off, after finishing his degree he had joined his father-in-laws business. He and Dilnaas had since moved out of the house and now lived in a sea facing apartment in an expensive estate in Uvongo. No doubt a generous gift from daddy dearest.
When I went inside Dilnaas was talking my mothers ear off while mummy and Dadi cooked, "put that radio off, mummy! I hate the sound of some of those adverts!", Sabera stormed in, she has never been a morning person. When she saw Dilnaas she realizes her error and stormed out again- there had been no radio on!
"Fatima, why don't you and Dilnaas go to the lounge, I'm sure you'll got lots to catch up on.
"Later, I need to bath and read Quraan before Imraan gets back."
I too made a quick exit...
Lunch was soooo yum, mummy made mutton biryani and chicken akni, both of which I love. Why two dishes? Well, the princess doesn't eat lentils ofcorse.
As usual, Imraan covered his entire helping of biryani with a ton of dhai, he can eat anything with dhai!
Usually it causes comments and jokes when others see this but today Dilnaas stole the thunder when she asked for a fork and knife and then proceeded to eat her akni using them...however, nobody said anything, even Sabera was speechless!...for now...
it occurred to me that once Dilnaas and Ahmed left my mum and dadi would complain about Dilnaas and Sabera and I would add our two sense...aa much as I hate to admit it, we as bad as any in-laws...
its a vicious cycle that we suffer from, as a community...daughters are diamonds and daughter-in-laws are diamanties.
was the onesided way we treated Dilnaas any different to the way my MiL treated me?
I decided to be the change I wanted to see...to treat her the same way i expected Imraan's family to treat me...
oh! When did I get so mature, thoughtful and serious... i have a fabulous weekend ahead of me...
That's still unbelievable, Imraan and I haven't told anybody yet, for some reason. We liked keeping it a secret.
Imraan and I woke up little later than normal for a Friday but we were on holiday right!
besides, my mother said I must sleep as much as I can now, because once baby comes I won't get a chance too...i told her the sleepless nights don't last forever?
She gave me a funny look and said I have a lot to learn...
Dadi explained it little better, she said that even though your baby will eventually sleep all night, your sleep would never be the same, once you become a mother its like the centre of your universe...nothing else matters except your child or children...even if they adults you will still have sleepless nights worrying about them.
I understood the words, but not in the way my mother seemed to understand, it almost tied them together, like an invisible thread, they understood a secret, one I will soon be finding out about.
My sister was all over me with constant teasing and comments, she has always been like this. We are Irish twins, I was born 11 months before her, which would have made her the 'mistake' baby, but my brother Ahmed was born 11 months before me!
guess we were Irish triplets?
Growing up, they always told me that I was the mistake, they were perfectly spaced...
Growing up was nice, we were very close and did everything together. Our troubles only started towards the end of high school.
When Ahmed was in Matric he got into a relationship with a girl in Saberas class, she was from a very strict family so she used Sabera and I as excuses to get out of the house...she soon got caught and her relationship with Ahmed was exposed.
Dilnaas is from a wealthy and very strict family. Her parents were understandably furious but the way they made demands without discussion, consensus and understanding caused even more problems.
The minute they found out, they were all over my parents demanding that Ahmed marry Dilnaas immediately!
It was just before final's and my father thought it would be better to have everything calm down and then all 4 of them could come together and discuss the issue at hand.
Her father was hearing none if it, he said they were children and need to be told what to do, not asked. To which my father reasoned that, children shouldn't be forced into marriages or be placed in the position of having to get married without proper thought and mashoora. If you not old enough to be asked an opinion on something that would change your life how can you be old enough to get married?
My parents thought that an amicable solution of taking away privileges, imposing a no contact rule and deferring the marriage talk would have been worth it. Ahmed would have been leaving for UCT in January.
My parents tried talking to Ahmed but with all the heat from her parents and Dilnaas's emotional reaction and his looming final's, Ahmed couldn't stop and think straight either. My father pleaded with him to hold off till things were calmer but Ahmed worried what Dilnaas would do if she thought he was abandoning her to face her family alone.
