Part 17: A little blimp...or two!

Imraan and I were so excited over our first visit to the Gyni, I was lucky to get an appointment so soon too, the waiting list is really long.

When we got there I was shocked at how full the waiting room was with pregnant women...
I filled out my details, was told not to pee till after I saw Dr. and made to weigh myself.

The man sitting next to the scale actually looked at the weight reading while I was taking it! How rude! I gave him a dirty look.
 
I flipped through old pregnancy magazines while Imraan fiddled with his phone, I knew he was nervous, so was I...i don't know why.

Finally it was our turn, the Dr was nice looking in a fatherly way and I immediately felt comfortable as he made salaam and shook Imraan's hand asking him if they had met before etc. Imraan admitted that he had went to school with Drs son. We discussed my general health and medical history, symptoms and fears.
*I explained that I had fell pregnant while on birthcontrol, and think I might have missed one without realizing, however I stopped taking them them the day we found out I was pregnant. Dr assured me I have nothing to worry about regarding the pill affecting the fetal development.* I also mentioned I had started folic acid already on advice from my GP, when he saw my Mamagees name on the card he said they had been in Med school together. I admitted that my GP was also my mothers brother. The Dr laughed and said this seems to be a 'contection call' to which Imraan replied, "yah, 45th cutting connections". The Drs mannerisms, warmth and humour made me feel sure of my decision to see him.

He did the Ultrasound and said, "Masha'Allah your baby looks very healthy and is growing well, there is good blood flow to the placenta, the dates must be off but because the measurements are showing less than the predicted gestation. Lets check the heartbeat first then Il redo your expected due date, due dates are not important, Allah decides when and where we are born, but its nice to have an idea to track progress."

Dr flipped a switch, moved the scanner around pressing it harder against my abdomen until a 'dum dum dum' sound filled the room..."that's your baby's heart" he said. 
What a beautiful moment, I looked into Imraan's eyes and saw the amazement and love there.
Dr was still,fiddling around, his brow frowning, the heartbeat sound was coming and going, he was moving the scanner to two locations...
His concentration scares me...something was wrong!

"there is two heartbeats, Alhumdulliah...", he began.
"two heart beats! I panicked, not giving him a chance to finish, is something wrong with my baby!" tears filled my eyes.

Imraan placed a hand on my knee, let him finish Tima...(he had heard this story once before)

Dr cleared his throat, "Fatima, it means you carrying twins, Masha'Allah, that is why the dates and measurements don't match, I'm going to try a more dynamic view to see if I can find the other baby, this one is blocking it but they move around alot, even though you can't feel it yet..." he said gently.

Twins...TWINS...twins!!! OMW...i thought of the two at home...what was I in for!...

**The Author fabricated much of the medical information provided in this post for purposes of the story and continuity, please don't consider any of it to be true. Always contact a medical practioner for advice.

Part 16:From Best to worst...

I was still feeling terrible about the way MiL made Dadi feel regarding her outfit for the function so I asked Imraan if we could take Dadi shopping to get her some stuff she may need, he loved the idea and said we should do that this afternoon.

Because Imraan worked through his two hour lunch break throughout Ramadaan, he had plenty of leave hours stocked up now for him to do extend his lunch break when he needed too.
Like tomorrow, we have an appointment with the Gyni and it is at 1pm, Imraan is on lunch so we will go together and he already requested an extension so we have no rush.

I told Dadi we want to take her to buy some things she may need for the function 'incase' any nice Nana's are there.
She was so excited! "You'll want to take me mall? Real mall? Not china mall?"
I laughed!" G Dadi, we'll go to Gateway Oki?, there's enough shops and variety..."
"areh baapre baap, haatchi waat? nobody takes a dhoohi like me to Gateway, rooj mana maan tai, o jawa, lookor handa mani ke ooh booh doohi Cho, o taakhi jaahe. Rooj mana Game City jaayche. kayne kayne...whoo karai."1

Ag man...why do we treat the old in our families like lepers'...

MiL was very, very busy today, I got the impression that we were expecting guest but she didn't mention who, when I told her Imraan and I would be taking Dadi to do some shopping because I had a short day at school, she actually seemed relieved, she didn't even try to hide it. She looked at me with such glee, as if I was the best DiL in the world!

