You can expect a dose of panchaat from the FICTIONAL Fatima in "The Real Diary of a Guji Wife" weekday mornings at 9am.
Any changes to the regular schedule will be conveyed via an Announcement such as this.
(P.S: the 'real' doesn't mean that its a true story, its a play on the name of another blog that people were complaining about it not being grounded enough...)- see 'Credits' at the bottom of the web version for more info regarding that.
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Also, please see the Introduction and the Disclaimer but if you still have doubts and you thinking of emailing me just to make sure...No, this blog is not about my real life, its not about yours, its not about somebody you know...it sounds familiar because its about 'typical' Guji people and I make up scenario's that are ment to be relatable...
If you still don't believe me, sit tight, most of the story is already done...with alot of surprising twist and turns that will clear all doubts.
Thanks for joining me on this journey, each part is as new to me as it is to you and because I'm already so far into the writing, I also read the published post every day like I never saw it before;) I'm just crazy like that!
Love&Dua's with dashing's of chutney and spice...
Ree!
Monday, 21 July 2014
Part 6- Chicken Soup with a helping of Suspicion
The weekend passed in almost a blur, I spent most of it sick and in bed. This flu really got me messed up. Every time I thought I was feeling better and tried to get up, the nausea and vomiting would return. To top it all of, I was cranky and moody and bloated too, my period was also due.
My mother was very worried, I had to insist that she doesn't need to come from Port Shepstone to see me. Luckily my father was already sitting for Itiqaaf and she also needed to be home to prepare the supper basket for him so my brother could take it after Magrib.
Imraan was worse than my mother, he was insisting I go to the doctor, but really I hate tablets especially antibiotics so it would just be a waste. I wouldn't take them anyway. I'm very stubborn when I want to be.
To pacify everybody I called work and asked for 2 days off, I must have sounded very bad because the secretary didn't even try to guilt trip me...in a small school like ours, they can't afford to let the children catch anything. Germs spread like wildfire! That's probably why I got sick so fast, all the snotty noses and grubby fingers all day, but shame, I love my job. I hope they get somebody nice to sit with my kids.
My MiL has surprised me beyond measure, she and Sumaya have been up to my room so often to check in with me and take care of me. My MiL even brings me tea and soup in bed. Not 'cup-a-soup' too, real chicken invalid soup from Indian Delights!
She has been forcing me to eat and drink a little every few hours, "You need the taarkit1 Fatima, thoo boor paatri che2"
My MiL has been so caring I'm actually suspicious, after the steak fiasco last week, I didn't expect this!
She's been in a bit of a panic mode this weekend too, cleaning every inch and square inch of the entire house, poor Tumi and Thembi must be finished!
This week Imraan's Dadi will be coming to stay, she'll be here till after Eid. Its fun to watch my MiL turn into a stressed DiL for a little while, but I know from the last visit Dadi spent here, the minute Dadi around my MiLs big girl champals3 come back on and she tackles us with new energy. Okay,maybe I exaggerate a little...
I can't believe that we days away from Eid already, I still have a few Paras left to finish my Quraan Khataam. I also have so many recipes I want to try for Eid.
I'm a bit nervous and excited for this Eid, it is my first Eid married, so it's the first one Imraan and I will be spending together.
My cousin Nasreen told me that on her first Eid married last year, all the old aunties kept touching her tummy asking when she's bringing one Baba and coming...Nasreen's very mischievous, she had gotten married just a month before Ramadaan so she kept telling them, "Oh, still 5 more months before my due date!"
I laughed myself silly when she described the look on their faces when they did the Math...it helped that she's a bit on the chubby side too, plus she had worn an Abayaa for Eid!
Neither less to say, her MiL didn't see the funny side to that story, she was fuming the next day after fielding off calls of 'concern' all morning...which was like a double win for Nasreen, ofcorse.
This Eid falls exactly a month before my first wedding anniversary and when we got married, Imraan and I agreed to start talking about having a family once we pass the one year mark...
Looks like alot of 'first' on the horizon, waiting for me...
Glossary:
My mother was very worried, I had to insist that she doesn't need to come from Port Shepstone to see me. Luckily my father was already sitting for Itiqaaf and she also needed to be home to prepare the supper basket for him so my brother could take it after Magrib.
Imraan was worse than my mother, he was insisting I go to the doctor, but really I hate tablets especially antibiotics so it would just be a waste. I wouldn't take them anyway. I'm very stubborn when I want to be.