Dilnaas's father felt like my family was condoning Zinna.
They ended up making Nikkah in her family lounge, mere days before Ahmed's exams, my parents weren't even there.
Instead of completing school and enjoying the carefree freedom of holiday where it seems like you have the rest of your life in front of you, Ahmed completed school and became son-in-law to a tyrant.
Sabera and I didn't like Dilnaas in school because of all her airs and graces and showing off because of her families wealth...now she was our SiL???!!!!
My parents were so disappointed and hurt, this wasn't the dreams they had for their first born and only son.
Marriage should have come a few years into the future and under better circumstances. It wasn't that they were okay with a relationship before marriage, they just thought the situation could be handled differently.
Ahmed had deferred the Mehar the night of the Nikkah and it was quiet a large sum, in all her ' fragile emotions' Dilnaas was still a princess enough to demand a handsome sum.
Initially Ahmed and Dilnaas lived in their respective homes, with Ahmed visiting her often. He gave up his scholarship to UCT and decided to study BCom.Accounting via Unisa so he could remain in Port Shepstone. He started working for my Uncle too.
It was a very difficult time, my parents still wished that Dilnaas parents were able to discuss the issue and had not been so hasty.
Eventually Ahmed started spending more and more time with Dilnaas and her family and once again, without discussion or consensus, he moved in!
He became a 'ghar jamai' and it tore into everything my parents stood for.
My father is humble school teacher, now principal, and as much as we not wealthy, we were always comfortable. Our home wasn't big but Ahmed had his own room and had they discusses living together, my parents would have preferred to have Dilnaas move in, instead of Ahmed leave to live with her parents.
It took along time, with many threatened divorces and other drama but things seem to finally be getting better. Sabera and I still feel like we lost the brother we grew up with, Ahmed had been thrown into adulthood, prematurely.
That Friday morning as I drank tea outside talking to Imraan while he fussed about his car stinking of pickle because his foi's neighbour had packed atchaar in the box she sent with us, the latest M3 pulled into the driveway.the sound of the engine had Imraan whistling...i knew immediately that it was Ahmed and Dilnaas.
I went and stood next to my husband as Dilnaas got out with a screeched, "Faaaaaa-tiiiiiiiii-mmmmmmwah!
She wore a stunning Hanayan abaya, pencil heels that made her atleast 5cm taller than Ahmed and her scarf perched elegantly over the raised bun on her head. her make up was flawless! Oh, why did my mother invite her...sigh.
She hobbled over to us and Imraan quickly bent down into the booth as if he was busy, I looked down at my slept in pj's and old slippers and felt like a hermit in front of the Muslimah version of a porcelain Barbie doll.
"when Ahmed's mummy phoned and said you'll are here for lunch, I had to make those red and blue valvet cuppies Imraan lurrrrrvvvies- Salaams Imraaaaaan, how are you BiL!!", Imraan muttered something even I didn't understand.
As Ahmed tried to lead his wife away, her heel snagged on the hem of her flowy abaya, to which Ahmed said, "I told you not to wear those damn shoes or this dress for that matter!", "but its Jumuah! You have to look your best, besides we are guest.",Dilnaas replied.
"right, I'm off baby...see you in a bit.", Imraan said, kissing me.
Which caused my annoying cousins from upstairs to wolf whistle.
In my ear he whispered, I need to get rid of this shit before the whole car smells like methi! And I can't stay here and listen to nails on a chalkboard, sorry...(referring to Dilnaas)...
After he was gone, Ahmed came back out, leaving for work..."how are you sis, heard you got one in the oven,congrats!", he said giving me a side hug.
I looked up into the face I use to know so well, it was different now, older, tired...it lacked the sparkle and mischief of our childhood. "thanks bro"
"can't wait to have my own too, but I'll spoil yours rotten!", he laughed.