We took Dadi to every 'healthy shoes' shop till she found a pair that she liked and was comfortable in. After we were done, we made our way to a stationery shop so I could browse and stock up on some school supply's...you can never have enough, right!
I found an amazing pregnancy calendar to record all the little milestones, it came with cute stickers for 'first ultrasound','heard your heartbeat', 'im getting huge', 'felt you move'...etc.
I just had to buy it! 
Dadi meantime, showed up with two teddy bears, one pink and one blue...i laughed at her and told her she'll have to wait till baby comes before she knows which to get...she said, "I already know...BOTH!"...

I just smiled at her and put them back. She showed me an embroidery kit she found to make one piece every month that would eventually turn into a quilt..."Booh sastoo sastoo, only R14,95..." I tried to explain that it was a monthly thing, the first set would be cheap and then each month it got more and more expensive, but I decided not too, she seemed so excited and a hobby would be good for her, I checked the subscription details at the back and took it to Imraan, he agreed we should pay the lump sum subscription and have each installment delivered to us monthly, so we could give it to her.

Once I was done with my purchase we visited too many electronic and clothes stores, without even realizing it, time had flown and it was too late for Imraan to drop us home and make it back to the office and then back to Umhlanga for a meeting with a client. We pondered what to do, and then decided that Dadi and I would wait for him to be done with his work and go home later, Dadi was adamant that she wasn't tied and as long as she could read Asr and Magrib it was no problem, I took her to the Jamaat Khanaa while Imraan made the necessary calls to his office to inform them of his change in plans. 
After Asr, Dadi and I remained in the JK while Imraan went to his meeting, he said he'd meet us back for supper at a seafood restaurant because Dadi loved 'feeesh'.

I put my phone on silent and Dadi read yaseen and 'all her dua's' while I read Surah Yusuf and Surah Mariam. 

After Magrib Dadi and I met Imraan again and we enjoyed a lovely meal. Dadi was starting to look tired but she also looked happy and relaxed, it was obvious she was enjoying herself and once again I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. 
She scoffed at my prawns saying she can't believe I eat them and I insisted she try...but she refused, I was trilled that I was tolerating seafood.

Straight after supper we went home, little tired and weary but no worse for wear.
However, what awaited us...wasn't a sight for sore eyes!

My MiL was furious! "Where were you'll! I tried your phones so many times, just ringing and ringing!" Oh-0, I had forgotten mine on silent and Imraan's had been off because of his meeting.
However, I couldn't understand why MiL was so angry...worried I get, but angry?

"Shaabir Papa came all the way for supper, how it looked that you'll weren't here!"...MiL fumed. "I went out of my way to invite them coz they couldn't make it for Eid, I prepared whole day, and you'll let me down like this." she was almost in tears...
I still couldn't understand why it was such a huge deal...
"they wanted to take Dadi home with them too, but she wasn't here and we couldn't get hold of you'll...imagine how they feel, all the way from stanger for nothing!" MiL went on...
"Ma you never even told us we having visitors.", Imraan said.
" Your Fatima told me you'll going to buy few things in your lunch break...how must I know your lunch break starts at Zohar and finishes' Esha wakaat", MiL was not taking any excuses today...
And then the main reason dropped...
" Now Dadi is stuck here for who knows how long!..all because of you two!", MiL exploded...
"All my hard work for nothing..."

Ah, and just like that, I became the worst DiL ever for trying to do something nice...but MiL didn't see the kind of example she was setting for Sumaya, Shireen and I.


Glossary:

1. oh my word, for true? nobody takes an old lady like me, i usually feel like going but everybody says im so old i will end up getting tired. i only go to Game City, nevermind but, what can i do.

Part 15: Who's the real Ho Maa here...All that glitters is not gold!

Things have been a little tense around here because MiL expected Dadi to leave on Eid day, but Dadi didn't! Instead she extended her stay indefinitely by saying that since Shaabir (her eldest son) hadn't come on Eid day, she had nobody to go with and she doesn't want to trouble anybody to drive her "here and there", so she will just stay here till a more convenient opportunity to leave comes up.