To pacify everybody I called work and asked for 2 days off, I must have sounded very bad because the secretary didn't even try to guilt trip me...in a small school like ours, they can't afford to let the children catch anything. Germs spread like wildfire! That's probably why I got sick so fast, all the snotty noses and grubby fingers all day, but shame, I love my job. I hope they get somebody nice to sit with my kids.
My MiL has surprised me beyond measure, she and Sumaya have been up to my room so often to check in with me and take care of me. My MiL even brings me tea and soup in bed. Not 'cup-a-soup' too, real chicken invalid soup from Indian Delights!
She has been forcing me to eat and drink a little every few hours, "You need the taarkit1 Fatima, thoo boor paatri che2"
My MiL has been so caring I'm actually suspicious, after the steak fiasco last week, I didn't expect this!
She's been in a bit of a panic mode this weekend too, cleaning every inch and square inch of the entire house, poor Tumi and Thembi must be finished!
This week Imraan's Dadi will be coming to stay, she'll be here till after Eid. Its fun to watch my MiL turn into a stressed DiL for a little while, but I know from the last visit Dadi spent here, the minute Dadi around my MiLs big girl champals3 come back on and she tackles us with new energy. Okay,maybe I exaggerate a little...
I can't believe that we days away from Eid already, I still have a few Paras left to finish my Quraan Khataam. I also have so many recipes I want to try for Eid.
I'm a bit nervous and excited for this Eid, it is my first Eid married, so it's the first one Imraan and I will be spending together.
My cousin Nasreen told me that on her first Eid married last year, all the old aunties kept touching her tummy asking when she's bringing one Baba and coming...Nasreen's very mischievous, she had gotten married just a month before Ramadaan so she kept telling them, "Oh, still 5 more months before my due date!"
I laughed myself silly when she described the look on their faces when they did the Math...it helped that she's a bit on the chubby side too, plus she had worn an Abayaa for Eid!
Neither less to say, her MiL didn't see the funny side to that story, she was fuming the next day after fielding off calls of 'concern' all morning...which was like a double win for Nasreen, ofcorse.
This Eid falls exactly a month before my first wedding anniversary and when we got married, Imraan and I agreed to start talking about having a family once we pass the one year mark...
Looks like alot of 'first' on the horizon, waiting for me...
Glossary:
- strenght
- you very thin
- sandals
Saturday, 19 July 2014
Part 5-Coffee, Salt and all things right...
My Sehri alarm shook me awake...I must have fell asleep waiting for Imraan to come home from Tarawee so I could tell him about the steak.
Everybody was eating grumpily, the sound of slurping and spoons could only be heard when MiL broke the silence...
"Imraan my batchoo, how was the braai last night, the boys enjoyed the steak?"
"hmmm we where expecting BBQ though, what happened Fatima?"
Before I could reply, MiL spoke up,"oh you know how late Fatima gets home, I didn't want to trouble her so I did it for you, I don't know all these navoo navoo styles so I made my plain and simple one."
Oh the cheek!
"I had enough time to make it after work but it was already done before I even got home"
OMW!!where did that come from, who said that...did a sehri gandi take over my brain!!
My MiLs thin eyebrows shot up like arrows pointing at the ceiling, her mouth formed a tight O!
I gulped and looked down, but not before I caught the humorous smirk that crossed Sumaya's lips...did I have an ally across the table?
No time to think about that, Imraan cleared his throat, I waited with my heart in my throat for him to speak, but he just went back to eating his cereal.
Thankfully one of the twins crying in bed shifted every bodies focus...shew...saved by the cry, for now, I guess!
After fajr I went back to bed, it was finally Saturday and I was exhausted.
I woke up two hours later with the most awful feeling of nausea...I barely made it to the bathroom before I vomited my barely digested sehri...one mouthful, then two, then three...I gagged for eternity.
Finally I looked into the mirror, swollen red eyes, leaky nose and a flushed face greeted me...yes, the dreaded flu was in the building!
Imraan was standing at the bathroom door, his eyes full of concern, then... he turned and left the room. I sat on the bed clenching my towel, I wanted to cry but I had no energy. I know he must be so angry at me.
When the bedroom door opened again, I didn't look up till I smelt coffee, "Take a sip, its black...you will feel better"
I smiled a weak smile of relief, I didn't want coffee but it meant my husband cared about me still. I took a small sip and spat it out immediately, in a coughing fit, I managed to rasp "Who made this Imraan!, it's terrible"
His face fell, I made it for you...I'm sorry!
