Flash Back Mini Series-Part 4: Nikkah of Fatima to Imraan (30/08/13) and happily ever after...

My friends really helped to pull my wedding plans off the ground, I wanted small and simple because the wedding is just one day, it's the marriage that needs to last a lifetime.

Imraan and I spent so little on our actual wedding that our parents gave us the money they would have spent as a bacshish1. We invested most of it, besides the portion we spent on our honeymoon to Thailand and Bali. It was totally worth it.

On the day of our Nikkah, my parents had a lunch at the Marburg community Hall after Jumuah. It was a simple dholl and rice function with paper plates and cups and Kit Kat. All the Musallahi's2 were told to come and most of the people we knew in Port Shepstone showed up, including all out of town guest from both families who were already around for the Nikkah3. It was so laid back and informal, I didn't see Imraan but I knew he was there somewhere. 
I chatted to my cousins and friends after a morning of pampering that Kats had booked for me at a local spa.
I was whisked away after lunch for a hairdresser and make up appointment and I insisted on minimal make up. I wanted to look like me, a more polished me but still me...not a whole new painted person Imraan wouldn't recognize.

Back home I changed into the beautiful slim cut, plain white and navy blue dress I had designed, it was modest, decent and made me feel like a princess never the less. I draped my hijaab4 using an online tutorial luths had sourced for me of a style I had always admired.

I then prayed Asr and stayed on the musalaah5 making dua until I heard the Nikkah commencing over the Bilal Musjid Receiver. 
My heart skipped too many beats as I heard the Moulana ask Imraan if he accepted me into his Nikaah and then Imraan repeated the dua.
It took a few moments before I realized I was now MARRIED!
My mum, Dadi, sister, SiL, Nasreen, lots of aunties and cousins burst into the room soon after, only as they hugged me and congratulates me, did I being to cry.

Soon the men arrived from the Musjid, I was showered with Dua and advice and when I finally found myself in my fathers arms, I cried rivers. My bags were in the lounge already and Imraan's family started hooting from the bottom of the road all the way up our drive way. 

I prayed Magrib in my room then I left with Imraan to check into a hotel in St. Micheals at Sea.
We rejoined his family for supper at his Aunties home on Millionaires Avenue.

We were back at the hotel after Esha and finally alone and suddenly much too shy.

Saturday afternoon we took a drive to Durban and stayed the night at a Hotel in Umhalanga.

On Sunday, our Walima took place at the NMJ Hall...Imraans family outdid themselves with a silver and teal theme to match my dress. Up till today, people still talk about the taste of the biryani.
Instead of centre pieces, Sumaya had made bowls of seasonal fruit for guest to eat. There was no stage or flower arrangements. We tried to be tasteful without being wasteful.

For the walima, my Dadi and Imraan's Dadi, coincidently wore the same dress. When I asked my Dadi about it she told me that when Imraan's Dadi saw her she came over and said, " tu boor expensive-expensive kaproo lidu.6"
To which my Dadi replied, "whu expensive-expensive, boor sastu, Mara waaste famous fabric 50%off didoo7."
Imraan's Dadi opened her eyes wide, "haatchi waat?"8, she asked.
And my Dadi replied, " haa...buy 1 (pointing to herself)- get 1 free! (pointing to Imraan's Dadi)
My Dadi was pleasantly surprised that Imraan's Dadi laughed whole heartedly at her joke, thus immediately making the two old ladies, firm friends. They spent the rest of the function together, talking about olden days and when people commented on their dresses they replied that the bride and groom got their good tastes from the Dadis'.

Imraan and I had each recorded messages to our families that were played out at the Walima. I had so much fun that day..close family lingered long after lunch.

We spent two more nights in Umhlanga before flying to Thailand and then Bali.
It was pure bliss!

We quickly settled into married life on our return, Imraan went back to work as a junior attorney at the firm he still works for and I completed my degree.
In January I started full time at the same school I had done my prac, as the ball skills and speech and drama coach to special needs children.

Our story had only just began...The rest, as they say, is history!

Glossary: 

1. gift
2. men who prayed at the musjid
3. islamic wedding ceremony
4. headscarf
5. prayer mat
6. very expensive fabric you bought
7. what expensive, very cheep, for me the store gave 50% off
8. for true!!!

