Part 66: Emerging...

I felt like I was struggling beneath the surface, drowning...but not wanting to emerge.

Slowly the weeks were ticking by and life was going on for everybody else...
For everybody else except me!

I submerged myself in tilawaat and zikr...it was the only solace for my broken heart.

It was all I could now do for Imraan.

I felt nothing about life or the world, I barely knew what day it was and I certainly wasn't aware of the passing of time.

But, alas...time waits for no man.

Shireen came to visit, amongst the sea of other visitors, her visit stuck out.

Most people who came, asked how I am awkwardly..they mumbled kind words and duas and then they felt lost looking at me, I didn't blame them...even I was lost. Most people usually turned to mummy or dilnaas or sabera, whoever else was there...they usually spoke about me in stage whispers, as if I wasn't there.

"Kaam che? Shame man...she's eating ne hando?bechari...whoo kaari?"

I usually just shut it out and continue my ibbadaat, my essale sawaab.

The more I turned to Allah, the better I felt. I was doing something worthwhile for Imraan...i was doing all I could do!

Shireens visit was different, after the awkwardness, she burst forth with news, to exciting to contain...she was pregnant again!

Her happiness and excitement was evident as she gushed about this and that. She didn't seem to mind my lack of response nor did she notice my growing anger.

After she left I was reeling. How dare she! She was cruel and heartless!!! Here I was, a widow before 30...with two fatherless children and all she cared about was herself! I didn't need a reminder how perfect everybody else life was! I was so angry, I cried hot angry tears into my pillow.

Emotions gushed out of me from deep within my soul. I begged Allah to fill my heart with sukoon. I couldn't take this pain anymore.

Once I had calmed down I could think straight and I realized how wrong I was. Shireen had every right to be happy...every right to enjoy her good fortune...every right to bask in the glow of her pregnancy. What right did I have to wish her less joy?

Death had left my children fatherless but my well of self pity was leaving them motherless!

Nobody knows better than me, how short life is...perfect can be snatched away in a minute. Happiness can turn to sadness, in only a second...

I lost my husband but I shouldn't be robbing my babies of a mother too.

I woke up and washed my face...i creped into Ahmeds old room just as my mother was preparing a bottle to feed Zeyaan.

I took the bottle from her and lifted the baby, wordlessly. My mother looked surprised but she didn't say anything. I sat with Zeyaan as he nestled against me his crying immediately stopped as I placed the bottle at his little rosebud lips.

His eyes were the exact same colour that Imraan's had been, I realized as Zeyaan looked up at me. His eyes never left my face as he drank his feed in my arms.

Before I could even burp him, he softly tucked into the nook of my arm and fell asleep.

I looked up to were mummy had been standing, watching us...only to realize she had slowly left without me noticing.

I carried my baby son to the bed and laid down next to him. I glanced at Zehrah sleeping in the cot next to the bed and I fell asleep.

I woke up from the first restfull sleep since the accident. I gazed at my two perfect little babies and  realized that, that moment...that single moment, was the most peaceful one, I had had, in weeks.

It was almost perfect....almost, but not quite.

this sadness will always hang at the edge some where...but it doesn't have to consume me. It tinges my life and thoughts, but it cannot cripple me.

I am no longer Imraan's wife...but I am Zehrah and Zeyaans mother.
Imraan is no longer here...but I am!

I am all that they have...and I owe it to them to be strong. I owe it to Imraan, to be the best that I can be.

Who else would be able to tell them what an amazing man their father was?
Was...were...had been.
All we have left, are memories.

Part 56: Generous Genies

Before we left on Sunday, Sabera pulled me aside to tell me she felt certain about this but very nervous.

My parents were very pleased.

I couldn't believe that we had a wedding to do while I was in so pregnant. I tried talking my father into delaying the wedding till after I had the babies but he laughed at me! There was no way.

My mother said I would complain even more with two newborns. Well, at least I have something to do now while Imraan's at work, planing Saberas wedding should full my days.
This coming weekend will be the Janna-Charow, since Sabera hates 'Indian Traditions', it's just going to be house people...Luqmaans brother and his family will be coming down since they haven't met Sabera yet.

Good thing its a small function, I can't exactly find anything comfortable to wear. I don't know when they going to have the Nikkah but I guess I shall have to wear a tent for the Walima!

On our way back from Port Shepstone we stopped to visit Imraan's parents. It's so weird going there, our room doesn't feel like 'our room' anymore though we read esha there.
I looked around it amazed how my perspective had changed in such a short time.
Even though we visited for a short time, it was so nice to see Sumaya, I really miss that bond we had.

Shireens pregnant again and very excited. She's already complaining about aches and pains and can barely keep up with the twins now.

My MiL spoke excitedly about her up coming trip, she is going to Dubai for two weeks with all her sisters, her brother and his wife. She promised me lots of gifts but I told her not to worry, she should just go enjoy herself.