(shew, I thought he'd say it was his mum)
I tried to laugh. "I think you put salt instead of sugar..."
He started laughing too, "I was wondering why the sugar was with all the spices! lay down and relax, I will get you water"
"Imraan...about this morning..."
"don't worry, you know my mother means well,she likes to make life easy for her daughter-in-laws. Isn't that a Mufti Menk quote too?"
Trust a man to see the good...but hey, I'm just glad he isn't mad at me!
When Imraan came back he surprised me with what he said..."I know it must be hard sometimes all of you sharing the kitchen, I mean Ayesha and my mother use to fight all the time when it was only them, so I don't expect it to be easy with four of you in there now...you have never complained so far and I really appreciate that, tiMwah"
Oh, my man has all the right words...
Everybody was eating grumpily, the sound of slurping and spoons could only be heard when MiL broke the silence...
"Imraan my batchoo, how was the braai last night, the boys enjoyed the steak?"
"hmmm we where expecting BBQ though, what happened Fatima?"
Before I could reply, MiL spoke up,"oh you know how late Fatima gets home, I didn't want to trouble her so I did it for you, I don't know all these navoo navoo styles so I made my plain and simple one."
Oh the cheek!
"I had enough time to make it after work but it was already done before I even got home"
OMW!!where did that come from, who said that...did a sehri gandi take over my brain!!
My MiLs thin eyebrows shot up like arrows pointing at the ceiling, her mouth formed a tight O!
I gulped and looked down, but not before I caught the humorous smirk that crossed Sumaya's lips...did I have an ally across the table?
No time to think about that, Imraan cleared his throat, I waited with my heart in my throat for him to speak, but he just went back to eating his cereal.
Thankfully one of the twins crying in bed shifted every bodies focus...shew...saved by the cry, for now, I guess!
After fajr I went back to bed, it was finally Saturday and I was exhausted.
I woke up two hours later with the most awful feeling of nausea...I barely made it to the bathroom before I vomited my barely digested sehri...one mouthful, then two, then three...I gagged for eternity.
Finally I looked into the mirror, swollen red eyes, leaky nose and a flushed face greeted me...yes, the dreaded flu was in the building!
Imraan was standing at the bathroom door, his eyes full of concern, then... he turned and left the room. I sat on the bed clenching my towel, I wanted to cry but I had no energy. I know he must be so angry at me.
When the bedroom door opened again, I didn't look up till I smelt coffee, "Take a sip, its black...you will feel better"
I smiled a weak smile of relief, I didn't want coffee but it meant my husband cared about me still. I took a small sip and spat it out immediately, in a coughing fit, I managed to rasp "Who made this Imraan!, it's terrible"
His face fell, I made it for you...I'm sorry!
(shew, I thought he'd say it was his mum)
I tried to laugh. "I think you put salt instead of sugar..."
He started laughing too, "I was wondering why the sugar was with all the spices! lay down and relax, I will get you water"
"Imraan...about this morning..."
"don't worry, you know my mother means well,she likes to make life easy for her daughter-in-laws. Isn't that a Mufti Menk quote too?"
Trust a man to see the good...but hey, I'm just glad he isn't mad at me!
When Imraan came back he surprised me with what he said..."I know it must be hard sometimes all of you sharing the kitchen, I mean Ayesha and my mother use to fight all the time when it was only them, so I don't expect it to be easy with four of you in there now...you have never complained so far and I really appreciate that, tiMwah"
Oh, my man has all the right words...
Friday, 18 July 2014
Part 4-Two twins and Masaala steak
I got home to chaos in the kitchen, it was Sumaya's turn for savoury and Shireen's turn for main dish.
Sumaya had spring rolls out that she was crumbing and frying and 1 dozen mince samoosas ready to fry for her husband, I smiled to myself when I saw them. Her baby was parked in his pram in one corner, I went to tickle and coo at him, he is just too cute!
Shireen was frantically trying to put her chicken tarkaree together, she was loudly complaining to Sumaya that there is just no barkaat in time now days, "I don't know if these aloos will even get done, lucky Bilal won't eat curry, you know how he likes soft soft aloo only"
A loud yell sent her scurrying from the kitchen, she just knew her sons were up to no good.
