When I saw Saleemas home that first day, I wondered if she would be content with the little granny flat Saleem built for them behind his family home.
Yesterday, after visiting the real locations of Malawi, I felt grateful just for having running water, leave alone a warm shower in the morning. It was difficult and amazing at the same time, to see how people live.
The abject poverty is heart breaking, the genuine kindness and happiness...heart warming!
How is it that, people with so little have so much to give, of that which truly counts.
I met little children, so thin and under nourished that their built didn't match their age...
In school you learn about rickets and Kwashiorkor, but they just terms...here, you see the reality of it.
Imraan immediately took pics to email back to his office in the hope of getting a water well sponsorships, even though it is a non-muslin firm, they do alot of charity work.
Imraan himself, made a modest donation towards food distribution and we even talked about sending the money for our babies aqeeqahs to be made and distributed here by the Ulema organization, Insha'Allah.
I was exhausted after our day out, I felt wrung out too but it was this leg of the trip that truly made me feel like I had seen Malawi.
Today we were invited to Saleemas home for Jumuah Lunch, they made a delicious memon akni...it was the first time I ate goat meat.
You would think goat meat would have put me off but shukaar I'm having an 'easy pregnancy' so far, I can't believe I'm already into the second trimester.
Tomorrow is Saleem and Saleema's Wedding, tonight they putting Mendhi for the bride...i can't wait to see what a Memon wedding in Malawi is like.
Imraan and I are leaving on Sunday and should be home late Sunday night. Imraan needs to get back to the office. Mean while the two newly weds will fly to Mauritius and then Cape town for their 2 week honeymoon before coming home to begin their life as husband and wife!
as much as I am enjoying this trip I'm really feeling the heat and I'm tired...im ready to head back to South African soil!
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Friday, 5 September 2014
Wednesday, 6 August 2014
Flash Back Mini Series-Part 4: Nikkah of Fatima to Imraan (30/08/13) and happily ever after...
My friends really helped to pull my wedding plans off the ground, I wanted small and simple because the wedding is just one day, it's the marriage that needs to last a lifetime.
Imraan and I spent so little on our actual wedding that our parents gave us the money they would have spent as a bacshish1. We invested most of it, besides the portion we spent on our honeymoon to Thailand and Bali. It was totally worth it.
On the day of our Nikkah, my parents had a lunch at the Marburg community Hall after Jumuah. It was a simple dholl and rice function with paper plates and cups and Kit Kat. All the Musallahi's2 were told to come and most of the people we knew in Port Shepstone showed up, including all out of town guest from both families who were already around for the Nikkah3. It was so laid back and informal, I didn't see Imraan but I knew he was there somewhere.
I chatted to my cousins and friends after a morning of pampering that Kats had booked for me at a local spa.
I was whisked away after lunch for a hairdresser and make up appointment and I insisted on minimal make up. I wanted to look like me, a more polished me but still me...not a whole new painted person Imraan wouldn't recognize.
Back home I changed into the beautiful slim cut, plain white and navy blue dress I had designed, it was modest, decent and made me feel like a princess never the less. I draped my hijaab4 using an online tutorial luths had sourced for me of a style I had always admired.
I then prayed Asr and stayed on the musalaah5 making dua until I heard the Nikkah commencing over the Bilal Musjid Receiver.
My heart skipped too many beats as I heard the Moulana ask Imraan if he accepted me into his Nikaah and then Imraan repeated the dua.
It took a few moments before I realized I was now MARRIED!
My mum, Dadi, sister, SiL, Nasreen, lots of aunties and cousins burst into the room soon after, only as they hugged me and congratulates me, did I being to cry.
Soon the men arrived from the Musjid, I was showered with Dua and advice and when I finally found myself in my fathers arms, I cried rivers. My bags were in the lounge already and Imraan's family started hooting from the bottom of the road all the way up our drive way.
I prayed Magrib in my room then I left with Imraan to check into a hotel in St. Micheals at Sea.