He got into his car and drove off, after finishing his degree he had joined his father-in-laws business. He and Dilnaas had since moved out of the house and now lived in a sea facing apartment in an expensive estate in Uvongo. No doubt a generous gift from daddy dearest.
When I went inside Dilnaas was talking my mothers ear off while mummy and Dadi cooked, "put that radio off, mummy! I hate the sound of some of those adverts!", Sabera stormed in, she has never been a morning person. When she saw Dilnaas she realizes her error and stormed out again- there had been no radio on!
"Fatima, why don't you and Dilnaas go to the lounge, I'm sure you'll got lots to catch up on.
"Later, I need to bath and read Quraan before Imraan gets back."
I too made a quick exit...
Lunch was soooo yum, mummy made mutton biryani and chicken akni, both of which I love. Why two dishes? Well, the princess doesn't eat lentils ofcorse.
As usual, Imraan covered his entire helping of biryani with a ton of dhai, he can eat anything with dhai!
Usually it causes comments and jokes when others see this but today Dilnaas stole the thunder when she asked for a fork and knife and then proceeded to eat her akni using them...however, nobody said anything, even Sabera was speechless!...for now...
it occurred to me that once Dilnaas and Ahmed left my mum and dadi would complain about Dilnaas and Sabera and I would add our two sense...aa much as I hate to admit it, we as bad as any in-laws...
its a vicious cycle that we suffer from, as a community...daughters are diamonds and daughter-in-laws are diamanties.
was the onesided way we treated Dilnaas any different to the way my MiL treated me?
I decided to be the change I wanted to see...to treat her the same way i expected Imraan's family to treat me...
oh! When did I get so mature, thoughtful and serious... i have a fabulous weekend ahead of me...
Thursday, 14 August 2014
Road Trip Series-Part 1: Destination HOME
Today Imraan and i got off work early so we could load up and leave for Port Shepstone.
We were only going till Sunday so we shared a small suitcase,but you would never say! Our booth and backseat were full, granted we have a small polo Gti, but still.
My MiL packed a million little this and that's for us for the 'road'...its only an hours drive, mind you.
She also sent 'durban' things for my mother, coz you know how asmall place like NPS doesn't have shops. Although she did give Imraan a rather long sea food shopping list.
My Kala, Nasreens mum, had a 'parcel' to send for my mum.
Then, at the last minute, Imraan's Gori foi, Khatijah, phoned to ask if we can take one small parcel for her neighbors niece in Albersville, this lady also wanted to know if we will be stopping in Umzinto (coz you know its 'on the way') because she had a urgent wedding invite card she needed to send to her sister.
despite telling her we won't be going to umzinto, her son who came to drop of the 'parcel'- a big heavy box-handed us the invite, 'just in case you'll stop'...
(erm, stop? Why, do they live on the side of the freeway)
after we crammed everything into the car, we were finally ready to hit the road.
I last remembered passing Isipingo , my head heavy against the headrest. when I opened my eyes again we where just taking the Hibberdene turn-off.
"Hi sleepy-head...can you hear anything?" Imraan asked me with amusement.
I listened for a moment, puzzled..."nope", I replied confused.
"Ah, good then, that snoring sound is gone!" he said, laughing at his own lame joke.
I swatted at his arm playfully and he jerked the steering wheel to right and back giving me a huge fright!
"don't do that!" I exclaimed loudly, placing a hand on my abdomen.
"I didn't, you the one that hit me!" he said
"oh please, just drive"..." yes boss" he winked back...i stuck out my tongue at him and turned to watch the ocean as afternoon turned to evening...
I really love my husband, we have so much to look forward too.
Before I knew it we were pulling into the driveway of my parents home in Shelly Beach. The ground floor of the house is where I grew up and got married from. Upstairs, my fathers brother lives, they have a view of the distant ocean from their lounge and balcony.
The minute I walked through the front door, I was a child again... I flopped onto the sofa while my mother and Dadi fussed over me.