Flash Back Mini Series- Part 3: Happiness and Sadness

I had filled in two fields on that form...1. Bride's representative, 2. Contact number...

The following weekend, Imraan's family drove up to meet me.
 I was so glad that at least I kinda knew Sumaya. She was quiet and 6 months pregnant, but at least she was a familiar face, oh and Talha, who was so excited to be visiting Fatima ma'am at home. I think he was shocked teachers even had a home, he must have thought we live in school, lol.

I never had an engagement party, shortly after my proposal, Nani took ill...she had too move in with my Kala amidst wedding preps for Nasreen, things were hectic. 

One weekend while we were in Durban, Imraan, his mother and father, sister and SiLs came to my Kala's house, we set a date for less than a month after Ramadaan. They put a gold chain and that same ring on for me. 
My Kala then whipped out some Mithia she had left from Nasreen's kunchaas, and just like that Imraan and I were engaged.

Even though we chatted before our conversations now were different...less vague and light hearted, it was deeper, more honest and a bit shyer. He wasn't as bold as he had first appeared. He said he was relieved I was not as aloof as I had appeared.

We decided to limit our contact to one chat every evening and supervised visits every second weekend...we didn't want to get so familiar that we lose the true muhabaa and magic of marriage, this was our halfway point and it pleased our parents.

With Nani so sick and Nasreen's wedding on the horizon, my own wedding prep was getting left behind.

Imraan and I decided on a Nikkah for a Friday after Asr in Port Shepstone, no reception, a walima in Durban on Sunday.
My parents ended up having a huge lunch after Jumuah at the Marburg Hall for everybody. It wasn't fancy, I wore an abayaa and scarf like everybody else.

My friends from campus took over my wedding plans, they scheduled and made bookings for me, planned shopping trips etc, it was a huge relief.

Nani was in and out of hospital and getting weaker, Nasreen's wedding became the first family function that Nani wasn't directly involved in.

After Nasreens wedding, Nani took a turn for the worse. Nas cut her honeymoon short and came back home early.
About five days before Ramadaan, Nani woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, I sat up next to her...she had barely spoken recently, "Nani you okay?" I asked her? 
I quickly switched on the light.
"kaa che garjaal?" I pointed to the bedside clock, its half past 3 Nani.
Nani started getting out of bed, i rushed to help her...her breathing was laboured and wheezy...she felt so small and frail in my arms, its hard to believe that she once use to carry me around on her hip.

"must make wudu, must make wudu, fajr ke suru, fajr ke suru" 
I didn't know what else to do so I helped her into the bathroom and helped her make wudu, after she was done I wiped her face, hands and feet while she sat on the chair. She slowly tied her downy, still muttering about fajr time, her eyes seemed dazed-like she was far away, I wondered if she even realized I was there.

I quickly opened her musalah and faced it towards qiblaah, I was trying to turn her chair when she said, put me on the floor Fatima, I want to make sajdaa on the ground.

As soon as she began salaah, I rushed to my mothers room, in tears I told my mother Nani was reading fajr now, before time...
"Don't worry, don't worry, let her...come i'll make us some tea..."

I checked on Nani she was sitting on her musalaah still making dua. Soon Kala and everybody else woke up for fajr and mummy told them Nani had woken early to read, one by one they went into see her while she made dua.
 When I finished pray my fajr I realized Nani had been in sajdaa for very long now, when I went near I couldn't hear her wheezy breath anymore...I ran to the door shouting "mummy, mummy!!!!!"...then everything went black!

I awoke to my mothers voice," its okay Fatima, its okay..." 
Tears filled my mothers eyes and spilt over, running down her face...
It wasn't a dream then, I knew...I squeezed my eyes closed.
"She's gone batchoo, she's gone...she lived long and she had such a beautiful death, it was all she ever wanted baby, you have to be strong", my mother said to me.
I kept shaking my head, She didn't understand.
"I was right there mummy, right there...on the other musalaah...she never even made a sound."

My mother looked at my Mamajee,
 When did he get here? 
He will make Nani better, I know he will!
"I think she needs something, doc..."
My mamajee nodded,"Already on it Mumtaz".
I felt a pinch and once again everything was black.