We rejoined his family for supper at his Aunties home on Millionaires Avenue.
We were back at the hotel after Esha and finally alone and suddenly much too shy.
Saturday afternoon we took a drive to Durban and stayed the night at a Hotel in Umhalanga.
On Sunday, our Walima took place at the NMJ Hall...Imraans family outdid themselves with a silver and teal theme to match my dress. Up till today, people still talk about the taste of the biryani.
Instead of centre pieces, Sumaya had made bowls of seasonal fruit for guest to eat. There was no stage or flower arrangements. We tried to be tasteful without being wasteful.
For the walima, my Dadi and Imraan's Dadi, coincidently wore the same dress. When I asked my Dadi about it she told me that when Imraan's Dadi saw her she came over and said, " tu boor expensive-expensive kaproo lidu.6"
To which my Dadi replied, "whu expensive-expensive, boor sastu, Mara waaste famous fabric 50%off didoo7."
Imraan's Dadi opened her eyes wide, "haatchi waat?"8, she asked.
And my Dadi replied, " haa...buy 1 (pointing to herself)- get 1 free! (pointing to Imraan's Dadi)
My Dadi was pleasantly surprised that Imraan's Dadi laughed whole heartedly at her joke, thus immediately making the two old ladies, firm friends. They spent the rest of the function together, talking about olden days and when people commented on their dresses they replied that the bride and groom got their good tastes from the Dadis'.
Imraan and I had each recorded messages to our families that were played out at the Walima. I had so much fun that day..close family lingered long after lunch.
We spent two more nights in Umhlanga before flying to Thailand and then Bali.
It was pure bliss!
We quickly settled into married life on our return, Imraan went back to work as a junior attorney at the firm he still works for and I completed my degree.
In January I started full time at the same school I had done my prac, as the ball skills and speech and drama coach to special needs children.
Our story had only just began...The rest, as they say, is history!
Glossary:
Imraan and I spent so little on our actual wedding that our parents gave us the money they would have spent as a bacshish1. We invested most of it, besides the portion we spent on our honeymoon to Thailand and Bali. It was totally worth it.
On the day of our Nikkah, my parents had a lunch at the Marburg community Hall after Jumuah. It was a simple dholl and rice function with paper plates and cups and Kit Kat. All the Musallahi's2 were told to come and most of the people we knew in Port Shepstone showed up, including all out of town guest from both families who were already around for the Nikkah3. It was so laid back and informal, I didn't see Imraan but I knew he was there somewhere.
I chatted to my cousins and friends after a morning of pampering that Kats had booked for me at a local spa.
I was whisked away after lunch for a hairdresser and make up appointment and I insisted on minimal make up. I wanted to look like me, a more polished me but still me...not a whole new painted person Imraan wouldn't recognize.
Back home I changed into the beautiful slim cut, plain white and navy blue dress I had designed, it was modest, decent and made me feel like a princess never the less. I draped my hijaab4 using an online tutorial luths had sourced for me of a style I had always admired.
I then prayed Asr and stayed on the musalaah5 making dua until I heard the Nikkah commencing over the Bilal Musjid Receiver.
My heart skipped too many beats as I heard the Moulana ask Imraan if he accepted me into his Nikaah and then Imraan repeated the dua.
It took a few moments before I realized I was now MARRIED!
My mum, Dadi, sister, SiL, Nasreen, lots of aunties and cousins burst into the room soon after, only as they hugged me and congratulates me, did I being to cry.
Soon the men arrived from the Musjid, I was showered with Dua and advice and when I finally found myself in my fathers arms, I cried rivers. My bags were in the lounge already and Imraan's family started hooting from the bottom of the road all the way up our drive way.
I prayed Magrib in my room then I left with Imraan to check into a hotel in St. Micheals at Sea.
We rejoined his family for supper at his Aunties home on Millionaires Avenue.
We were back at the hotel after Esha and finally alone and suddenly much too shy.