" Jaa-Ja, my kushi is to spend on you'll...if I don't spoil you'll I won't be happy, no no...I heard about all the souks there, Il look for nice nice things.", She said.

" Jee, but it's not cheap there.", I said. Her open generosity was making me uncomfortable, our family was quite big, I didn't want her to feel like I expected gifts. It would be difficult for Mil to buy a ton of things for all of us, though I am sure my Fil would give her a generous allowance.

We left after a light tea and I was just falling asleep in the car when I heard Imraan say, " I gave mummy some spending money from our side for herself, about R10 000."

Ahhh...it was my husbands generosity that she was flaunting, now that made more sense, I could sleep easy.

Part 43: dholl and yellow rice...

Friday evening with Ayesha was such a laugh! She had tons of tales about her new SiL that had us all in stitches!

Nothing brings guji women together quiet like gibbaat of other guji women...so while Ayesha had enough stories for many a novels...she also had a very attentive audience made up of MiL, Sumaya, Shireen and I.

Ayesha's youngest BiL had just married a month ago and his new bride had brought her own drama to the household.
Ayesha gleefully told us about the day her MiL had to rewash Every.Single.Thing in the kitchen...Everything!

"Everything!", exclaimed Shireen, " Why on earth!"

" Ay that Gori Bhen has a problem! She likes to wash dishes too much! How she washed everything that time we came for supper..Areh areh...then she put clean clean dishes in the dishwasher! Jaa-Jaa!", My MiL said.

Sumaya was nodding in agreement, while shireen and I looked at each other shocked!

"Wait...wait...it gets better!", Ayesha said,  trying to hold her laughter.

"when Suleman and Rizwaana came back from honeymoon, after supper we never let her help, nuwe dulhaan and everything...so as usual my MiL 'rinsed' all the supper dishes and loaded the dishwasher, she always puts it on after breakfast everyday.

Anyway, in the morning when I got the kitchen I set the table and made breakfast and lunch for Qasim and the boys.

After breakfast my MiL went to put the dirty 'rinshed' breakfast dishes in the washer but the dishwasher was empty!

Aye she was panicing!

Then Rizwaana told us she woke up early and emptied the dishwasher and packed all the clean dishes away!"

We all looked at Ayesha with our mouths hanging open as we put two and two together!

O.M.W!

Ayesha nodded laughing!

"Yup, she thoughed all the dirty dishes in there were already washed! That's how clean my MiL rinses them! So she packed it away...
My MiL almost fainted! She rewashed Every.Single.Thing in the kitchen...by HAND! Coz she didn't know where what went!", Ayesha ended in laughter...

Shoh...i almost felt sorry for her MiL, poor thing! And poor Rizwaana! She must have been mortified!

"wait wait! That's not all...have you ever eaten dholl and kitchri?", Ayesha asked us.

" eeew! No!", Sumaya said.

" Ayee...whats that?", Shireen asked.

" That's what I had for Jumuah lunch last Friday!", Ayesha said with a naughty smile.

" Jaa-Jaa!...ghandi waat!", MiL said, shaking her head at Ayesha.

"Last Friday my MiL told Rizwaana to cook, so Rizwaan decided to make dholl and rice, aloo fry, paapar, fried fish, sorji, salsa and she even went and broke mangos from the neighbours tree to make fresh methi pickle...", Ayesha explained.

"Sounds yummy!", I said.

" Yah, it was! She went through so much trouble...except she stressed herself out so much she put Urud(tumeric) in the rice!", Ayesha said in another fit of laughter.

" whaaaaat!!!", we all said together, laughing in disbelief!

"yup! She tried to rinse it out but it was too late and she couldn't  waste 4 cups of rice! Yes...she made enough yellow rice for 20 people!", Ayesha finished.

Shame, I was amused but I also felt sorry for this Rizwaana girl...being a new DiL is no easy thing...little boo-boos kinda freak you out.

For the rest of the evening Ayesha entertained us with all her stories...but the real gem of the day came from my MiL who said...

Drum roll please...

" at least my DiLs have ackaal (common sense)..."

Oh but she said it so off handedly we didn't even get a chance to bask in the glow of her backhanded compliment...

Part 41: End to the crazy, start of new beginnings

Yesterday, I woke up to a brightly lit room, as the events of the previous day came to mind, I shot up from bed..."hey sleepy head, how you feeling", Imraan spoke from the  desk in the corner of our room, he was typing on his laptop but he was still in PJs.

I looked at my bedside clock, 10:45, OMW!!! I was majorly late for work...!!!!

" I called us both in sick!" Imraan said, reading my mind again.

I looked at him shocked...Imraan never takes sick leave...a few hours off, yah...but a whole day?!

I couldn't seem to find my voice.