Ofcorse, my FiL told her there was no rush and she is most welcome to stay for as long as she likes, hadn't he offered her years ago to claim the second guest bedroom as hers and move in permanently. Dadi really glowed after that.

Quiet frankly I don't think anybody besides MiL and Shireen were bothered by Dadis presence. She fits into the household seamlessly. I for one enjoy having her around, she is very witty and her cooking and baking has fulfilled all my cravings!

I know Sumaya likes her too because she has enough patience with Talha.
So the only people that mind having Dadi are MiL and Shireen. Shireens reason was obvious, Dadi didn't like Shireen at all and made no secret of that. Dadi also disapproved of MiLs fondness over Shireen which was clearly different from her quick annoyance and hasty judgments of both Sumaya and I.

MiLs reasons for wanting Dadi to leave is less obvious and more typical. Dadi was fond of ruffling MiLs feathers and complained loudly and often. "Kayroon Gori, you got two-two maids and you still can't keep the house clean!, look at all the dust!"

So, while my FiL went out of his way to make Dadi feel welcome in the home, MiL tripped all over herself with subtle hints hidden behind false kindness.
"oh, Ma...its no trouble for us to drop you off, you know that...the boys won't mind at all! Even Fatima drives, she can drop you off too..."

Imraan's water glass came down fast, landing with a thud against the table, " Fatima is NOT  driving around unnecessarily, and dropping Dadi off is completely unnecessary. Dadi is in no hurry to go anywhere and besides, we won't be here this weekend, so Dadi can help you with Abbas work function.", Imraan said, sterner than was necessary.

Every year after Eid, my FiL holds a huge function for all the workers at the store. Every employee and their immediate family was invited, from the senior management (Muhammad and Bilal) right down to the cashiers and cleaners. It was the most looked forward to day in the company calendar and it was consider a perk of the job. I hadn't attended the previous ones and I was going to miss this years one too. 

A huge tent was erected in the back yard to hold over 400 people. The function was fully catered and help was outsourced for every aspect, however, if you overheard my MiL speak of the function, you would never know...she acted as if she was single handedly, physically doing every job instead of merely co-coordinating and overseeing as others performed the task.

"This year I'm making almost 60 roast chickens and oven vegetables.", she told one of her sisters over the phone. (really, are you cooking them in your extra width defy oven then?)
"every year we make same same things nahando, but this year, I changed it completely!", she told her SiL (it was the catering company that insisted that the menu needs a change, it had been the same for almost 25 years!)
"we serving mutton karai , hatchi waat! One whole sheep we'll cut!, I'm telling you, I'm so busy with all this.", she told her cousin from danahausser. (not to busy to phone you and tell you how busy I am, though)
"I have to serve vegetable biryani, madragee lorko kayne kaisaaki.", she told Shireens mother when she came over to visit (imagine, if vegetarians ONLY ate veg biryani!)

The function was such a big deal to my MiL as bosses wife that every year she had an outfit made, like it was the Oscars. This years teal and sea green printed fabric dress had a glittery netting and long flowing selves...so unsuitable for a 'busy' hostess. The dress leaked glitter all over the tiles every time MiL moved. When she tried it on for us, Talha loudly whispered to me that, "Dadi looks like the witch from that story you taught me in school, Fatima ma'am."
MiL acted like she didn't hear him and proceeded to show me all the bling she'll wear to match the dress...it was all abit much and over the top...but I didn't say so...

Tumi who was walking past with a jug of water, got so distracted by the dress she nearly trip and spill it...the string of insults hurled out of my MiLs mouth sent poor Tumi scurrying to the kitchen. 
Ah, all that glitters is not gold!

"How can Dadi come! She doesn't have anything nice to wear!", my MiL snapped at Imraan's suggestion.
"I brought a nice dress, my friend Shahedaah the dressmaker sewed for me from that chalaaktu challaktu fabric Fatima gave wedding time.", Dadi said hopefully.

For some reason, I suddenly felt very sorry for Dadi.
"you can't wear that old thing!", my MiL said adamantly, insulting both Dadi and I in one careless statement.
Dadi suddenly looked very small and sad, I wanted to go over and hug her.