Saturday afternoon we took a drive to Durban and stayed the night at a Hotel in Umhalanga.
On Sunday, our Walima took place at the NMJ Hall...Imraans family outdid themselves with a silver and teal theme to match my dress. Up till today, people still talk about the taste of the biryani.
Instead of centre pieces, Sumaya had made bowls of seasonal fruit for guest to eat. There was no stage or flower arrangements. We tried to be tasteful without being wasteful.
For the walima, my Dadi and Imraan's Dadi, coincidently wore the same dress. When I asked my Dadi about it she told me that when Imraan's Dadi saw her she came over and said, " tu boor expensive-expensive kaproo lidu.6"
To which my Dadi replied, "whu expensive-expensive, boor sastu, Mara waaste famous fabric 50%off didoo7."
Imraan's Dadi opened her eyes wide, "haatchi waat?"8, she asked.
And my Dadi replied, " haa...buy 1 (pointing to herself)- get 1 free! (pointing to Imraan's Dadi)
My Dadi was pleasantly surprised that Imraan's Dadi laughed whole heartedly at her joke, thus immediately making the two old ladies, firm friends. They spent the rest of the function together, talking about olden days and when people commented on their dresses they replied that the bride and groom got their good tastes from the Dadis'.
Imraan and I had each recorded messages to our families that were played out at the Walima. I had so much fun that day..close family lingered long after lunch.
We spent two more nights in Umhlanga before flying to Thailand and then Bali.
It was pure bliss!
We quickly settled into married life on our return, Imraan went back to work as a junior attorney at the firm he still works for and I completed my degree.
In January I started full time at the same school I had done my prac, as the ball skills and speech and drama coach to special needs children.
Our story had only just began...The rest, as they say, is history!
Glossary:
- gift
- men who prayed at the musjid
- islamic wedding ceremony
- headscarf
- prayer mat
- very expensive fabric you bought
- what expensive, very cheep, for me the store gave 50% off
- for true!!!
Tuesday, 5 August 2014
Flash Back Mini Series- Part 3: Happiness and Sadness
I had filled in two fields on that form...1. Bride's representative, 2. Contact number...
The following weekend, Imraan's family drove up to meet me.
I was so glad that at least I kinda knew Sumaya. She was quiet and 6 months pregnant, but at least she was a familiar face, oh and Talha, who was so excited to be visiting Fatima ma'am at home. I think he was shocked teachers even had a home, he must have thought we live in school, lol.
I never had an engagement party, shortly after my proposal, Nani took ill...she had too move in with my Kala amidst wedding preps for Nasreen, things were hectic.
One weekend while we were in Durban, Imraan, his mother and father, sister and SiLs came to my Kala's house, we set a date for less than a month after Ramadaan. They put a gold chain and that same ring on for me.
My Kala then whipped out some Mithia she had left from Nasreen's kunchaas, and just like that Imraan and I were engaged.
Even though we chatted before our conversations now were different...less vague and light hearted, it was deeper, more honest and a bit shyer. He wasn't as bold as he had first appeared. He said he was relieved I was not as aloof as I had appeared.
We decided to limit our contact to one chat every evening and supervised visits every second weekend...we didn't want to get so familiar that we lose the true muhabaa and magic of marriage, this was our halfway point and it pleased our parents.
With Nani so sick and Nasreen's wedding on the horizon, my own wedding prep was getting left behind.
Imraan and I decided on a Nikkah for a Friday after Asr in Port Shepstone, no reception, a walima in Durban on Sunday.
My parents ended up having a huge lunch after Jumuah at the Marburg Hall for everybody. It wasn't fancy, I wore an abayaa and scarf like everybody else.
My friends from campus took over my wedding plans, they scheduled and made bookings for me, planned shopping trips etc, it was a huge relief.
Nani was in and out of hospital and getting weaker, Nasreen's wedding became the first family function that Nani wasn't directly involved in.
After Nasreens wedding, Nani took a turn for the worse. Nas cut her honeymoon short and came back home early.