" put your feet up""why you carrying things"" you want some tea"
ahh...the smell of my mummy's cooking, the ding ding of the old grandfather clock in the passage, the feel of our leather couches, the smell of Dadis favourite furniture polish...i was home!...only one part missing..
"oh, stop fussing over her!...she's pregnant not an invalid..."
"Shew, looks like you moving in with all the stuff you brought for the weekend!" my sister said sarcastically as she came into the lounge. I smiled brightly at her, "Nice to see you too, Sabera." I said happily....right, now i was truly home!
Imraan who was just bringing in the last of our stuff, had heard her..."don't give her all those gifts you bought her, Tima...this big mouth doesn't deserve them"
I saw Sabera getting ready with a cheeky remark of her own, I quickly tuned them out...they would carry on for hours!
I headed to the kitchen to find my father...it was good to be home!
We were only going till Sunday so we shared a small suitcase,but you would never say! Our booth and backseat were full, granted we have a small polo Gti, but still.
My MiL packed a million little this and that's for us for the 'road'...its only an hours drive, mind you.
She also sent 'durban' things for my mother, coz you know how asmall place like NPS doesn't have shops. Although she did give Imraan a rather long sea food shopping list.
My Kala, Nasreens mum, had a 'parcel' to send for my mum.
Then, at the last minute, Imraan's Gori foi, Khatijah, phoned to ask if we can take one small parcel for her neighbors niece in Albersville, this lady also wanted to know if we will be stopping in Umzinto (coz you know its 'on the way') because she had a urgent wedding invite card she needed to send to her sister.
despite telling her we won't be going to umzinto, her son who came to drop of the 'parcel'- a big heavy box-handed us the invite, 'just in case you'll stop'...
(erm, stop? Why, do they live on the side of the freeway)
after we crammed everything into the car, we were finally ready to hit the road.
I last remembered passing Isipingo , my head heavy against the headrest. when I opened my eyes again we where just taking the Hibberdene turn-off.
"Hi sleepy-head...can you hear anything?" Imraan asked me with amusement.
I listened for a moment, puzzled..."nope", I replied confused.
"Ah, good then, that snoring sound is gone!" he said, laughing at his own lame joke.
I swatted at his arm playfully and he jerked the steering wheel to right and back giving me a huge fright!
"don't do that!" I exclaimed loudly, placing a hand on my abdomen.
"I didn't, you the one that hit me!" he said
"oh please, just drive"..." yes boss" he winked back...i stuck out my tongue at him and turned to watch the ocean as afternoon turned to evening...
I really love my husband, we have so much to look forward too.
Before I knew it we were pulling into the driveway of my parents home in Shelly Beach. The ground floor of the house is where I grew up and got married from. Upstairs, my fathers brother lives, they have a view of the distant ocean from their lounge and balcony.
The minute I walked through the front door, I was a child again... I flopped onto the sofa while my mother and Dadi fussed over me.
" put your feet up""why you carrying things"" you want some tea"
ahh...the smell of my mummy's cooking, the ding ding of the old grandfather clock in the passage, the feel of our leather couches, the smell of Dadis favourite furniture polish...i was home!...only one part missing..
"oh, stop fussing over her!...she's pregnant not an invalid..."
"Shew, looks like you moving in with all the stuff you brought for the weekend!" my sister said sarcastically as she came into the lounge. I smiled brightly at her, "Nice to see you too, Sabera." I said happily....right, now i was truly home!
Imraan who was just bringing in the last of our stuff, had heard her..."don't give her all those gifts you bought her, Tima...this big mouth doesn't deserve them"
I saw Sabera getting ready with a cheeky remark of her own, I quickly tuned them out...they would carry on for hours!
I headed to the kitchen to find my father...it was good to be home!
Wednesday, 6 August 2014
Flash Back Mini Series-Part 4: Nikkah of Fatima to Imraan (30/08/13) and happily ever after...