" you hungry ?", Imraan asked as he walked towards me, he bent to kiss me..."wash up and meet me in the kitchen", he smiled as he left.

I got out of bed wearily, in the bathroom I stared at myself in the mirror...after I washed up, I went to the kitchen, Imraan's was already sitting to eat

..i wanted to ask him about the helicopter when the twins walked in with Shireen...

Yusuf had a bouquet of red roses that he gave to me, " Thank you for finding us yesterday.", he said to me.

 I hugged him.

Yusair handed me a gift bag, " we sorry for being so naughty we won't do it again", he said...

" thank you Yusair", I said as I hugged him, I hope you and Yusuf are going to be good now...

Yusuf, Yusair , Imraan and Shireen were looking at me like I had two heads suddenly...

"what?" I asked confused.

" you can tell them apart now?", Shireen said amazed.

I started laughing...i didn't even realize that! "Guess you can't play tricks on me anymore", I told the two boys...

As we ate I finally managed to asked Imraan about the damn helicopter that MiL mentioned that night.

.."oh that, when we couldn't find you I phoned insurance to track your car, the tracker picked up that the car was on the freeway, slow moving...that didn't tell me if you were safe though, just that the car was moving...i knew I wouldn't be able to get to you in traffic by road so I requested that they send a helicopter to check on you, they didn't want too, some 24 hour wait period crap...so I paid them to send it , I wanted a clear confirmation that you were driving..."

What!!! Imraan's like a real stalker...his insane!

I just shook my head, un.be.live.able!

I was about to tell him that, when MiL walked in tears...Bilal was at her heels, ranting and raving...i didn't get the whole story, but it was obvious that MiL was being blamed for fiasco...she had given the twins the money, after all...

I knew Bilal won't let this go until somebody takes the blame...i wonder if he stopped to think about how he made it seem that they were kidnapped because of the shop...

Aye...

Today as we got ready for Jumuah, Imraan reminded me that we have two weeks to get ready to move into our new place, everything was finalized...

Oh wow!

We decided to just buy the basics to function and then do up each room and furnish as time goes...

Two weeks!

TWO weeks!!!!

OMW...i have soo much to do, better start making a list!

My ringing phone got me out of my mild panic attack...it was Muhammad, Nasreen's husband...

" as salaaau alikum Kala", came the cheerful voice.

" what Kala! I'm still young!", I laughed back...

" well you are a Kala to a masha'Allah baby boy..." Muhammad said

Waaaaat! Nasreen had her baby! OMW!!!

Nasreen and Muhammad had told everyone that they wished for a private birth experience and will call only after baby was born and they felt ready to share ...

" Nasreen gave birth yesterday afternoon, he is healthy and she's well, she says I can tell you to come visit"

" Yay! We'll be there after lunch, can't wait!"

I'm so thrilled...time for new beginnings...

Part 38: Kidnapped!

Today I got home from work and once again there was nowhere for me to park!

The yard was jam-packed with cars. Bilal was home and so were his in laws it seemed...but that's not what had me worried...the two police vans parked haphazardly across the front yard is what me hurry inside!

What on earth was going on!

Imraan was in PMB today to sort out some stuff at the new office premises.

I rushed inside to find shireen hysterical!
Bilal was ranting and raving...
my MiL and Shireen's mother were crying...
Shiraans Dadi was sitting the couch reading Izaa jaa in some kind of a trance...

It didn't take much to figure out that the twins were the cause of all this, but where were they?

Its only when I heard Bilal shouting at the men in blue that , ' he was sure they were kidnapped because of the business', that when I really started panicking!

Kidnapped!

 The twins!

OMW!

 Yah Allah...i thought I was going to faint...why hadn't anybody phoned me!

Shireen was getting hysterical, she kept repeating "I should have taken them to the park...they wanted to go so badly! Then none of this would have happen"

I rushed to Shireen offering her a tight hug, saying every comforting thing I could think off.
"Don't worry, they won't harm them...just pay the ransom, whatever they ask for...if you don't have enough Imraan and I can try and help, anything just ask...i'll start a yaseen khatam right now..."

I held my poor SiL tightly as she wept copiously in my arms...over her shoulder I saw Sumaya beckon me into the kitchen.

I left shireen to continue the interview with the police and went to see what Sumaya had to say...i knew she would have the details that I can't ask anybody in the other room for...

I was right...

Sumaya immediately began by telling me that this little drama may not be a kidnapping...Shireen was looking for the two about 2 hours ago and after searching the entire house and yard she found no sign of them she started panicking...it all escalated into an alleged kidnapping once the police got here, there was no evidence...just assumption and drama...

Isn't that like the main theme of this house?

Still! Two little boys were missing...kidnapped or not, where were they?

before I could get my thoughts straight, Tumi came hurrying through the kitchen door shouting frantically...

"Madaam!!!madaam!!!", she called.