I woke up two hours later feeling stronger , I had a dream of Nani, surrounded by a beautiful garden. I knew then, that she was in Jannah. 
I showered and changed, I wore my most beautiful abayaa. No doubt many ladies thought I had lost it, I looked like a rainbow in the sea of black.
I read and made Dua for Nani, I refused to talk to anybody while the Janaza was in the house. Lots of people whispered about me, no doubt thinking I had had a nervous breakdown.
"shame...so close to her wedding too."


Imraans SiLs and mother came, I acknowledged them with a nod.
After the funeral I phoned Imraan, in a quiet corner I broke down and told him it all...he quietly listened and made Dua, after that, I felt a bit whole again.

That Ramadaan was a blur. A few weeks after Eid was  my wedding day...Thank goodness for lutfi and Kat...I wouldn't have got anything done if it wasn't for them!

Message from the Author

Lets leave all Fatima's panchaat one side so i can tell you some of my own.

 I logged on to my blogger dashboard on Friday and couldn't believe my eyes! At first I thought I was seeing 'double double' like Imraan's Dadi, but after I refreshed a few times, I figured there was no mistake.

The blog views had shot up into the 4 digits...and climbed steadily over the weekend. The stats show log ins from around the world...

And me...im just dumbfounded...
I can't believe so many people are reading my story that was never intended to be a story in the first place.

I'm humbled, awestruck and ever so grateful. And since I write in advance of the live blog, I'm glad all my work isn't going to go to waste too.

Shukraan / Thank you so much. My story hardly seems worthy of all the attention, I am truly blown away.

I can only hope you continue to enjoy the story as the plot thickens and the storylines emerge, climax and ultimately reach its conclusion.

On the Admin Side:

I thought it would be a good idea to include two new page's to the blog...
One for all the recipes Fatima make's, it's actual food so why not. This ofcorse, my Administrative Assistant (aka:Sister) and I will do as and when we have time.

The second page would be for you to post recipes you think Fatima should try. From time to time, Il include a mention in the story of something from this page, eg:
"today for supper I made that cottage cheese pie that my friend Mariam told me about, she got the recipe from her BBM group Yumminess's"
So please, include all the details and credits under the title of your recipe when sharing.

Finally, Thank You so much for reading, don't be shy to comment, I would love to hear what you think.

A rather speechless but very grateful,
Ree

Flash Back Mini Series-Part 2 : Still Reminiscing...

I never expected him to reply immediately , it was passed midnight already, so I just browsed my news feed and got ready for bed.
 Just before I switched my phone off, my messenger alert beeped, we got talking and I ended up telling him the entire Nas&Mo drama that night. we talked about his job, my studies, our families...we just kind of clicked. I don't know how but it was soon fajr, so I just logged off.

Over the next few weeks Imraan and I chatted quiet frequently, in my heart I knew it was wrong but I couldn't pull away. Sometimes Imraan spoke of marriage and proposing but I didn't know what to make of it. he had a great sense of humour which I enjoyed but it also made it hard for me to see if he was joking or serious about some things so I just brushed those subjects off. My time in Durban was also coming to an end.

On the second last day at school the principal called me in and offered me a job for the following year, once I qualified. I was stunned, but I had no plans to move to Durban permanently, I thanked her profusely and she told me to think about it and give her an answer by mid year.

When I went back to the staffroom there was a velvet gift box placed at my usual spot, I thought it was for somebody else but the card on the single rose, said 'Fatima'.

I hesitated then open it. Inside was a folded page, I lifted it out and opened it. My heart did a flip-flop.

 It was a Nikkah Details form from the Marburg musjid in Port Shepstone, the field for Brides name was filled in neatly with my details. The rest of the form was completely empty.
Under the page was a silver Parker pen, crystal incusted, a diamond ring was pushed into the pen clip...it was beautiful.

I sat down and wondered what to do...after a long while, I picked up the pen, and filled in just two fields...
Then, I replaced everything exactly how I had found it, put it into a large envelope which I labelled as Imraan and went in search of Talha, I told him to tell me when his mummy comes to fetch him. 

When I saw Sumaya at home-time I wordlessly handed it to her. Then I put my phone off for the rest of the day.

I went home and baked a ton of cupcakes to give all the kids,tomorrow  was my last day!


The Sunday after my teaching practice had ended my parents drove down to fetch me, as soon as I saw them I knew something was up! My mother had a jumpy look in her eyes and my father refused to meet my eye. 