About five days before Ramadaan, Nani woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, I sat up next to her...she had barely spoken recently, "Nani you okay?" I asked her?
I quickly switched on the light.
"kaa che garjaal?" I pointed to the bedside clock, its half past 3 Nani.
Nani started getting out of bed, i rushed to help her...her breathing was laboured and wheezy...she felt so small and frail in my arms, its hard to believe that she once use to carry me around on her hip.
"must make wudu, must make wudu, fajr ke suru, fajr ke suru"
I didn't know what else to do so I helped her into the bathroom and helped her make wudu, after she was done I wiped her face, hands and feet while she sat on the chair. She slowly tied her downy, still muttering about fajr time, her eyes seemed dazed-like she was far away, I wondered if she even realized I was there.
I quickly opened her musalah and faced it towards qiblaah, I was trying to turn her chair when she said, put me on the floor Fatima, I want to make sajdaa on the ground.
As soon as she began salaah, I rushed to my mothers room, in tears I told my mother Nani was reading fajr now, before time...
"Don't worry, don't worry, let her...come i'll make us some tea..."
I checked on Nani she was sitting on her musalaah still making dua. Soon Kala and everybody else woke up for fajr and mummy told them Nani had woken early to read, one by one they went into see her while she made dua.
When I finished pray my fajr I realized Nani had been in sajdaa for very long now, when I went near I couldn't hear her wheezy breath anymore...I ran to the door shouting "mummy, mummy!!!!!"...then everything went black!
I awoke to my mothers voice," its okay Fatima, its okay..."
Tears filled my mothers eyes and spilt over, running down her face...
It wasn't a dream then, I knew...I squeezed my eyes closed.
"She's gone batchoo, she's gone...she lived long and she had such a beautiful death, it was all she ever wanted baby, you have to be strong", my mother said to me.
I kept shaking my head, She didn't understand.
"I was right there mummy, right there...on the other musalaah...she never even made a sound."
My mother looked at my Mamajee,
When did he get here?
He will make Nani better, I know he will!
"I think she needs something, doc..."
My mamajee nodded,"Already on it Mumtaz".
I felt a pinch and once again everything was black.
I woke up two hours later feeling stronger , I had a dream of Nani, surrounded by a beautiful garden. I knew then, that she was in Jannah.
I showered and changed, I wore my most beautiful abayaa. No doubt many ladies thought I had lost it, I looked like a rainbow in the sea of black.
I read and made Dua for Nani, I refused to talk to anybody while the Janaza was in the house. Lots of people whispered about me, no doubt thinking I had had a nervous breakdown.
"shame...so close to her wedding too."
Imraans SiLs and mother came, I acknowledged them with a nod.
After the funeral I phoned Imraan, in a quiet corner I broke down and told him it all...he quietly listened and made Dua, after that, I felt a bit whole again.
That Ramadaan was a blur. A few weeks after Eid was my wedding day...Thank goodness for lutfi and Kat...I wouldn't have got anything done if it wasn't for them!
The following weekend, Imraan's family drove up to meet me.
I was so glad that at least I kinda knew Sumaya. She was quiet and 6 months pregnant, but at least she was a familiar face, oh and Talha, who was so excited to be visiting Fatima ma'am at home. I think he was shocked teachers even had a home, he must have thought we live in school, lol.
I never had an engagement party, shortly after my proposal, Nani took ill...she had too move in with my Kala amidst wedding preps for Nasreen, things were hectic.
One weekend while we were in Durban, Imraan, his mother and father, sister and SiLs came to my Kala's house, we set a date for less than a month after Ramadaan. They put a gold chain and that same ring on for me.
My Kala then whipped out some Mithia she had left from Nasreen's kunchaas, and just like that Imraan and I were engaged.
Even though we chatted before our conversations now were different...less vague and light hearted, it was deeper, more honest and a bit shyer. He wasn't as bold as he had first appeared. He said he was relieved I was not as aloof as I had appeared.