Seeing us she immediately asked for Shireen, we pointed towards the lounge, following her as she flew through the door way...

"Madam...Madaam!!!!", "Baas???", she tried to get Shireens attention, then Bilal's, they waved her off, my MiL shooed her away...

She came back towards us, Sumaya quickly asked her what was up.

" the other maids, some that sit on the road waiting for the children after school...they said they see the twins gebala the bus", Tumi said.


What!!!!!
The bus!....

No freaking way!!!!

I jumped to action.


(....to be continued...)

Part 27: Chance of Thundershowers...

Saleem and Saleema's wedding was lovely. It was unusual and I really enjoyed it.

Imraan and I landed quiet late yesterday evening and while I have the good fortune of having this week off from work, Imraan had to go in this morning to finalise his promotion.

Everything was ready they said, just for him to sign on the dotted line.

I planned on spending the week sorting out everything for Nasreen's baby shower.
Whatever guilt my MiL had been feeling regarding Dadi's departure seemed to have vanished while we were away, she was back to her normal self, much to my disappointment.

I was in my room making favours for the shower when MiL came looking for me.
"Fatima Barbie, are you busy?", she asked at the door

What was that? A trick question? If I said yes it would mean I didn't want to help her, if I said no it would mean I'm sitting in my room to avoid work...you can't win either way.
"No, no mummy, just sorting out some gifts for Nasreen's baby shower.", I replied.

"oh, come come, I need help making berji pura, Sumaya and Shireen are already busy in the kitchen", MiL said.
Berji pura? That's hardly a four (wo)man job! I thought as I followed her to the kitchen.

When I got there I realized something else was going on...all the leftover savories from Ramadaan were out, being baked and fried.
"its stock take at the dukaan, we have to send something, dono koonia koonia will eat...kayni kayni, booka lorko pheet ma jaai apreh wasta sawaab", my MiL said answering my unasked question.

I washed my hands and started cleaning the berji, picking the root of each leaf painstakingly...

Shireen was talking about this and that, making my MiL laugh...Sumaya worked quietly, trying to get done before her son got up from his nap, no doubt.

"I was telling Mummy I want to have another baby now..." Shireen said...

That got my attention, okay!

"oh yah...", MiL replied.
"Yah, I think I'm ready the twins will be six soon...my mother says I need to lose weight before I can think of having a baby, she wants me to go on that vegetable diet she is on...", shireen said off-handedly, as she dipped the pie she was eating into some chille sauce.

"oh yah! Hows that going for her? I forgot to ask her.", my MiL asked.

"I don't know, I don't see any difference, it won't work for me, I eat vegetables...thats for people that don't eat vegetables...my built is in my genes. Its not like i over eat or anything."

Sumaya caught my eye and passed me a look as Shireen sampled one of the samoosas she was ment to be setting on throw away platters.

I hid my smile as I wondered what exactly did 'eat vegetable's' mean to Shireen.

I clearly remember her refusing to try the creamy spinach and butternut side dish I once made, or the steamed carrots, peas and corn I make to go with chicken roast saying its to plain for her.

Just the other day she pissed Sumaya off because she told the twins they lucky she doesn't feed them 'mini trees' when Talha was eating steamed broccoli.

I suppose Shireen counted the sweet corn in her fresh cream pasta, the soft soft aloos from the curry and the oil soaked gajaar beans atchar she ate at every meal, as her portion of vegetables covered.

Shireens new topic took me away from my silly thoughts...

"there's so much space in the back, Bilal could build an apartment for us...", she said as she looked out over the backyard.

My MiL turned so fast, causing the spoon in her hand to splatter oil everywhere!

"jaja! What's this apartment business now...", she said more sternly than I have ever heard her speak to shireen before.

Shireen herself, seemed taken aback...she wasn't use to MiL disagreeing with her.

"No, I just mean it will get abit crowded here after a while, at least we have land to build.", Shireen explained.

" Your Masagee will never allow all alag alag! What crowded, there is still two spare rooms!", my MiL almost shouted.

"what people will think, that my own sisters daughter couldn't live with muhabbaat!", My MiL was fuming, "Everybody will talk!!"

I finished mixing my batter and quietly left it by MiL for frying as I attempted to make a quick exit. I could see Sumaya wanting to do the same...

My MiL continued, furiously"its that Layla putting all these ideas in your head!..., I knew there will be trouble once you made friends with her!"

" how she said, that day you brought her for lunch...'oh, I can't believe 4 families live together in this house!'...what four families, we all one family! All western thinking todays children got!"

Shireen looked like she wanted to cry, I excused myself saying I wanted to freshen up as Imraan will be home any minute now.

As Magrib azaan went, Sumaya too ran for cover...looks like cloudy skies are in todays forecast, with a chance of thunder showers.

Part 22: Mountains out of Molehills...