I quickly got out my marinade ingredients onto the furthest counter top when MiL dearest walked in..."Sumaya leave all this and go see Talha, he was fighting with the twins! You only making one savoury? Bilal can't eat one type only, poor man is rozdaar too you know. Leave it, leave it...too late now, we'll just make do...
Let me check this tarkaree, bechari shireen, she got her hands full with those 'two twins' of hers, areh areh"
I could have sworn I saw Sumaya roll her eyes and wink at me as she left the kitchen...did she? Must be my imagination!
"Fatima what you doing with all that khatbhat there, don't you want to go read Quraan before iftaar..." (guess with nobody else left in the kitchen, it was my turn now...)
"Gee mummy, I just want to marinate some steak for Imraan then Il go"
"oh I already gave masaalah to that steak, you have to masaalah steak early, then its hawaat...Imraan likes my crushed chille masaala from small too"
Nasreens voice shouted 'say something, say something' in my head.
But my MiL had already moved on to complaining about Sumaya , "so much teel Sumaya frys in, well all will get jara jara...not enough her rung is all wrong now she wants to get jari too...lucky her two didn't get her complexion"
I just mumbled thank you and walked out. (Score: MiL-2, Me-Nil)
After iftaar I could barely keep my eyes open...I was just beyond tired. Imraan came into the room and saw me laying down, "You oki TiMwah?" he asked touching my forehead lightly.
"Gee baby, just so so sleepy."
"You must take it easy..why don't you sleep early, leave those steaks out for me, I won't wake you up later"
I smiled sleepily in thanks , only after he left for tarawee I dragged myself to retrieve the old ice cream container of steak from the fridge, (guess you can't put that much arad in real tupperware) and then I realised I forgot to tell him its not BBQ...ohh 0!
Sumaya had spring rolls out that she was crumbing and frying and 1 dozen mince samoosas ready to fry for her husband, I smiled to myself when I saw them. Her baby was parked in his pram in one corner, I went to tickle and coo at him, he is just too cute!
Shireen was frantically trying to put her chicken tarkaree together, she was loudly complaining to Sumaya that there is just no barkaat in time now days, "I don't know if these aloos will even get done, lucky Bilal won't eat curry, you know how he likes soft soft aloo only"
A loud yell sent her scurrying from the kitchen, she just knew her sons were up to no good.
I quickly got out my marinade ingredients onto the furthest counter top when MiL dearest walked in..."Sumaya leave all this and go see Talha, he was fighting with the twins! You only making one savoury? Bilal can't eat one type only, poor man is rozdaar too you know. Leave it, leave it...too late now, we'll just make do...
Let me check this tarkaree, bechari shireen, she got her hands full with those 'two twins' of hers, areh areh"
I could have sworn I saw Sumaya roll her eyes and wink at me as she left the kitchen...did she? Must be my imagination!
"Fatima what you doing with all that khatbhat there, don't you want to go read Quraan before iftaar..." (guess with nobody else left in the kitchen, it was my turn now...)
"Gee mummy, I just want to marinate some steak for Imraan then Il go"
"oh I already gave masaalah to that steak, you have to masaalah steak early, then its hawaat...Imraan likes my crushed chille masaala from small too"
Nasreens voice shouted 'say something, say something' in my head.
But my MiL had already moved on to complaining about Sumaya , "so much teel Sumaya frys in, well all will get jara jara...not enough her rung is all wrong now she wants to get jari too...lucky her two didn't get her complexion"
I just mumbled thank you and walked out. (Score: MiL-2, Me-Nil)
After iftaar I could barely keep my eyes open...I was just beyond tired. Imraan came into the room and saw me laying down, "You oki TiMwah?" he asked touching my forehead lightly.
"Gee baby, just so so sleepy."
"You must take it easy..why don't you sleep early, leave those steaks out for me, I won't wake you up later"
I smiled sleepily in thanks , only after he left for tarawee I dragged myself to retrieve the old ice cream container of steak from the fridge, (guess you can't put that much arad in real tupperware) and then I realised I forgot to tell him its not BBQ...ohh 0!
Thursday, 17 July 2014
Part 3- Seeing Good, Doing Good
As I drove to work this morning I was still thinking of last nights incident and mentally kicking myself.
I had just let it slide, there just wasn't much I could say while my mother was on the other end of the line saying, "kaynee kaynee, these things happen, Kayroon...atleast now I can ask you to remember me in all your special duas."