My friends really helped to pull my wedding plans off the ground, I wanted small and simple because the wedding is just one day, it's the marriage that needs to last a lifetime.
Imraan and I spent so little on our actual wedding that our parents gave us the money they would have spent as a bacshish1. We invested most of it, besides the portion we spent on our honeymoon to Thailand and Bali. It was totally worth it.
On the day of our Nikkah, my parents had a lunch at the Marburg community Hall after Jumuah. It was a simple dholl and rice function with paper plates and cups and Kit Kat. All the Musallahi's2 were told to come and most of the people we knew in Port Shepstone showed up, including all out of town guest from both families who were already around for the Nikkah3. It was so laid back and informal, I didn't see Imraan but I knew he was there somewhere.
I chatted to my cousins and friends after a morning of pampering that Kats had booked for me at a local spa.
I was whisked away after lunch for a hairdresser and make up appointment and I insisted on minimal make up. I wanted to look like me, a more polished me but still me...not a whole new painted person Imraan wouldn't recognize.
Back home I changed into the beautiful slim cut, plain white and navy blue dress I had designed, it was modest, decent and made me feel like a princess never the less. I draped my hijaab4 using an online tutorial luths had sourced for me of a style I had always admired.
I then prayed Asr and stayed on the musalaah5 making dua until I heard the Nikkah commencing over the Bilal Musjid Receiver.
My heart skipped too many beats as I heard the Moulana ask Imraan if he accepted me into his Nikaah and then Imraan repeated the dua.
It took a few moments before I realized I was now MARRIED!
My mum, Dadi, sister, SiL, Nasreen, lots of aunties and cousins burst into the room soon after, only as they hugged me and congratulates me, did I being to cry.
Soon the men arrived from the Musjid, I was showered with Dua and advice and when I finally found myself in my fathers arms, I cried rivers. My bags were in the lounge already and Imraan's family started hooting from the bottom of the road all the way up our drive way.
I prayed Magrib in my room then I left with Imraan to check into a hotel in St. Micheals at Sea.
We rejoined his family for supper at his Aunties home on Millionaires Avenue.
We were back at the hotel after Esha and finally alone and suddenly much too shy.
Saturday afternoon we took a drive to Durban and stayed the night at a Hotel in Umhalanga.
On Sunday, our Walima took place at the NMJ Hall...Imraans family outdid themselves with a silver and teal theme to match my dress. Up till today, people still talk about the taste of the biryani.
Instead of centre pieces, Sumaya had made bowls of seasonal fruit for guest to eat. There was no stage or flower arrangements. We tried to be tasteful without being wasteful.
For the walima, my Dadi and Imraan's Dadi, coincidently wore the same dress. When I asked my Dadi about it she told me that when Imraan's Dadi saw her she came over and said, " tu boor expensive-expensive kaproo lidu.6"
To which my Dadi replied, "whu expensive-expensive, boor sastu, Mara waaste famous fabric 50%off didoo7."
Imraan's Dadi opened her eyes wide, "haatchi waat?"8, she asked.
And my Dadi replied, " haa...buy 1 (pointing to herself)- get 1 free! (pointing to Imraan's Dadi)
My Dadi was pleasantly surprised that Imraan's Dadi laughed whole heartedly at her joke, thus immediately making the two old ladies, firm friends. They spent the rest of the function together, talking about olden days and when people commented on their dresses they replied that the bride and groom got their good tastes from the Dadis'.
Imraan and I had each recorded messages to our families that were played out at the Walima. I had so much fun that day..close family lingered long after lunch.
We spent two more nights in Umhlanga before flying to Thailand and then Bali.
It was pure bliss!
We quickly settled into married life on our return, Imraan went back to work as a junior attorney at the firm he still works for and I completed my degree.
In January I started full time at the same school I had done my prac, as the ball skills and speech and drama coach to special needs children.
Our story had only just began...The rest, as they say, is history!