On Friday afternoon I had back to back lessons. I kept checking my phone for any calls or messages from Imraan. I was so worried...

finally, just after home time I got a text message from him to say he was still in the meeting and he would see me at home later.

Argh! How vague is that...but at least he sent something. No news is better than NO news...

I stopped at the supermarket on the way home to get some weekend junk food for us, at the magazine rack I couldn't decide between two different pregnancy magazines, I went between them for over 15mins, then I felt for ice cream so I left the magazines and went back to get a tub of my favourite frozen dessert.

Back at the magazine rack, I still couldn't make up my mind..suddenly my phone started ringing, I thought it would be Imraan.

"Hi baby...", I answered.
"Hi baby yourself!", came a giggle, it was Sumaya.
" sorry, sorry, I thought you Imraan.", I apologized wondering why Sumaya was calling me.
"no problem, its nice to be called baby, Muhammad never calls me that anymore", "Anyway, just a heads up, MiL is pacing here, she thinks you forgot about supper.", Sumaya said.
"Omw! Its my turn isn't... I completely forgot Sumaya!", I said in a panic...

What on earth was I going to do...

" I thought so...don't worry, we got your back, I took out chicken for you, you can make that saucy one, sharp sharp.", Sumaya said.
" Shew, thank you...il be home in 5...", I was so grateful.

I rushed home and made my famous 3 sauce chicken, Sumaya had made a salsas and Shireen set the table quickly while I toasted garlic breads. Between the three of us we had supper ready way ahead, much to my MiLs surprise.

I was so lucky to have their help, that's the upside to joint family living, I couldn't thank them enough!

Shireen was teasing me about having a pregnancy brain, a condition of forgetfulness that is very common in pregnancy, when MiL came in...when she saw the chicken dish, she had a fit...

"Fatima! How can you make that! You know Dadi is here, she only eats tarkaree...what is she going to eat now.."

Oh-0

"aye, nevermind nevermind, Il go find something for her", my MiL said.

At supper time, much to my surprise, Dadi was the first person to reach for the saucy chicken saying how,nice and tempting it looked...to which my MiL jumped in...

"Nay nay, Ma you don't eat all that, here I got Moothia for you.."

"Ma hando kaysaki, oh pasta ne hando kaai... dhooro sauce be", Dadi said as she served herself.

Later that night, I unintentionally overheard Dadi on the phone as I passed her room,
" Khatija Bhen, yah maarah waste booh agru che...thoo nee kaabar...Kayroon Gori mara wastai waahi waahi Mootia, freezer ma kaaro...kamkaanari ne kawanu mana kawaach.

Oh-0, dadi is complaining to her daughter that MiL is taking out food fit for the maids...this can't be good...

It wasn't good at all! Her little complain created enough drama over the weekend...

Part 18: Bruised egos and high, high heels.

We got back to such a lovely scene on Sunday evening.

 Everybody was crowded around the table having coffee, tea and dippers. The conversation was animated and punctuated with roars of laughter. It looked like the work function had went off perfectly.

 It only took me a moment to realize that MiL wasn't amongst the merry-makers. I wasn't the only one that noticed...

 "where's mummy?", asked Imraan, dragging up chairs for me and him.
 "oh come I tell you'll what happen!", said Dadi
 Oh-0 I thought...what now...

 Sumayas expression was unreadable...no help there.
 "she broke her leg!", said shireen quickly.
 "no she didn't, she fractured her ankle.", said Bilal.
 "I think she sprained it." , said my FiL.

" Wait wait wait! I want to,explain to them.",Dadi began, from the beginning ofcorse, as old people always do...

" Fatima and Imraan, lucky you bought me the healthy shoes...otherwise I too would have been like bechari kayroon Gori.
 Yesterday at the function Kayroon stood one place by the door  saying "welcome, come in come in" to all the noorkers and their families."
"Then when everything started she sat chupchapti down and was listening, anything she wanted to say or do she send message with twins for Sumaya and Shireen. Ma bee, I'm thinking why she don't going here and there, you know she don't sit quietly...but I never ask her anything."

" Then it was time for her award...the man was telling about the award and called Kayroon Gori to come up to the stage."

 "Kayroon Gori woke up slowly, smiling smiling ne hando at everybody."

Dadi explained that as MiL got to the top step, the MC asked everybody to put their hands together for her...Dadi says she don't know what exactly happen but one second MiL was standing, next thing she was a puddle of fabric on the floor...

 OMW!!!! How awful!

 "I think her egos more bruised than her ankle, but we must all be sensitive to her." my FiL said.

 I could only imagine! The overtime award was MiLs proudest moment at the annual function, she looked forward to it the most.
She told me before, that she just loved hearing the story every year.

When Imraan's parents were newly married, my FiL worked very hard to build his business,when it was finally off the ground and established,Imraan's father decided to have a function after Eid to celebrate with his business family.