Nani must have noticed it too, coz she kept asking if everything was okay. They were kind of quiet. It made me feel nervous and afraid.

I said a tearful goodbye to Nani, it was so sad to leave after spending the entire month with her. I would be back soon enough though, Nasreen had set the date for her wedding for before Ramadaan and I wanted to come back and help her closer to the date.

The drive home was strange, my parents remained a little quiet. I hadn't had contact with Imraan since I sent his gift back, so I didn't know if he had anything to do with their mood, the quietness and gentle drive soon lulled me to sleep. I awoke when we where almost home. 

At home I went to my room after one month, I realized I had missed it. Fatima!!! My father called, my heart jumped...I knew this was it! Time to face the music, I took deep breath  and went to speak to my parents...

Flash Back Mini Series Part 1 - A touch of Nostalgia...

Seeing Nasreen and Muhammad on Eid day got me thinking of how I met Imraan since it was around the same time as their engagement...
It also reminded me of my Nani. Nasreens engagement was the last family function she preceded over with all her skill and Nani-isms.

In my fourth year I had to do a major prac at a recognized ECD facility for special needs, Port Shepstone has one or two only so I decided to find one in Durban that catered for children with Autism, Cerebral palsy, hearing and speech difficulties, etc. I came and stayed with my Nani for that month...my Nani was thrilled.

The Friday before Nasreen's engagement I was sitting in the office working on some resource's when a guy came in saying he was there to fetch his nephew early. He gave his name and the name of his nephew and waited while the secretary called the parents to confirm and authenticated the leave. 

I noticed the guy as he looked around, you know those times when you see somebody for the first time but you notice everything in one glance, well this was that kind of time...only problem is, he noticed me noticing him and I felt my give away blush rising to my cheeks. Luckily the secretary distracted him by asking for his signature and I used the moment to escape.

A few moments later I looked out of the staffroom window only to catch HIM looking at ME while he walked his nephew,Talha-a little boy who had hearing difficulties due to an illness after birth, out. Shew, I was glad to see the door close behind him...okay maybe not glad, but you know...that was too embarrassing for one day.

The following Monday I was still wondering about HIM much to my own annoyance while I watched the children as they waited to be picked-up. "Excuse me...are you Fatima ma'am?", a voice asked me.

I looked up into the face that disturbed me, nothing like the one I was dreaming off, but I quickly realized, this lady was holding onto the hand of the same little boy I saw HIM fetch yesterday. Oh-0...

I nodded my head, not trusting my voice, what did she want?
"salaams, I'm Sumaya, Talhas mother, my brother-in-law saw you yesterday and asked me, no wait, forced me, into asking you for your number" she said it fast , all in one breath.

She took me completely by surprise, I cleared my throat and quietly said, "I'm sorry I can't do that"
"okay no problem, please make maaf, I hope I haven't offended you" and  she quickly turned and walked away, her face red.
I almost felt sorry for her as I heard her mutter, "I told your stupid uncle not to make me do this, he just embarrassed her and me now, he doesn't listen"
I almost laughed, she was cute, in all her pregnant huffiness and irritation.

That evening I saw an email on my blackberry in the school email account I had set up for sponsorships. Thinking I finally had a sponsor, I opened up excitedly, even when I saw the name Imraan in the address bar it didn't click, the subject was 'just one question'.
I opened it immediately still thinking its a possible sponsor.

"if i sponsor the event will I get your phone number?"-whaaat the...
I read the senders name again and realized who it was.
"pretty persistent you are" I replied
"I know, never did this before but there's just something about you...that sounds so lame"
"never did what before?" I texted back
"never bribed a preschooler for his homework record book, never read through every note hoping to find a way to contact somebody."
"you sound like a stalker quiet frankly, and I have enough going on, I don't have time for this"
"I'm sorry, I'm not a stalker, I just want to get to know you, can I please invite you on Facebook"

Something told me that this guy was serious, weird but serious... I didn't have time to deal with him now, I need to sort things with Nasreen first. The rumour mill was working hard after yesterdays engagement.

"yah whatever, if you can find me, add me"

After things had sort of calmed down that night and my Kala and Nasreen had left, I logged on to Facebook and ofcorse there was an invite waiting for me, the invite message said simply, "found you".

I accepted and typed back, "ofcorse you did, that's what stalkers do"...