Glossary:
Imraan and I spent so little on our actual wedding that our parents gave us the money they would have spent as a bacshish1. We invested most of it, besides the portion we spent on our honeymoon to Thailand and Bali. It was totally worth it.
On the day of our Nikkah, my parents had a lunch at the Marburg community Hall after Jumuah. It was a simple dholl and rice function with paper plates and cups and Kit Kat. All the Musallahi's2 were told to come and most of the people we knew in Port Shepstone showed up, including all out of town guest from both families who were already around for the Nikkah3. It was so laid back and informal, I didn't see Imraan but I knew he was there somewhere.
I chatted to my cousins and friends after a morning of pampering that Kats had booked for me at a local spa.
I was whisked away after lunch for a hairdresser and make up appointment and I insisted on minimal make up. I wanted to look like me, a more polished me but still me...not a whole new painted person Imraan wouldn't recognize.
Back home I changed into the beautiful slim cut, plain white and navy blue dress I had designed, it was modest, decent and made me feel like a princess never the less. I draped my hijaab4 using an online tutorial luths had sourced for me of a style I had always admired.
I then prayed Asr and stayed on the musalaah5 making dua until I heard the Nikkah commencing over the Bilal Musjid Receiver.
My heart skipped too many beats as I heard the Moulana ask Imraan if he accepted me into his Nikaah and then Imraan repeated the dua.
It took a few moments before I realized I was now MARRIED!
My mum, Dadi, sister, SiL, Nasreen, lots of aunties and cousins burst into the room soon after, only as they hugged me and congratulates me, did I being to cry.
Soon the men arrived from the Musjid, I was showered with Dua and advice and when I finally found myself in my fathers arms, I cried rivers. My bags were in the lounge already and Imraan's family started hooting from the bottom of the road all the way up our drive way.
I prayed Magrib in my room then I left with Imraan to check into a hotel in St. Micheals at Sea.
We rejoined his family for supper at his Aunties home on Millionaires Avenue.
We were back at the hotel after Esha and finally alone and suddenly much too shy.
Saturday afternoon we took a drive to Durban and stayed the night at a Hotel in Umhalanga.
On Sunday, our Walima took place at the NMJ Hall...Imraans family outdid themselves with a silver and teal theme to match my dress. Up till today, people still talk about the taste of the biryani.
Instead of centre pieces, Sumaya had made bowls of seasonal fruit for guest to eat. There was no stage or flower arrangements. We tried to be tasteful without being wasteful.
For the walima, my Dadi and Imraan's Dadi, coincidently wore the same dress. When I asked my Dadi about it she told me that when Imraan's Dadi saw her she came over and said, " tu boor expensive-expensive kaproo lidu.6"
To which my Dadi replied, "whu expensive-expensive, boor sastu, Mara waaste famous fabric 50%off didoo7."
Imraan's Dadi opened her eyes wide, "haatchi waat?"8, she asked.
And my Dadi replied, " haa...buy 1 (pointing to herself)- get 1 free! (pointing to Imraan's Dadi)
My Dadi was pleasantly surprised that Imraan's Dadi laughed whole heartedly at her joke, thus immediately making the two old ladies, firm friends. They spent the rest of the function together, talking about olden days and when people commented on their dresses they replied that the bride and groom got their good tastes from the Dadis'.
Imraan and I had each recorded messages to our families that were played out at the Walima. I had so much fun that day..close family lingered long after lunch.
We spent two more nights in Umhlanga before flying to Thailand and then Bali.
It was pure bliss!
We quickly settled into married life on our return, Imraan went back to work as a junior attorney at the firm he still works for and I completed my degree.
In January I started full time at the same school I had done my prac, as the ball skills and speech and drama coach to special needs children.
Our story had only just began...The rest, as they say, is history!
Glossary:
- gift
- men who prayed at the musjid
- islamic wedding ceremony
- headscarf
- prayer mat
- very expensive fabric you bought
- what expensive, very cheep, for me the store gave 50% off
- for true!!!