"That's enough Kayroonisa!", my FiL sounded very angry (rare for him), "the staff don't need you to show them how fancy you are!, Ma can wear whatever she likes."

That out to put an end to the nasty
...oh so I thought...

Part 14: Back to the present

I've spent so much time recently, thinking of the past and how Imraan and I met and our wedding. I'm really looking forward to our first wedding anniversary. I really need to find Imraan a awesome, memorable gift. We also had our up coming trip to Malawi for Saleems wedding, to finalize.

I am really looking forward to that too. Malawi is not a place i ever intended to visit, if it wasn't for Saleems wedding I doubt Imraan and I would have even considered it. But Saleem is Imraan's best friend and its so close to our anniversary, we would have went away somewhere anyway.

I have been chatting to Saleema, Saleems fiancee for awhile now. (yes, Saleem and Saleema...too cute hey!) I was so surprised that there are Indians in Malawi, for some reason I never thought of that, so when Imraan told me that Saleems getting engaged to a girl from Malawi,I had thought...well, I'm too embarrassed to admit, even in my diary, what the snob in me, had thought.

Turns out Saleema is more Indian than Il ever be! She and her brothers were actually born in India but her family moved to Malawi when she was only a few months old.

From chatting to her I learned that Malawi has a relatively large community of Indian Muslims, restaurants and even hotels. She already had an itinerary planned for our visit, I couldn't wait to go and to meet her.

I was really looking forward to having some company too, usually when Imraan's friends go out, for fishing weekends or evening sports...I stay at home. I spend the time watching TV, catching up with series or playing with Talha or Tariq so Sumaya can have a break.

Very rarely do I make plans with my own friends or Nasreen that co-ordinate with Imraan's plans. Sometimes I visited my Kala or Mamagee during that time.

While I had met most of the other wives on different occasions, I only spent time with them when we attended weddings of  one of the other guys in the group.
Mainly because whenever the husbands made spur of the minute plans, the wives used it as extra time to visit their own families', which I would have done too, but my parents don't live 'around the corner' or 'down the road'. 

Saleema would be in the same boat as me and now I'd have the company to join in on some of the spur of the moment events, and go watch some of their games.

When Imraan and his friends plan longer outings for fishing over the holiday season, I always go home for that time...i don't know what Saleema will do or if Saleem would still go, leaving her alone.

I can't imagine what it must be like to marry and move to a whole new country. Saleemas brother married a South African girl from Johannesburg, who is Saleems first cousin, Saleema told me that Haseena is having a very hard time adapting to the different lifestyle. Malawi is a far cry from the fast-past life she was use to in Johannesburg. She also misses her family alot and feels isolated due to language differences, she is trying to adapt. Saleema worries that Haseena would feel more alone after Saleema herself marries.

I went back to work after Eid and I'm so glad I have a job that allows me flexibility...even though the children thrive on routine, at this point of the year they settle down well enough to interchange activities. 
I work mostly with those with birth defects and speech and hearing difficulties so changes to schedules doesn't cause any major setbacks.

However, those teachers who work with the Autistic children have much more rigid timetables as its part of their development needs. It takes alot of experience and patience to work within this sphere and I hope to enter that area once I complete my Honours program.

Imraan's Dadi has extend her visit with us and my MiL seems to be at her wits-end now. I get the feeling she is just waiting for a chance to politely tell her MiL it is time to go...

I wonder what this weekend has in store...

Announcement 3: Chapter 2

Flash back is over and its time to get back to the present. 
Tommorrow, Chapter 2 of 'The Real Diary of a Guji Wife' begins with Part 14.

Join Fatima for all her panchaat and excitement over her first wedding anniversary, Saleem's wedding, their plans to go to Malawi, her road trip to her home town, her Gyni appointment and why Dadi hasn't left after Eid...

All this and more, coming up in Chapter 2.

With her knack for drama, MiLs interference and all the mischief makers, things are bound to get out of hand and go off track...

Chapter 2...Starts tomorrow.
Love&Duas and a sprinkling of the good stuff...
Ree!