 One night while planning the function he thought of including awards as he mentioned categories my MiL pip'd in that she needs and award for the time she's alone with the children while my FiL is working....

 That year, at the very first function, my FiL surprised my MiL by calling her on stage to give her a gift for putting up with his long hours and standing besides him through the toughest years, he presented her with a beautiful watch. He then,joked that he hopes she won't expect one every year...

 The following year Imraan was born, that year my FiL got very ill and was unable to be at work for an extend period of time, my FiLs friend stood in for him and really held the business together, he himself was newly married.
once my FiL recovered, he wondered how to thank,his friend for his generous help, it was my MiL again who said that the wife deserve the thanks more. At that years function, my FiL had my MiL present their friends wife with a watch for her patience...and thus, the award was born.

 Every year, a watch is presented to the spouse of the employee who has the most overtime hours, however it has to be a different employee every year, once you have received it, you can't receive it again.
every year, my MiL is called up to present the watch and the story behind it is told.

 After Dadi told us what happen, Imraan and I went to check in on MiL, as I had assumed, she was more beat up over the embarrassment than any physical injury.
as she told her version of the event, I spied the pair of extremely high, high heels near the cupboard, my word! What had she been thinking!

 On the dresser was the watch she had been gifted originally, I admired the classic design.

I know that both Sumaya and Shireen
had been recipients of the award previously. I knew it was unlikely that I ever would be, Imraan was not part of the family business...he actually worked very hard not to be!

 ...but that too, is a story on its own.

Part 11-Stab wounds and blood everywhere!

Just as I was about to tell Imraan the test results, we where interrupted by blood curling screams!

I thought choir barayaa1, and almost dove under the bed!

Knock knock knock KNOCK 

Somebody was banging on the room door!
"IMRAAN IMRAAN, COME QUICKLY, THE TWINS ARE BLEEDING..."

What! Both of them!?, I jammed on my slippers, left the test on the bed and ran after Imraan who was already halfway to the lounge. My job at an ECD facility for special needs made me an excellent first-aider...I knew I could help calmly. Calm was not what I walked into...

The sight of the two boys was not one for weak stomachs, they both were covered in bright red blood, it was dripping from their heads, running little rivers down there faces, all over their hands and the carpet they where sitting on was smeared.

The twins however, were staring wide-eyed at everybody in what I hope was fear.

Shireen was besides herself and hysterical...my babies, my boys, they going to die Bilal, do something! Oh Allah...
She herself appeared to be blood-free however.
Bilal was shouting at her to shut up so he could think.
My MiL was trying to console her while ordering Imraan to tell the doctor its an emergency.
Imraan was scrolling through his phone, no doubt looking for my Mamagees2 number.
My FiL was frantically flipping through the phone book looking for the ambulance number.
Muhammad Bhai3, oddly enough, was calmly reading the paper, oblivious to the drama before him.

I wanted to laugh! The smell was distinctive, how did they not recognize it!
I kept a straight face and walked over to the boys...in a clear loud voice, I said: stand up and give it to me right now!

"oh Mari ma4...they have a knife, Bilal, Fatima saw a knife! They stabbed each other in the head, Bilal", Shireen started with another round of hysterics.

"give you what Fati-Mamee5", said one boy.
"yah, what you want Fati-Mamee", said the other.
"STAND UP RIGHT NOW, BOTH OF YOU!!", I said, using my teacher voice.

As they stood up, bottles and bottles of Maccurachomb tumbled out from under their 'blood stained' T-Shirts.

The room had fell silent. 

"where did you get these?" I asked them.
"you gave us!", said one...
"don't lie, we took it from Nana's shop", said the other.
Shireens family owned a supermarket situated on the ground level and they lived in an apartment above.

How two 5year olds managed to do this without anybody noticing, was beyond me...but I also know how resourceful children are, especially if there are two of them.
I can't count how many times, my sister and I had put a drop of Macuracomb on our fingers to show our mother we got cut. We loved the fancy plasters she use to keep.

I suppose Muhammad Bhai had been sitting there the whole time too, but he knows better than to discipline 'Bilal's Children'

"they just need a bath Shireen, the red stains should fade in a week..." I said.
"oh Allah, they can't have red faces for Eid!", she said.

I sensed a new drama unfolding so I started retreating. Imraan was already late for Tarawee6 and his best friend Saleem was waiting outside. Saleem was getting married soon to a girl from Malawi and was having huge issues with land conveying for the extension he was trying to build, so he often needed Imraan's advice. His wedding was going to be in Malawi and the Walima7, two weeks later in Durban, Imraan and I had decided to go to Malawi instead of taking a holiday for our anniversary. We were really looking forward to the upcoming trip.