My MiL slithered back to her room as I finished up my call with my mother.
In my room I berated myself for not calling her out on it, but wouldn't it be my word against hers? I decided not to mention it to Imraan.
My cousin Nasreen would be very angry with me if she hears this, she warned me of these moments and made me promise not to be a doormat...oh well, pick your battles I think.
Now, in the car this morning I'm daydreaming about what I should have, could have, would have said to put my MiL in her place...I always hate how all the best lines come to me way too late!
Peeeeep, peeeeeeeeeeep, peep peep peeep!!!!!!!
I was jump started out of my fantasy by the impatient driver behind me, guess he was tired of reading prices for fishy things. I glanced in my rear-view and immediately pressed my hazards...when I was little I use to call it the 'tick tock' button, now since I started driving, I think of it as the 'sorry and thank you' button.
I changed gear ready to move off only to realize that the car in front of me was the one holding us up...it was swamped with beggars trying to get to the window...OMW! This was a bit much, even for Crescent street!
As they passed by me I saw the joy on their face and realized they each were clenching an assortment of chocolates at their chest...rolo and aero slabs, bars of tv bar, bar one and lunch bar...Yoh! This car must have tons to share!
As the driver ahead turned right I saw that she was a Muslim lady...Wow, what a lovely thing to do.
During my lunch break today I read Yaseen and then I decided to log on to Facebook after ages. My news feed is full of Gaza related post and pics that just break my heart...many of my friends are actively following the plight and campaigning against the oppression. I put my phone away and read another Yaseen for the men, women and children of Gaza. May Allah (SWT) ease their plight, Ameen. Why do I only notice how bad it is during Ramadaan, they live this everyday, all year through.
I saw a lady on BBM advertising for Palestinian scarves, the proceeds' go to Al-Imdaad to aid disaster relief, I need to order a few from her later.
This Ramadaan I just don't feel like myself, I'm restless...tired...achy...i think I am getting the flu. At least it is not my turn for iftaar, just need to fry grill some masaala some steak for Imraan, think he wants to braai them after Taraweeh, he says he loves the BBQ sauce marinade I make.
I had just let it slide, there just wasn't much I could say while my mother was on the other end of the line saying, "kaynee kaynee, these things happen, Kayroon...atleast now I can ask you to remember me in all your special duas."
My MiL slithered back to her room as I finished up my call with my mother.
In my room I berated myself for not calling her out on it, but wouldn't it be my word against hers? I decided not to mention it to Imraan.
My cousin Nasreen would be very angry with me if she hears this, she warned me of these moments and made me promise not to be a doormat...oh well, pick your battles I think.
Now, in the car this morning I'm daydreaming about what I should have, could have, would have said to put my MiL in her place...I always hate how all the best lines come to me way too late!
Peeeeep, peeeeeeeeeeep, peep peep peeep!!!!!!!
I was jump started out of my fantasy by the impatient driver behind me, guess he was tired of reading prices for fishy things. I glanced in my rear-view and immediately pressed my hazards...when I was little I use to call it the 'tick tock' button, now since I started driving, I think of it as the 'sorry and thank you' button.
I changed gear ready to move off only to realize that the car in front of me was the one holding us up...it was swamped with beggars trying to get to the window...OMW! This was a bit much, even for Crescent street!
As they passed by me I saw the joy on their face and realized they each were clenching an assortment of chocolates at their chest...rolo and aero slabs, bars of tv bar, bar one and lunch bar...Yoh! This car must have tons to share!
As the driver ahead turned right I saw that she was a Muslim lady...Wow, what a lovely thing to do.
During my lunch break today I read Yaseen and then I decided to log on to Facebook after ages. My news feed is full of Gaza related post and pics that just break my heart...many of my friends are actively following the plight and campaigning against the oppression. I put my phone away and read another Yaseen for the men, women and children of Gaza. May Allah (SWT) ease their plight, Ameen. Why do I only notice how bad it is during Ramadaan, they live this everyday, all year through.
I saw a lady on BBM advertising for Palestinian scarves, the proceeds' go to Al-Imdaad to aid disaster relief, I need to order a few from her later.
This Ramadaan I just don't feel like myself, I'm restless...tired...achy...i think I am getting the flu. At least it is not my turn for iftaar, just need to fry grill some masaala some steak for Imraan, think he wants to braai them after Taraweeh, he says he loves the BBQ sauce marinade I make.
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