Thursday, 24 July 2014
Part 9- Family scandales and skeletons
I was seriously getting home-sick now... I missed my parents and sister and I had the most intense craving for the Chicken Tikkah pizza that one of the local food outlets in my hometown makes.
I must talk to Imraan about going to Port Shepstone after Eid, it was long overdue and quite frankly we could do with a sea-side break.
Most Guji DiLs go home for their first Ramadaan, at very least for a few weeks, but Imraan's family was paranoid and I didn't want to drag up any old ghost, especially after I noticed that Sumaya too, doesn't go home for Ramadaan. She did go for a week before though, brought back lovely savouries from her mum and nice things from a butchery in laudium.
Before I got married, Imraan told me about Bilal's first wife Farzana, she went home for her first Ramadaan and then decided she's not coming back. Nothing Bilal or my in-laws said would change her mind.
I also heard that sumaya and farzana got along really well, like sisters almost, so when the trouble started, Bilal accused Sumaya of causing some if it. (that may explain why Sumaya has taken so long to start warming to me.)
After a long drawn out dispute and trying to make it work living apart, Bilal and Farzana eventually decided to divorce. Much to my MiLs horror! She couldn't stand the tainted reputation and whispers, I'm sure.
Shortly after the talaaq, Bilal married Shiraan in a small Nikkah and backyard walima, nine months later...out popped the twins.
Shireen is my MiLs sisters daughter, at the time she was fending off a stigma of her own...the community was buzzing over her broken engagement after her fiancé called it off to make secret nikkah to the 'madragee' secretary from his office. Shireens mother was in a panic, Shireen was already 25 at the time and Imraan's Kala didn't want her daughter to be sitting on the shelf.
The two unfortunate situations made Bilal and Shireen a perfect match in every bodies eyes and my MiL had always had a soft spot for Shiraan because she and Bilal had been born a week apart, their mothers had confinement together. It was ment to be for then, apparently...(to bad they don't act 'ment to be,now')
Wait, wait...i stopped my self, backspace that thought...never judge anybody's relationship no matter how it looks from the outside, least you be wrong, worse if a similar situation should befall you, too.
Not like I didn't have my own fair share of time in the rumour spot light...when I met Imraan, Nasreen had just gotten engaged and rumours were flying around that I was jealous and trying to break off her engagement, after all, she's 6 months younger than me and getting married first. The rumours almost ruined our friendship, but good thing Nasreens so level-headed.
More than a year ago, when Nasreen heard that a boy from Port Shepstone was coming to see her, she immediately phoned to ask me if his name was familiar, I told her I had had a classmate by the same name, if it was the same boy, we were sort of friends in school and he was very nice, super intelligent too and cute! But I wasn't sure, I hadn't seen this boy in ages. Nasreen didn't mind, she was glad to have a positive vibe because this prospect did sound promising.
Things worked out for Nasreen... Muhammad was a "hunky, quantity surveyor" who grew up in Port Shepstone but studied, worked and lived in Durban. Nasreen never wanted to be a live-in DiL so for her, that was a real plus. The fact that Muhammad's parents lived almost an hour away, didnt hurt his rating either. She really makes me laugh.
At her engagement I immediately recognized Muhammad as the same one I had meant now with a designer beard.
When I went to congratulate the shy couple, Muhammad recognized me and the three of us fell into easy conversation, I think Nas&Mo were kind of glad to have a mutual buffer. Ofcorse the gossip mongers' watched on, eyes wide open...
The very next day the damaal started. I was accused of jealousy, conceit, lies etc it was very stressful because my relationship with Nas was on the line as well as her engagement.
Nas was understandably upset and full of doubt, luckily I managed to convince her that whatever school day comradeship Mo and I had was long in the past and it would never match to the relationship she'll have with him as husband and wife. Plus, I would always respect the boundaries of that. Nasreen is very level-head and once the rumors died down, things were fine.