Back in my room I wondered how to recreate the moment Imraan and I had lost.
I looked through Imraan's cupboard for the smiley face tie he never wears, I got a huge chart board and folded it into a shirt with a collar, inside I wrote, "Congratulations, you going to be a dad, Insha'Allah.8" I draped the tie and leaned the card against Imraan's pillows.
Inspired! I quickly looked for his smilely boxer shorts and stretched it over the bottom of the card leaving the legs dangling. I found a powder blue sock and a pink one in my draw and stuffed them up with some of his rolled up socks, creating 'legs' I placed these poking out from the shorts. A baseball cap backwards resting on the top of the card and pillow completed my make-shift man. I tucked the positive pregnancy test into the stuck on pocket of the card. There...that was cute.

That night I did my tilawaat9 of Quraan with one hand over my abdomen and a silly grin I couldn't wipe off.

When Imraan came home, he woke me with a kiss and a tight hug, then he slipped a Lindor into my mouth. 
"Il take you to the Dr. after work tomorrow." he whispered.

We snuggled up and fell asleep smiling...dreaming of the good things to come.

Glossary:

1. Robbers gained entry.
2. maternal uncle
3. brother
4. oh my mother-dramtic expression
5. aunty-married to fathers brother
6. extended night-time prayer in ramadaan
7. feast after the wedding
8. if Allah wills
9. recitation

Part 9- Family scandales and skeletons

I was seriously getting home-sick now... I missed my parents and sister and I had the most intense craving for the Chicken Tikkah pizza that one of the local food outlets in my hometown makes.

I must talk to Imraan about going to Port Shepstone after Eid, it was long overdue and quite frankly we could do with a sea-side break.

Most Guji DiLs go home for their first Ramadaan, at very least for a few weeks, but Imraan's family was paranoid and I didn't want to drag up any old ghost, especially after I noticed that Sumaya too, doesn't go home for Ramadaan. She did go for a week before though, brought back lovely savouries from her mum and nice things from a butchery in laudium.

Before I got married, Imraan told me about Bilal's first wife Farzana, she went home for her first Ramadaan and then decided she's not coming back. Nothing Bilal or my in-laws said would change her mind. 
I also heard that sumaya and farzana got along really well, like sisters almost, so when the trouble started, Bilal accused Sumaya of causing some if it. (that may explain why Sumaya has taken so long to start warming to me.)

After a long drawn out dispute and trying to make it work living apart, Bilal and Farzana eventually decided to divorce. Much to my MiLs horror! She couldn't stand the tainted reputation and whispers, I'm sure.

Shortly after the talaaq, Bilal married Shiraan in a small Nikkah and backyard walima, nine months later...out popped the twins.

Shireen is my MiLs sisters daughter, at the time she was fending off a stigma of her own...the community was buzzing over her broken engagement after her fiancé called it off to make secret nikkah to the 'madragee' secretary from his office. Shireens mother was in a panic, Shireen was already 25 at the time and Imraan's Kala didn't want her daughter to be sitting on the shelf.

The two unfortunate situations made Bilal and Shireen a perfect match in every bodies eyes and my MiL had always had a soft spot for Shiraan because she and Bilal had been born a week apart, their mothers had confinement together. It was ment to be for then, apparently...(to bad they don't act 'ment to be,now') 

Wait, wait...i stopped my self, backspace that thought...never judge anybody's relationship no matter how it looks from the outside, least you be wrong, worse if a similar situation should befall you, too.

Not like I didn't have my own fair share of time in the rumour spot light...when I met Imraan, Nasreen had just gotten engaged and rumours were flying around that I was jealous and trying to break off her engagement, after all, she's 6 months younger than me and getting married first. The rumours almost ruined our friendship, but good thing Nasreens so level-headed.

More than a year ago, when Nasreen heard that a boy from Port Shepstone was coming to see her, she immediately phoned to ask me if his name was familiar, I told her I had had a classmate by the same name, if it was the same boy, we were sort of friends in school and he was very nice, super intelligent too and cute! But I wasn't sure, I hadn't seen this boy in ages. Nasreen didn't mind, she was glad to have a positive vibe because this prospect did sound promising.

Things worked out for Nasreen... Muhammad was a "hunky, quantity surveyor" who grew up in Port Shepstone but studied, worked and lived in Durban. Nasreen never wanted to be a live-in DiL so for her, that was a real plus. The fact that Muhammad's parents lived almost an hour away, didnt hurt his rating either. She really makes me laugh.

At her engagement I immediately recognized Muhammad as the same one I had meant now with a designer beard.
When I went to congratulate the shy couple, Muhammad recognized me and the three of us fell into easy conversation, I think Nas&Mo were kind of glad to have a mutual buffer. Ofcorse the gossip mongers' watched on, eyes wide open...
The very next day the damaal started. I was accused of jealousy, conceit, lies etc it was very stressful because my relationship with Nas was on the line as well as her engagement.