We decided to limit our contact to one chat every evening and supervised visits every second weekend...we didn't want to get so familiar that we lose the true muhabaa and magic of marriage, this was our halfway point and it pleased our parents.
With Nani so sick and Nasreen's wedding on the horizon, my own wedding prep was getting left behind.
Imraan and I decided on a Nikkah for a Friday after Asr in Port Shepstone, no reception, a walima in Durban on Sunday.
My parents ended up having a huge lunch after Jumuah at the Marburg Hall for everybody. It wasn't fancy, I wore an abayaa and scarf like everybody else.
My friends from campus took over my wedding plans, they scheduled and made bookings for me, planned shopping trips etc, it was a huge relief.
Nani was in and out of hospital and getting weaker, Nasreen's wedding became the first family function that Nani wasn't directly involved in.
After Nasreens wedding, Nani took a turn for the worse. Nas cut her honeymoon short and came back home early.
About five days before Ramadaan, Nani woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, I sat up next to her...she had barely spoken recently, "Nani you okay?" I asked her?
I quickly switched on the light.
"kaa che garjaal?" I pointed to the bedside clock, its half past 3 Nani.
Nani started getting out of bed, i rushed to help her...her breathing was laboured and wheezy...she felt so small and frail in my arms, its hard to believe that she once use to carry me around on her hip.
"must make wudu, must make wudu, fajr ke suru, fajr ke suru"
I didn't know what else to do so I helped her into the bathroom and helped her make wudu, after she was done I wiped her face, hands and feet while she sat on the chair. She slowly tied her downy, still muttering about fajr time, her eyes seemed dazed-like she was far away, I wondered if she even realized I was there.
I quickly opened her musalah and faced it towards qiblaah, I was trying to turn her chair when she said, put me on the floor Fatima, I want to make sajdaa on the ground.
As soon as she began salaah, I rushed to my mothers room, in tears I told my mother Nani was reading fajr now, before time...
"Don't worry, don't worry, let her...come i'll make us some tea..."
I checked on Nani she was sitting on her musalaah still making dua. Soon Kala and everybody else woke up for fajr and mummy told them Nani had woken early to read, one by one they went into see her while she made dua.
When I finished pray my fajr I realized Nani had been in sajdaa for very long now, when I went near I couldn't hear her wheezy breath anymore...I ran to the door shouting "mummy, mummy!!!!!"...then everything went black!
I awoke to my mothers voice," its okay Fatima, its okay..."
Tears filled my mothers eyes and spilt over, running down her face...
It wasn't a dream then, I knew...I squeezed my eyes closed.
"She's gone batchoo, she's gone...she lived long and she had such a beautiful death, it was all she ever wanted baby, you have to be strong", my mother said to me.
I kept shaking my head, She didn't understand.
"I was right there mummy, right there...on the other musalaah...she never even made a sound."
My mother looked at my Mamajee,
When did he get here?
He will make Nani better, I know he will!
"I think she needs something, doc..."
My mamajee nodded,"Already on it Mumtaz".
I felt a pinch and once again everything was black.
I woke up two hours later feeling stronger , I had a dream of Nani, surrounded by a beautiful garden. I knew then, that she was in Jannah.
I showered and changed, I wore my most beautiful abayaa. No doubt many ladies thought I had lost it, I looked like a rainbow in the sea of black.
I read and made Dua for Nani, I refused to talk to anybody while the Janaza was in the house. Lots of people whispered about me, no doubt thinking I had had a nervous breakdown.
"shame...so close to her wedding too."
Imraans SiLs and mother came, I acknowledged them with a nod.
After the funeral I phoned Imraan, in a quiet corner I broke down and told him it all...he quietly listened and made Dua, after that, I felt a bit whole again.
That Ramadaan was a blur. A few weeks after Eid was my wedding day...Thank goodness for lutfi and Kat...I wouldn't have got anything done if it wasn't for them!
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