Luckily Imraan had heard this whole damaal straight from me before he even proposed, ah...Imraans proposal, now that's a story!... But, for another time...too bad I didn't keep a diary back then...
I must talk to Imraan about going to Port Shepstone after Eid, it was long overdue and quite frankly we could do with a sea-side break.
Most Guji DiLs go home for their first Ramadaan, at very least for a few weeks, but Imraan's family was paranoid and I didn't want to drag up any old ghost, especially after I noticed that Sumaya too, doesn't go home for Ramadaan. She did go for a week before though, brought back lovely savouries from her mum and nice things from a butchery in laudium.
Before I got married, Imraan told me about Bilal's first wife Farzana, she went home for her first Ramadaan and then decided she's not coming back. Nothing Bilal or my in-laws said would change her mind.
I also heard that sumaya and farzana got along really well, like sisters almost, so when the trouble started, Bilal accused Sumaya of causing some if it. (that may explain why Sumaya has taken so long to start warming to me.)
After a long drawn out dispute and trying to make it work living apart, Bilal and Farzana eventually decided to divorce. Much to my MiLs horror! She couldn't stand the tainted reputation and whispers, I'm sure.
Shortly after the talaaq, Bilal married Shiraan in a small Nikkah and backyard walima, nine months later...out popped the twins.
Shireen is my MiLs sisters daughter, at the time she was fending off a stigma of her own...the community was buzzing over her broken engagement after her fiancé called it off to make secret nikkah to the 'madragee' secretary from his office. Shireens mother was in a panic, Shireen was already 25 at the time and Imraan's Kala didn't want her daughter to be sitting on the shelf.
The two unfortunate situations made Bilal and Shireen a perfect match in every bodies eyes and my MiL had always had a soft spot for Shiraan because she and Bilal had been born a week apart, their mothers had confinement together. It was ment to be for then, apparently...(to bad they don't act 'ment to be,now')
Wait, wait...i stopped my self, backspace that thought...never judge anybody's relationship no matter how it looks from the outside, least you be wrong, worse if a similar situation should befall you, too.
Not like I didn't have my own fair share of time in the rumour spot light...when I met Imraan, Nasreen had just gotten engaged and rumours were flying around that I was jealous and trying to break off her engagement, after all, she's 6 months younger than me and getting married first. The rumours almost ruined our friendship, but good thing Nasreens so level-headed.
More than a year ago, when Nasreen heard that a boy from Port Shepstone was coming to see her, she immediately phoned to ask me if his name was familiar, I told her I had had a classmate by the same name, if it was the same boy, we were sort of friends in school and he was very nice, super intelligent too and cute! But I wasn't sure, I hadn't seen this boy in ages. Nasreen didn't mind, she was glad to have a positive vibe because this prospect did sound promising.
Things worked out for Nasreen... Muhammad was a "hunky, quantity surveyor" who grew up in Port Shepstone but studied, worked and lived in Durban. Nasreen never wanted to be a live-in DiL so for her, that was a real plus. The fact that Muhammad's parents lived almost an hour away, didnt hurt his rating either. She really makes me laugh.
At her engagement I immediately recognized Muhammad as the same one I had meant now with a designer beard.
When I went to congratulate the shy couple, Muhammad recognized me and the three of us fell into easy conversation, I think Nas&Mo were kind of glad to have a mutual buffer. Ofcorse the gossip mongers' watched on, eyes wide open...
The very next day the damaal started. I was accused of jealousy, conceit, lies etc it was very stressful because my relationship with Nas was on the line as well as her engagement.
Nas was understandably upset and full of doubt, luckily I managed to convince her that whatever school day comradeship Mo and I had was long in the past and it would never match to the relationship she'll have with him as husband and wife. Plus, I would always respect the boundaries of that. Nasreen is very level-head and once the rumors died down, things were fine.
Luckily Imraan had heard this whole damaal straight from me before he even proposed, ah...Imraans proposal, now that's a story!... But, for another time...too bad I didn't keep a diary back then...
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