Nas was understandably upset and full of doubt, luckily I managed to convince her that whatever school day comradeship Mo and I had was long in the past and it would never match to the relationship she'll have with him as husband and wife. Plus, I would always respect the boundaries of that. Nasreen is very level-head and once the rumors died down, things were fine.

Luckily Imraan had heard this whole damaal straight from me before he even proposed, ah...Imraans proposal, now that's a story!... But, for another time...too bad I didn't keep a diary back then...  

Part 8- Dadi Ma, Nani Ma and Chaachi Ma

When Imraan got home from work his Dadi called him, "Imraan betha, yaa ow"1
"so long you never see me, you can't come make salaam!"
"sorry Dadi. I wanted to see if my wife is feeling better today"
"Dadi you must get Facebook, then I'll always check up on you"

Dadi has a soft spot for these 'poiro's'2, she started laughing!
"tubaa, tubaa...suram ke waat3 ,what I'll do with bookface and hando4"
"find 1 Dada" Imraan laughed back.

I couldn't stop smiling watching them banter!

"areh jaja, doohi like me5, I don't want to wash any mans underpants"
"ask Fatima, Nani Ma got a Madala on facebook"
"hatchi waat, Fatima?"6
I laughed aloud, "my nani is in Jannat Dadi Ma, Imraans talking about a page 'Ask Nani Ma?"

"ask nani ma about what!?" my MiL asked as she walked in...

Imraan was to busy laughing to reply.
"we talking about that Facebook group" I said
"oh, acki ghaam nee panchaat that is"7, my MiL replied.
"No,no...i think that ones Ask Chaachi Ma!"
"aye I don't know all this, must ask shireen, she always busy with her phone"

"Ask Shireen?, oh that would make a very good panchaat8 page" Imraan said, sending his Dadi and him into another laughing fit.

My MiL just tsstsst at them.

Iftaar time Dadi was back to criticizing MiL..."are these dukaan9 samoosas kayroon gori?
Aye but your DiLs beat you, they roll round rotis.
You must make jaraak kuri kitchri10 for sehri, my haroon always use to like that."
"I make curry for him every morning, Ma" my MiL said.

I just knew Sumaya was smirking behind her milkshake glass.

Glossary:

1. imraan darling, come here
2. boys
3. sinful, sinful, shameless talk
4. everything
5. oh get out, old thing like me
6. for true 
7. whole worlds gossip
8. gossip
9. store bought
10. little bit of maas and rice dish

Part 4-Two twins and Masaala steak

I got home to chaos in the kitchen, it was Sumaya's turn for savoury and Shireen's turn for main dish.

Sumaya had spring rolls out that she was crumbing and frying and 1 dozen mince samoosas ready to fry for her husband, I smiled to myself when I saw them. Her baby was parked in his pram in one corner, I went to tickle and coo at him, he is just too cute!

Shireen was frantically trying to put her chicken tarkaree together, she was loudly complaining to Sumaya that there is just no barkaat in time now days, "I don't know if these aloos will even get done, lucky Bilal won't eat curry, you know how he likes soft soft aloo only"
A loud yell sent her scurrying from the kitchen, she just knew her sons were up to no good.

I quickly got out my marinade ingredients onto the furthest counter top when MiL dearest walked in..."Sumaya leave all this and go see Talha, he was fighting with the twins! You only making one savoury? Bilal can't eat one type only, poor man is rozdaar too you know. Leave it, leave it...too late now, we'll just make do...
Let me check this tarkaree, bechari shireen, she got her hands full with those 'two twins' of hers, areh areh"

I could have sworn I saw Sumaya roll her eyes and wink at me as she left the kitchen...did she? Must be my imagination!

"Fatima what you doing with all that khatbhat there, don't you want to go read Quraan before iftaar..." (guess with nobody else left in the kitchen, it was my turn now...)
"Gee mummy, I just want to marinate some steak for Imraan then Il go"
"oh I already gave masaalah to that steak, you have to masaalah steak early, then its hawaat...Imraan likes my crushed chille masaala from small too"
Nasreens voice shouted 'say something, say something' in my head.
But my MiL had already moved on to complaining about Sumaya , "so much teel Sumaya frys in, well all will get jara jara...not enough her rung is all wrong now she wants to get jari too...lucky her two didn't get her complexion"
I just mumbled thank you and walked out. (Score: MiL-2, Me-Nil)

After iftaar I could barely keep my eyes open...I was just beyond tired. Imraan came into the room and saw me laying down, "You oki TiMwah?" he asked touching my forehead lightly.
"Gee baby, just so so sleepy."
"You must take it easy..why don't you sleep early, leave those steaks out for me, I won't wake you up later"
I smiled sleepily in thanks , only after he left for tarawee I dragged myself to retrieve the old ice cream container of steak from the fridge, (guess you can't put that much arad in real tupperware) and then I realised I forgot to tell him its not BBQ...ohh 0!